I am the first stop in a progressive type dinner party for about 25 people and I'm at odds with the host,help!

Question

I am new to my neighborhood and I have offered my house this year for a progressive type dinner party. It is not a fancy affair, so it will not be a sit down dinner. I was told finger foods and drinks. Since I am the first house of three, I thought it would be appropriate to have cold types of appetizers such as devilled eggs, crackers and cheese, cold cuts, etc. The person that is organizing the event called me and basically told me what I should be making, like hot foods and proceeded to list off things like chicken wings and meatballs. I did not tell her what I had planned on making and am now insulted that she is telling me what I should be making, especially since I am paying for the food and drinks I serve. Is she correct in suggesting that I serve hot foods? Shouldn't the main meat course be the second house? She told me the third house is having desserts and cheeses.

Thanks everyone! I feel much better sticking to my guns BrandieB and just forgiven are right...it's my home and I'm paying for the food and drinks. I think I may include one hot item. I have already decided on Bruschetta, devilled eggs, and perhaps a cheese log with an assortment of crackers. I will add mini meatballs with marinara sauce for dipping. For drinks ...wine and beer and a non alcoholic punch for now. What do you think?

Answer 1

The lady is probably just nervous and wants to be sure her dinner party is a hit, but you are right. You have the ultimate say in what you serve. Cheese is often served as dessert, so that part makes sense. I think maybe you should call her and ask what the second house is serving. Tell her that you were looking over your menu and you are afraid you will ruin everyone's appetites with a heavy first course, so you're going to lighten the dishes a little. I wouldn't phrase this as a question. Say it firmly, but not confrontationally--you are making sure you don't step on any other cooks' toes by stealing the show.

I have a friend who's great at these kinds of things. She just says exactly what she is going to do and why, without it seeming personal. She just sounds rational and completely reasonable and that's hard to argue with.

But you should be ready to compromise by accepting a dish or two from your organizer's ideas. Even say that you hadn't thought of it before (a hint to her that you did have your own plans) and that you think those dishes will really compliment the rest of the meal. Plus, hot foods are great in cold weather (which you are probably experiencing unless you live way south).

Good luck and don't stress too much. :)

Tessa Somers
www.professionalhomebar.com

Answer 2

I did this in highschool. Basically you get a group of friends and pick which meal will be at which person's house. Set a time limit for each meal so that way it doesn't last all night (unless you want it to) In highschool we started off at one person's house with appetizers, once everyone was done (about an hour( we drove to the second house for the main course which was already prepared because someone's mom had cooked it. After we ate dinner we then piled in the cars again to go to the final house for dessert. It really just depends on how many courses you wanna have. Also, if no one is going to have the meals prepared such as the main course, you may want to pick something quick and easy to make like tacos or spaghetti, that way you guys arent't sitting there starving. It was really fun when we did it about 7 years ago, so have fun!

Answer 3

I agree wings and things are a little heavy and people will either stuff themselves at your house or "save the best for last" and hold off till they get to the last house or whatever. Why don't you serve what is usually served during the first course? since soup and salad are usually served first, then why don't you do that? Make a real big salad and a big ole pot of soup/ chili. Serve coffee (with a little bit of spike) or other drinks that they will enjoy. I wouldn't go all out with the liquor because they will be driving to other places (if they are walking, then by all means let the libations flow!!).
I find that when you are hosting a lot of people, it is a lot more economical and easier to have "pots " of things rather than trying to make individual bite size portions of things. We did a soup and salad party that people are still talking about! The the zappata toscana soup recipe (Olive garden) on topsecretrecipes.com

Answer 4

Actually, you're both right! Appetizers often include hot and cold items, but it should be your decision since you are hosting that part of the meal. Perhaps she was offering you a list of items that have been hits in the past when they've done this, since you're the new kid on the block so to speak. How about a compromise? Here are some ideas:

1. Cheese and crackers with fresh grapes
2. Spinach dip in bread bowl
3. Mini cocktail weiners wrapped in crescent rolls
etc.

Answer 5

I would do what YOU want to do. It doesn't seem like you should be told. Don't be confrontational about it. When you see her at the party, just say you had alreay made your list of what you would bring. But I would consider some sort of hot appetizer... certainly not cold cuts. But I think, esp. for something like that, it should definitely be things you make, even if it's something simple. Here's a cocktail meatball recipe that's always a hit. If you have a chafing dish, that would be grat, if not... just make sure you serve it hot:

COCKTAIL MEATBALLS & HOTDOGS
Ingredients
Chafing dish & sterno
toothpicks

lg. pkg (or 2 pkgs) hotdogs* (don’t use the kind that plump when ya cook ‘em!)
Meatballs
2-3 lbs. gr. beef
2 tsp fresh garlic – crushed
salt & pepper
2 eggs (1 egg/lb. of gr. beef)
1 tbs. parsley

Sauce
2/3 to 1 cup grape jelly
2 lg. bottles barbecue sauce
Salt & pepper to taste
sm. can tomato sauce (Optional)
2 tbs garlic powder
2-3 tbs brown sugar
1 tsp. dry mustard
water if desired for volume and desired thickness

Directions
1. In a large pot or Dutch oven, mix all sauce ingredients
2. In large bowl, mix all ingredients for meatballs thoroughly with hands
3. Roll mixture into approx. 1” balls
4. Add meatballs and hot dog pcs. to sauce and cover
5. Cook on low heat (light boil) for a minimum of 2 hours. Stir occasionally.
6. Keep warm until ready to serve. Place in chafing dish and keep warm with sterno
7. Place on table with container of toothpicks and cocktail napkins and small plates

* You could certainly use cocktail franks for this recipe, but they are MUCH more expensive than cutting up a few pkgs. of hot dogs.
* If you don't have a chafing dish, just make sure you serve this dish hot in an attractive serving piece/bowl.

Answer 6

Your right on with the appetizers. they can be hot or cold, it depends on the host. I would just make what YOU like and can afford, and thank her for her suggestions. If she doesn't like what you serve, let it be her problem. I am not trying to be nasty, but this is your home, and while it wouldn't hurt to listen to her suggestions, you should have the say so in what you make and serve! good luck.

Answer 7

She was probably thinking a bit fancier on the appetizers, but do what you want with the understanding that you may or may not be invited to participate again. I'd probably have gone with a mix of both hot and cold.

Answer 8

Tell her your idea and don't be afraid to. It may also be important that all that are organizing the event get together maybe a third party will help. 3 way calling helps. I have been in your shoes. Good luck

Answer 9

I think what you are doing is great! I wouldn't change a thing...tell her that if she doesn't like it then she can go to the next house or buy the food and do it herself! I would be delighted to show up and find your menu ready to eat! Sounds like you have your head on straight and she needs to lighten up! Good luck and stick to your guns!

Answer 10

you don't want to overstuff your guests with wings and meatballs plus you don't want it to be too "everyday". I think it would be better to go hot and cold. here are some cheap and easy ideas I came up with for you:
http://www.grouprecipes.com/sr/26641/krab-salad/recipe/
try serving this on lettuce leaves
http://www.rachaelrayshow.com/food/recipes/tomato-herb-bruschetta/
serve in small casserole with toasted bread rounds
and for cocktails, 1 part starbucks frappucino and 1 part vodka shaken with ice served in martini glasses or plastic disposable champagne cups
You'll find that this will be light and fancy enough to wow your guests and show that woman you don't need to be told what to make.