What's wrong with me?

Question

I'm a girl in my early twenties. and lately I have been feeling very un happy. I know I have a lot to be grateful for but i just feel really down. I met a guy who I thought was nice but that has turned out to be a mess. I noticed that I always seem to meet guys who use my insecurities againt me. The last one told me I was a sad lonely girl with no friends. He always made comments that I was hanging out with one particular friend in general and that I was tagging along with her and her freinds. I don't really have loads of friends and this is something that hs always gotten me down. I always seem to have bad in my life especially with realtionships. I don't really think I am a bad person but I never seem to be able to get it right. I feel very insecure and low and am doubting if my life is worth living. THEY SAY GOD CARES but I don't think he even lsitens to me cos if he did my life would not be so MISRABLE!

I always eem to get into relationships where I am rude to guys try to make ammends then they become really nasty and verbally abusive and meke me feel WORTHLESS!

Answer 1

Well, if you initiate hostilities to men that you barely know, they are going to (by nature) return the hostility.

There is no god, once you get over this concept of god, then your relationships will be more at ease.

Answer 2

God doesn't promise anybody a rose garden and then those that finally do get one will eventually realize it comes with some thorns. God cares enough to allow us freedom to choose so he can't step in and intervene when we start dating the wrong person. Just because we meet them and they seem interested in us does not mean they are right for us. So you need to shoulder some of the blame for who you went out with.

Also, maybe some guys that mentioned your weakness may not have tried to be mean. They may have been curious or been trying to help, regardless of how it came out. We guys are notorious for foot-in-mouth disease because we have a hard time understanding you. So don't take it so hard when somebody points out a weakness. Look at that as a chance for improvement so you can be happier and more successful.

Also, see if you can do something about the no friends thing. Try to help people with things, like help a coworker move, listen to another girl's problems, offer to babysit for a mother looking for a break, or just ask another girl at work to go shopping with you, like the day after Thanksgiving. They will appreciate your help probably be your friend to talk to and when you need help, like if your car breaks down and you need a ride.

Answer 3

Dear Sarah,

God bless you! You sound like a wonderful, intelligent, sensitive, and caring young woman. God does care, and He does love you, but perhaps there is something going on with you that He wants to address with you.

I know you have already asked God for His help; please know that I am doing the same, OK? Together, you and He can get through anything.

Sarah, when was the last time you had an annual physical examination? I want you to schedule a visit with a good physician, and tell her/him what you have told us. In addition to all the routine medical exams, your doctor should ask you about your nutrition, sleep, exercise, activities, work, and family issues. If he/she doesn't make you feel that you are being thoroughly checked, go to another doctor, until you find one who really takes the time with you to find out what's at the bottom of all this.

I notice that we are in the autumn, when the days are shorter and darker, and the dark longer. Many people suffer from SADD, seasonal-affective disorder, and lose their pep and energy when fall comes. Sometimes they feel worse than that. There are treatments, such as light therapy, that can be tremendously helpful. A good friend of mine recently began using light therapy, and he swears by it. You might ask your doctor about this.

Your doctor might also recommend short-term mild medication to help stabilize your mood, Sarah. Many people have been helped in this way.

Your doctor may also recommend a few visits with a counselor or a social worker to talk over some of the feelings and issues you have described. If you and your doctor agree that this might be helpful, please definitely take action on this.

I can't tell you how much my life changed - in unimaginable ways - after I began attending meetings of the Al-Anon program. This is a fellowship of men and women who are bothered by someone else's drinking (or drug abuse). It is a free program, and completely anonymous - cofidential. It is against their "code" to "out" you if you go to their meetings. I don't know if you have a relative, parent, brother, sister, friend who seems to have, or once had, a problem with alcohol or substances, but these kinds of issues can really impact an entire extended family and everybody in it. If alcohol or substance abuse has touched anyone in your life, and today you are feeling down or disconnected, please consider giving a few meetings of Al-Anon a try.

Not everybody has scads of friends. My niece, whom I dearly love, and I, are the quiet, reserved type. We get along well with everybody, but we always have just a couple of close friends. This is perfectly normal for many people. My husband and I have been happily married for twenty years, and we are truly "best friends." Sometimes people with just a few dear friends can be the best and truest friends of all.

Hang in there, Sarah. I'm thinking about you, and praying for you!

Love,

Catherine V.

