If a person have girlfriend who have alcoholic problem, will u stay together or leave girlfriend or dont know?

Answer 1

First, are you seeing someone who drinks too much at a party, but in all other parts of her life remains sober? This may show a tendency to drink, but such a person is not an alcoholic.

An alcoholic can be a wonderful person when sober, but almost anything else when drunk, and an alcoholic does not drink only at an occasional party, but frequently, and they drink excessively, almost always with the intent to "feel a little better". The drinking becomes a habit, and they become dependent on the effects of alcohol to get them through the day, or night .

As a friend you can only be blunt and state you see the problem.

This may appear to cause your friend some upset, but nothing else will be of any use. If your friend chooses to do something about the alcoholism, you can then be supportive, and give encouragement to personal improvement as sobriety becomes your friend's normal state again. This is what a true friend is, and does.

A true friend will also not accept that she must do nothing, even though the alcoholic person is the sole person who can actually change anything.

Bluntly stated, if your friend chooses to continue drinking, then you must accept that the alcohol means more to her than you do. This may change in the future, but it will not change until and unless she and she alone chooses to make that change.




Personal experience:

As the habit progresses over time, you become less and less important to the alcoholic, while her friendship with the alcohol increases.


The hardest part of living with an alcoholic is accepting that it matters not at all that she cares for you: she cares more for the alcohol.

Until and unless she chooses to stop drinking her habit will take your relationship down, and then still further down. If you were to have a family, the alcoholic will take you and your family down a dark road.


A common mistake for both friends and family members is to blame the alcohol. The problem is not the alcohol: it is that the the person CHOOSES to consume it.

Alcoholism may be called a disease, or a habit, but it remains true that the first drink of every day is taken by choice.


A promise that she will stop drinking at some future moment or after some future event is worthless, no matter how sober she may be when saying it.

A promise to stop means the promise takes effect as of that minute or not at all.

The very next time she takes a drink after that, no matter whether it happens a day, a week or a month later, the promise is broken and she is back to where she started, but you are taken downhill.

If you are close to the person, it WILL hurt you.





Alcoholism is a curious problem. some call it a disease, instead of a habit, and they quote medical science to support this, the science showing how alcohol affects the molecules that link inside the brain, and alter the synapses that allow you to think.

They are correct, but alcoholism remains curious because it is the only "disease" that the "sick" person can cure by themselves, not by doing anything at all, but by stopping what they have been doing.

It is a disease that alcoholics can cure by making a choice: they can choose to stop drinking, and then choose to never drink again.

The moment the drinking stops, they are on the way to being cured. If they stop it, and never drink alcohol again, then whether or not any changes in the brain would make them susceptible to alcohol in the future becomes irrelevant.

Control of the "disease" / "habit" is by personal choice alone.



My own experience with alcoholics has seen some people cease the drinking and dramatically improve their lives. It has also seen my wife remain in denial for years, despite many visits to psychologists, psychiatrists and even a dry-out clinic forced on her at a doctor's threat of taking away her driving license.

She finally chose to stop drinking when she realized the divorce was really happening, and she chose to stay sober for a year.

Sadly, she made her personal choice to re-adopt the "disease" after the divorce became final.

What I learned from years of seeing and living with alcoholism is that alcoholism tends to get progressively worse over time, and it will inevitably damage family and friends, even if they never participate in the habit. The damage that the alcoholic person causes to family and friends can be deep, and enduring: it may last and haunt you for many years.

Many people are affected negatively by alcoholism, but there is never more than only one person who is directly responsible for it, and only that one person can "cure" the problem. That person is the alcoholic herself. She must choose her own cure.


Until your alcoholic friend's choice is made her future will be measured in ounces, not hours.


If your friend chooses to continue drinking, then the answer to your query is one word:

L E A V E .


.

Answer 2

This is a terrible situation for everyone involved - especially the dog since he has no options. If she's willing to sell her Iphone at the park for drinking money, offer her a few dollars for the dog. Just be sure she signs a receipt so she can't say she doesn't remember selling the dog. Your friend is an individual and has free will - the dog does not. She's also been to rehab and apparently that's done nothing for her, and you've been unable to help her. The problem is with addictions, the addict has to be the one to want to clean up for themselves. Your friend apparently hasn't hit rock bottom yet. So, for now, try to get the dog out of the situation - no sense ruining his life. Giver her a few dollars for the dog and get on with your life. Offer your friend all the help she needs, but she has to WANT the help. Added to this that her boyfriend is an enabler, and you've got a deadly combination. I don't offer this advice lightly. I "had" a good friend who became addicted to drugs (and unfortunately still is). At one point, after MANY years, I had to cut and run. I tried everything and still was unable to help her. She nearly took me down with her. Just get the dog some way and try to move on. It's tough, and you may even have to accept that your friend is a lost cause. I hope not - but it has to come from inside HER to get better. Good luck! ADD: If she doesn't need money, why was she selling her Iphone at the park and why will she have no place to live if her boyfriend kicks her out? If she doesn't need money, these things shouldn't be necessary. But, you've already called RSPCA and apparently they weren't too concerned. As long as the dog appears healthy and is fed, watered and provided with shelter, they may well do nothing again. If you can buy or somehow get the dog from her, it doesn't mean you have to keep it, but you could find a good home for it.

Answer 3

depends how long they have been together how much they casre and love that person, my father was a alcoholic and i can honestly say my mother endured 47yrs to this man, with no intentions of leaving or seeking solance with another man, if thats not love then i guess i dont know alcohol addiction is a illness, you can damage your liver, other organs doing it, but, you can also die coming off it too, because the body accepts it as a food, hope it helps.

Answer 4

Well, u have to c the good sides & the bad of ur girlfriend!
If u think that the alcohlic problem won't effect ur life with her then go on, however, if u think that it would affect ur life & u wouldnt be able to handle her properly then leave her or talk her out of it or at least to control her drinking, make it less!

Answer 5

I was just in the same situation. Try to be their friend (from a didtance) it's a battle for them for the rest of their lives. My "friend" is going through depression and paramoia right now. I have 2 kids and don't want them to be around this at all. Leave now before you get to involved and Pray for them. That is all you can do. An addict can only help themselves when they reach their bottom and you don't know where their bottom is...... Run and God Bless

Answer 6

I have had one girl where I tried to stay. But it got to be too much.

If you can bear the pain and if you really love the girl, stay ... but be aware that it is going to continue to be painful. But alcoholics can kick the habit.

If you are not happy to commit to such a course, you'd better leave.

Answer 7

if she is already your girlfriend i would not leave her, you need to try and help her that is if you really love her. have a discussion together as to what can you do about it. one way is to seek professional advise then if nothing works out then i am afraid you need to start thinking about yourself. if she wants to waste her life, do not waste yours...but you have to be at peace that you have tried your best to help her

Answer 8

Well darlin', I'd be on my way out the door. Be honest without being hurtful, and just tell her that because you perceive she is consuming an excessive amount of alcohol on a regular basis, you suggest she enroll in a addiction program. But please, refrain from trying to rescue her.

Answer 9

If she drinks the last beer in the fridge, she has to go. If she brings home a 12 pack and there was beer already there- she stays.

Answer 10

i think you shouldnt leave the girlfriend, because instead of making her life worse, you could be there to help her through it and help her become a better person for herself and you.