Where do I start? Ok so we invited my 4 yr old son's friend and his parents over for Thanksgiving and they were delighted to come join us. I asked the mom before hand if she and her family were allergic to anything or can't eat any foods. She said they can't chocolates or drink sodas but everything else they can eat. 2 days, we made a lot of food and cleaned up our place to make it comfortable for the guests. When the guests arrived, I welcomed the parents by hugging them and when I hugged the dad, the dad just stood there and didn't hug me back for some reason. This made me feel weird so I let it go.
I asked if they would like anything to drink or eat and they all ate (only a few foods) but the mom didn't want to eat anything or drink anything at all. I soon found out before I served her turkey that she didn't eat meat and she was a vegetarian. I wondered why she didn't tell me beforehand that she couldn't eat meat, so I could fix her something else besides turkey. Continued.....
2007-11-24 04:04:22 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Food & Drink ➔ Entertaining
Continued... The mother only ate but 2 tablespoons of mashed potatoes and sweet potatoes and then she wasn't hungry anymore. She didn't even want to taste the stuffing, green bean casserole, muffin and other non meat foods that we made. She didn't want to drink juice. She only took a sip of water. And she asked if she could take the rest home, if that's okay. I felt so offended that she didn't make an effort to eat.
I even played a little bit of piano but they didn't say any comments after I finished playing.
Then the mother asked me that I shouldn't worry about anything. It's the people thats more important than the food. She got her intuition wrong because I didn't have a reason to smile anymore because I tried to make the guests feel comfortable but I ran out of ideas. I packed plenty food for them so they could take it home.
when I hugged the guests goodbye thanked them, the dad the didn't reciprocate the hug, he just stood there clueless. He didn't even say goodbye.
2007-11-24 04:05:00 · update #1
I saw the dad before and I shook hands with him before but when they came over, I found it more appropriate to give them a hug this time, especially, when coming to our house.
I didn't receive a thank you note/email yet from these guests. Should I send them one?
2007-11-24 04:06:13 · update #2
Should YOU send THEM a thank you note?! Heck no! You have nothing to thank them for.
I wouldn't expect one from them, either. You hugged another woman's husband (three times) and got your feelings hurt over TG dinner. I realize it is a bit of an insult to attend someone's feast and not eat, but it's her perogative. Just let it roll of your back and don't invite them back for a meal. They sound a bit weird anyway.
2007-11-24 11:07:31 · answer #1 · answered by Sugar Pie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would send them a thank you note, as it is polite to do so, and you've obviously got good manners, even if theirs aren't quite up to scratch!
I wouldn't worry about the husband not hugging, as a lot of people don't show physical affection that freely, especially men!
As for the mom being vegetarian, she should have thought to tell you, and probably felt awful that it had slipped her mind when she saw all the trouble you'd gone to! That might explain why she couldn't eat much?!
She probably asked for some food to take home with her to try and save your feelings as she had been too churned up with guilt to eat very much with you!
Also, some foods such as stuffing do have meat derivatives in them, so that may be why she didn't try any of them?!
I really wouldn't worry about the day any more, as it sounds like you did everything you could to make them feel welcome, and there may be other reasons why they didn't relax as much as you'd expect, such as a serious problem that they'd just found out about before they set off, or that your house is much better than theirs, etc!
Send them a thank you note for coming, and say how lovely it was to have them there. See if they respond. They should do, but they might not,depending on both their manners, and how worried they are that you might expect them to invite you to their house!
I hope this helps!
2007-11-24 14:23:04 · answer #2 · answered by Watsit 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would send them a note that thanked them for coming and sharing the holiday with you. As for this father, some people don't hug. You were very kind to ask them over. I agree that the mother should have told you she didn't eat meat. It seems to me that they were not very good guests. I don't know if I would ask them over anymore.
2007-11-24 12:27:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it was pretty tacky of her to ask to take food home! If she couldn't eat it at your house, then why should she take any home? If YOU had offered to send food home with her, then that is different. You were wrong in hugging them. A simple handshake would have been best. Do NOT send a thank you note. You were the hostess, not the guest. I would think twice before inviting them again to a meal.
2007-11-24 20:04:26 · answer #4 · answered by dalbax2 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, you should not send a 'thank you' note. That would be incorrect. You were the hostess, you are the one who receives 'thank you' notes. Your 'thank you' occurs at the foyer when you welcome your guests with a "Thank you for coming." As for not having yet received one from them, it is awfully early to be worrying about that. If, after a week, you still haven't received a note - then consider it a faux pas on their part and let it go.
The awkward moment where you hugged the dad and got no hug in return tells me that he is either not a 'hugger' or he did not yet feel comfortable enough with you to hug you back. A guest is never obligated to return a hug, if it makes him/her uncomfortable.
That brings me to my next (and most important) point. The very definition of good host/hostess is one who succeeds at making his/her guests welcome and at ease. It sounds as if you did your very best at accomodating their needs. You even supplied a special plate for a vegetarian. The best thing to have done was to do your best as a hostess and, not finding fault with your meal, manners or atmosphere, enjoy yourself and your guests' company. There was no need to lose your smile or feel unhappy about the evening. You were entertaining unfamiliar guests who were less than effusive in their manners. A good host never behaves as if his guests are not wonderful.
Your guests SHOULD have told you about being vegetarian (she was certainly given the chance, and who on earth would not expect turkey on Thanksgiving?) They SHOULD send you a 'thank you' within a reasonable amount of time. They SHOULD return the invitation and have your family over.
You SHOULD consider your evening a success. You SHOULD NOT expect every single guest to behave as if he/she is thrilled to be in your company. It sounds to me as if your evening was just lovely, I'm sure they thought it was, though they didn't convey their feelings well.
Relax about them, I'm sure future relations will become more fun and easy.
2007-11-24 12:30:11 · answer #5 · answered by artistagent116 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
That's really odd. Umm.... At first I was thinking no don't send one, but the more I read, yeah, send one. It may be easier to just quick send them an email if you can just like Hey, I want to thank you guys for coming to Thanksgiving. If you can't send an email send a note. It may break the ice a little more. Good Luck!
2007-11-24 12:43:13 · answer #6 · answered by gilmore94 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
send them a thank you note
2007-11-24 12:08:51 · answer #7 · answered by Michael S 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