can a person get hiv by doing oral sex but not swallowing the stuff?

Answer 1

Yes. It doesn't matter if a person swallows the semen or not.

If the person receiving oral sex has HIV, their blood, semen, pre-seminal fluid, or vaginal fluid may contain the virus. Cells lining the mouth of the person performing oral sex may allow HIV to enter their body.
http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/qa/qa19.htm

Take care!