WHO are these over demanding BRIDES?

Question

I have read so many stories on these boards of women (Bridezillas) wanting this and that, and making all these unreasonable demands..NONE of my son's will marry over-bearing bossy women like that....

A wedding lasts 15 minutes....WHY does it have to be so fricking PERFECT? Get ready for a real let down, LIFE is anything but perfect....

my son's thankfully are not attracted to women who want to "wear the pants" in the relationship...it reminds me of that one on Dr. Phil, she was a real piece of work....perfection is just a way to set yourself up for a let down....I have been married 22 years, something many will NEVER see, and my wedding was small and imperfect....

my neice recently got married, and she had a wedding that she and her husband mostly paid for, it was small, and over in 15 minutes from walk to vows to announcing the Mr and Mrs. and NOW all she does is COMPLAIN, how much it cost her, and how they are behind on their bills, yada, yada...I can't even listen to her anymore...she wishes she had the 8,000 bucks now because they wanna furnish their little house and their CC are maxed out!

Answer 1

Well, I look at it this way... if a guy is dumb enough to give into the demands, he deserves what he marries.
...... and I'm the mom of a son who's about to graduate Uni. If my son brought home a girl who expected a 20,000 dollar wedding, I'd say: great... have your wedding and have fun paying for it. It's that simple. If my son decided to go into that much debt for a one-day affair, then I'd be sorely disappointed and really would have to question whether I've raised him right.
The thing is that it's not even about the money, but the principle of it. 20K is the downpayment for a house, it's a payment for a car, it's several months of living expenses.. to blow that on a wedding is unconscionable, in my opinion.

Answer 2

I totally agree with you, but you know how some people can be, they want it to be "perfect" and have unrealistic ideas that their wedding is the only important event and should dominate the entire lives of everyone in their lives. They get freaked out, and that makes them bridezillas, I am not excusing poor behaviour in any way shape or form as I too find it appalling, but you'll never know if the girlfriend is a bridezilla til she becomes a bride to be, and by then it will be too late.

Answer 3

I totally agree with you. When i was planning my wedding I had my whole family involved and it was not stressful. We all did something and no, it wasn't perfect but it was such a personal experience with two families working together and creating an awesome day. Now that I look back on the wedding I think, yes it was wonderful and beautiful, but it was ONE DAY. The day was over before I knew it and now it is just a memory. I don't know why people get so worked up over their wedding. The emphasis should be on the marriage, not the wedding.

Now that I have a son it is so funny to watch my brother's fiance talk about her wedding all the time. I just want to sit her down and tell her to chill out, but I know that won't do any good. Maybe when she has her first child we can talk about how silly it all was.

Answer 4

WHO are these opinionated and ranting mothers? Now I agree with you on those who go into debt and want the "perfect" wedding. Yes, that is a mistake. But I have yet to meet a Bridezilla who is not on a TV show. Is a woman a Bridezilla because she does not want to get jerked around by a vendor, and sticks up for herself? Is a woman a Bridezilla if she happens to work hard for her money and wants to have a nice (but not over the top) wedding?

Bridezillas are long dead for the most part. Most brides I know want to have a fun (but still personal and nice) wedding, and make sure their guests are well taken care of. My Catholic ceremony is 1 hour long, and I want my guests to enjoy it. We will be having a harpist and small choir. Does that make me a Bridezilla? Or just creative and someone who likes music?

I think it is foolish of you to put down women who happen to think for themselves and have an opinion on what they want (I don't watch mindless American TV like Dr. Phil, so I don't know exactly what you're talking about). I will be obtaining a professional degree and will have a career, and I work hard for my money. I bought my own condo when I was 20. I have never once had my family support me, and I moved out when I was 16 and put myself through school. My parents are mentally ill and beat me.

If I choose to spend some of my hard earned money on my wedding, I will. As long as someone isn't going into debt and the amount is reasonable, who am I to judge? If I want to have a creative wedding, I will. If I want my guests to feel taken care of, I will. You make it sound like the way to avoid divorce is a $200 courthouse wedding. Trust me, lots (more?) of those fail too. A better way to avoid divorce is to see marriage as a sacrament or life binding contract, not a piece of paper.

Perhaps you should be suggesting that couples go for premarital classes, such as we did. We met with the priest 4 times and attended classes and a weekend session.

