My sister has informed me that she's an atheist...?

Question

She's 15 and she's decided that she believes in Darwin's Theory and not God.

I'm a Pentecostal Christian and while I don't want to push her, I would like to see her give it a chance. We were never raised in a church, I found God after I left home and met my husband. Our other sis is 16 and also attends a Christian church (I'm 26).

Any ideas on how I can gently introduce her to God (she refuses to go to church), or at least open the lines of communication to find out why she believes in what she does (I'm afraid I don't know much about Darwin's theory). Although I have faith I do have a hard time talking about it in the open so I'm not sure how to get past my fears to bring it up (but my fear of her going to h*** is worse than talking).

I don't want to push her into anything, and she hasn't followed "my rules" for 15 years. There was no religion, no anything in our home so she has never given church a chance, I'm not an evangelist and I don't want to "change" her, it's just hard for me to accept that anyone could believe in something else because my faith is so strong, I've never even known an atheist before.

And I will always love my sister no matter what she believes in... this is not a game of "come with me or die".

Maybe those of you without faith can't understand, but when you believe in something so completely it overtakes you. It seems so right and perfect to me (even if others don't agree) that it's hard to believe that anyone could NOT believe in it, to me it just makes so much sense.

WOW, I didn't realise I was opening such a can of worms!

Answer 1

Keep loving her, no matter what she does or says. Don't give in to her beliefs but love her in spite of them. Keep the lines of communication open and listen to her honestly with an open heart and open ears. Don't try to "counter" her beliefs but don't give in to them either. The Holy Spirit has to work in her. She will come around if you do not close the door and if you actively love her. Do not worry about her going to Hell. That is not your concern and if you are acting out of fear you will only drive her away. Instead, trust that God is working in her and continue to have faith in the work of the spirit. Continue to pray. You will be surprised how the Spirit will bring conviction. She will get upset with you. It will be guilt from the conviction, but continue to love her. After a while she will turn to the Lord.

Answer 2

I've been reading a few of other answers...I understand each is entitled to their own opinion and belief....But don't we go far beyond a belief.....I have a conviction I accepted Christ as my saviour, and this is what I believe in, I can feel your worry, but I would not stop talking about Jesus if I was you....remember as the Bible tells us....if we are afraid or embarrased to talk and defend God....Jesus says he will be embarrased to His Father to protect us. It is your duty to let her into the Holy Word...but it is also your duty to show her the Life u have now once a Christian, u have to show and then talk to her in her terms and when she allows.. I do advice ya to read on Darwin's Theory, which basically states us humans come from an evolutionay process from the apes..can u imagine? I read about this at school, I studied that, does not mean I agreed...nowhere in Darwin's theory is there such as stating the first living humans on earth Adam and Eve, which were made to look as the Humans we are now not apes, its very hard to stick to your convictions and to what God wants us to do, but do not despair, and do not let Lucifer have his way, its gonna be a battle but u will get through to her I am sure, do not stop praying and asking for intervention.- Good luck and God Bless

Answer 3

Just keep loving her and be there for her, just as you would anyone, but especially because she's your sis. Don't push. It will only push her away. There is a painting of Christ, maybe you've seen it, standing at the door of a house, knocking. There is no door knob on the outside of the door. It is saying, Christ is there , asking to come in to your heart. You can open the door and let him in, but he will never force his way in. Too many Christians forget this when talking with non-believers. They think they can beat them over the head with their faith to make them believe. It doesn't happen. Remember this when you are with your sis. Pray for her, love her, be there for her and live your life as an example, with integrity and faithfulness.

Answer 4

clearnly, you both are still seaching for the right answer. she is doing so by exploring alternatives to what she feels is a corrupt or incomplete understanding of the world. clearly you dont have a perfect understanding or else you wouldnt be so afraid to share it. let her explore on her own. if she comes to christianity ON HER OWN TERMS, then this is when she can really learn something from it. if you try and "convert" her, chances are your just going to push her away.

bringing up topics of discussion not directly related to religion is a good way to open a dialogue. for instance, you can ask her about what she considers to be right and wrong (like if there is an absolute code, or if its relative to each individual). you can also ask her about how she believes the evolutionary process began, but dont share your views unless asked for them. a person has to seek to find. if you just shove it on her, youre doing much more harm than good.

who are you to say you have it right for HER? you might have it right for YOU... but even this you can never be certian of.... you can only have FAITH

Answer 5

I'm not a fan of people actively trying to convert anyone or change anyone else's beliefs (since I don't think that true beliefs can ever really be changed). However, if your wish here is merely to open your sister's eyes to another way of thinking, regardless of whether or not she ultimately decides she agrees with it, the burden falls on you. You've admitted that you don't know much about her beliefs, so why not learn? Do some research on your own and then talk to your sister about it. Ask what she believes and really listen. Try to leave your Christian views at the door and just listen to what she has to say. She's your sister and I think she deserves that much.

In the end, I wouldn't worry terribly. She's 15, so she's going to change her mind about everything in her life a hundred times before she turns 21. The same goes for your 16 year-old sister. They're young and are just finding their places in the world, which includes defining their belief structure. But as long as you and her are open-minded and respectful in listening to each other's beliefs, you should be able to remain close regardless of what religious titles you each fall under.

Answer 6

I believe ChefMel's question is personal and not one that was asked for the purpose of starting a debate. So...

ChefMel,

There's a co-worker of mine that is very crafty when it comes to taking responsibilities and placing it on someone else's lap. While between two people, this act is neither appreciated nor accepted, between us and God, we're totally allowed, girl! I think you will find it such a relief to admit to God your complete powerlessness to save your sister, just as you prayed that about yourself. Take the pressure off of yourself and you'll find it easier to not be pushy or overbearing. Don't fear her interest in true science. Only pray that she will not be fooled into believing science with an agenda. Thinking and logic is not a bad thing. While God commends those who have faith, he does not take credit away from those who come to believe Him after examination. Many apologists came to Christ this way and have a very firm foundation because of it. Just might take a little longer getting there, but all in His time... I will pray for you and your sister today. God bless.

Answer 7

Definitely don't push her or threaten her with hell. It won't do any good. Try learning a little about Darwin's theory in the meantime. She is your sister so I don't know why you would have a hard time talking about your faith with her. Just don't go into the conversation with any expectations that she will change her mind.

Answer 8

Try going to the library and borrowing a book on Darwin and evolution. Finding out WHAT your sister believes is probably the first step to opening the lines of communication. Being able to converse with her about her beliefs shows you care enough to actually do some research. She will be more likely to respect you and listen to your opinion, as long as it is just an opinion and not a commandment.

As to how to bring it up, leave the book where she will find it and she may just bring it up herself. If not, ask her opinion on some facet of the theory.

Just be prepared for her to hold to her beliefs and respect her for it just as you expect respect for your beliefs.

Answer 9

She (hopefully) doesn't "believe" in Darwin's theory. Science is about facts, it is not a belief system, seriously try to understand the difference, as it will help you to understand her. Atheists tend to look at evidence rather than just accepting that something is true.

Edit:
Atheism is not a belief or a religion, it is simply not believing that any god or gods exist. As far as "Darwin's theory", it is more appropriately called "The Theory of Evolution". As an aid to help you understand it, I'm adding a link that shows various creationist claims and how they are answered by science. The comment above about Darwin recanting on his death bed is just one in a long line of "lies" or misconceptions that people state with out gettng their facts straight.

Answer 10

If you try to push a fifteen year old not only will you definitely put her off religion you also run the risk of alienating her too. Allow your sister to make her own choice. Nobodies going to hell - that's just what they tell you to keep you scared and giving them money. Why would you believe that anyone knows what happens to us when we die?