I have had a LOT of hardships in my life. Likely more than you and I am probably half your age. And I have made it and came out OK. I now have a great fiance, and we have worked hard to have a nice wedding. I have waited and not had sex so I could stay true to my religion. I feel no guilt about wanting or having a nice wedding. I have waited a long time. I am not demanding about it, I am not bossing anyone around. But yes, it will be formal, and I want it that way.

My concern is that you want to have your son marry a woman who has no direction or mind of her own. Why you would want to have your son father children with someone with a lower IQ, drive, goals, etc. I have no idea. Most of us want our children to have the BEST chance for success in life...

Just for the record, unless you live in rural areas, $8000 for a wedding is BELOW AVERAGE. If you live in a large city, paying $100 per plate is *standard*. As you said, you have been married 22 years...prices have changed...

Answer 5

Sorry, don't know any women like that at all. Perhaps it is just this forum and you should look at the real world rather than just the internet as it is obviously a biased sample of the population.

P.S. $8000 is not alot of money for a wedding. If your niece and her husband can't afford that maybe they need to get better jobs and live within their means.
Anyone can still have the 'perfect wedding' even on a budget smaller than that.

Answer 6

depends on the women. I have seen the most wonderful calm women turn into bridzillas as the wedding day approaches! This is a very stressful event, and they do have a right to have it perfect or at least want it perfect. If the bride doesnt show interest or doesnt care THAT is what would scare me.

Answer 7

sometimes it just happens. everyone can have bridezilla moments, and I'm not any exception. we were going to have our wedding at my fiance's parents new (big) house, it was still being built at the time and the wedding was in a year, which they assured me was PLENTY of time, his father is in construction and was doing it himself. they call us about 9 months before the wedding and said that the house isn't going to be ready. I flipped out!!! we had our caterer, dj, photographer and everything already booked and deposits paid...and we had to find a new venue...to top it off, we don't even live in the state we were getting married in. My mother in law went and looked at venues for us and sent us pictures...I was a real pill, nothing was right with any venue. the chairs were ugly, the carpet was ugly. I literally went insane.

Answer 8

I don't think most of the women you are refering to want "to wear the pants" they just want their wedding to be memorable and for most of us it is something we have been looking forward to since we were little. I don't know what weddings you attend that last 15 minutes, but Catholic weddings can last upwards of two hours. I don't have any unrealistic expectations of life being perfect but when it comes to the wedding there are some things I want and will have. For instance I don't think it's wrong to ask the bridesmaids to all wear the same dress, it's tradition and if someone doesn't want to wear it then they don't have to be a bridesmaid. Honestly from your "question" it seems to me that people who feel the way you do are what's wrong with todays wedding scene. There is alot to be said about tradition, beauty and a bit of grandure and style. Not all of us want to get married holding plastic flowers and have a pitch in afterwards. Brides are often pictured similarly to the way princesses are, because he is choosing his "queen" his perfect girl and some of us want to live at least a little bit of that fairy tale. As long as she's not asking people to bow down and worship when she walks by I say a girl should have what she has dreamed of withing the relm of her fiance's agreement and the budget.

Answer 9

There is a difference between Bridezillas and couples who spend a lot on their wedding.

My wedding is going to cost around $25000 CDN but I am one of the most laid back brides you will ever see. We both know we will be getting married only once so why not do it how we want it and don't feel the need to settles for less than we expect. Our focus is on our marriage, not on our wedding.

On the other hand, I've heard of women who need the exact color of flowers or they freak out, women who tell their bridesmaids they cant get pregnant even though the wedding is 2 years away - and that's another thing, who plans a wedding 2 years in advance???

Answer 10

I don't think I am over-demanding. However, in planning a wedding, I want to throw a nice party - as does my Fiance. He is having as much say in the plans as I am (it really is 50/50).
If I were having a family get-together and hiring people to make it work, I would want quality for the money I am spending. The same applies to my wedding.
Maybe people take that as over-demanding. However, I don't think it is fair to blanketly label a lot of people as such.
I have a budget, and plan to stick to it. We already have a home, cars, etc. We are not going into debt for our wedding, but I do view it as "I'm spending around 15-grand and I expect to have a good party". Do I expect perfect? No. But do I expect quality for all that money - Absolutely!