Answer 4

First of all, as I read your question, I get the feeling that you listen to what other people say about you. I used to be like that. Whatever other people said about me I believed and took to heart. There is nothing wrong with you. So what if you don't have many friends. Is there a rule that says you have to have alot of friends or you have something wrong with you? My oldest daughter was like you when it came to men. She always seemed to end up with these men that were trouble, that cheated on her or used her for money or who were just abusive to her self esteem. That still doesn't mean you have anything wrong with you. That just means you didn't meet the right man yet. My advice to you is to stop listening to the negativity of your friends. Believe in yourself and as far as your happiness goes, as a Christian I have come to know that true joy does come from having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Just tell Him you're a sinner and invite Him into your heart and you are saved. That is all you have to do to become a Christian. The bible says that no one can come to God except through Jesus. I wish you the best.

Answer 5

Bugger... I'm no professional here, and more to the point I'm a bloke, so my advice will probably be pretty dodgy, but it sounds like you have really low self esteem.
You're not a bad person. I can't say if you're attracted to bad men or not, but you really are pretty down on yourself.
Be careful about turning to god to help you. That generally comes with a whole lot of other baggage you probably don't want to deal with.
My suggestion is to hang out with people you like, who like you. Get some new clothes, do yourself up. Don't go looking for a relationship. In fact, the next guy who tries to pick you up, just fob him off for the hell of it. It's a little cruel, but you'll feel better for doing it.

Answer 6

Not good to be unhappy, but maybe you should not concern yourself with a relationship just yet. Having a lot of friends is no where near as good as having one or two TRUE friends, trust me on this. I only have 4 people in my life that I would count as friends, but I know these people would fly half-way around the world to get to me if I say I needed them to be there. Having 50 friends that are only interested in you when times are good and leave when times are tough, is just the same as not having friends at all.

Sorry, kind of went on a rant about the defintion of friendship there.

Also, don't try to validate your life by having a relationship, let that part of your wanting go. Usually it is when you are not trying to find the right person in your life, is when they will enter.

Later,


Mighty Macabros

Answer 7

Hello Sara, you should ignor what you last chap said about you he is not worth it. Anyway it is up to you who your friends are not him.
I do not think that you are a bad person.
You know that one day you will meet the right person, but it might take a long time befor you get there. Just hange in there and everything will work out in the end! & Stick with your friends.

Answer 8

Theres nothing wrong with you! Nearly every woman in her early twenties feels like you. I'm 56 but I once felt like you. The way to stop feeling sad is to look outside yourself. Always be kind, generous and a good friend, but at the same time be strong and confident. Make sure you are independent, financially and mentally. Find out what your dream is and go for it with all your heart. (A quick way of finding out what your dream is, is to visualise yourself in five or ten years. Try to imagine what, ideally, you would like to look like and be like and what your friends, lovers, etc would be like and look like - then aim for that in reality. Visualise this everyday and plan how you can attain your goals). You will find, that after a while, nice guys will be attracted to your positive attitude and the horrible ones wont bother you. Good luck

Answer 9

you don't judge your worth by other people; ;first mistake; you grow by giving of yourself and your talents; you are young and a long life to live; think of your bad choices as an investment in your future, you learn from it and move on; don't let anyone steal nor give away your life thunder!! Be faithful, pray and help God's children and you will be protected and rewarded in God's time and better than you can imagine ; a seed grows in good soil not on rocky ground. Don't try so hard and you will find the right one; until then; help others

Answer 10

I know how you feel- I was feeling the same, no one calls me you met guys who turn out to have girlfriends and only want to have sex with you and feel like you hardly have any friends. The best thing you can do, is to keep thinking positive about yourself- ask your friends what they love about you. What do you like about yourself? Make a list and put it up on your wall and remind yourself why you're a great person.
Best thing you can do now is keep working on yourself esteem.
Guys hate girls with no self esteem. When you're on your self esteem think about the type of guys you see. NEVER let any man say things like that to you. No wonder you're mean to them when they are try making amends. Maybe they're making amends because they really like you and felt like they shouldn't have been mean to you in the first place.
Some guys think they can use our weakness against us- so work on them show them they can't.
Good luck! Ps you can use religion to make yourself feel better, but do you really believe God is out there? Its your choice if so, meet someone who knows about it and go through it and show you what God believes xx

Answer 11

Why would a deity waste his time helping the social life of one of four-billion followers?

The god you've mentioned does not care about anything except that your obey him, and never choose your own wil over his.

Oh, and don't pay the ushers at Church!

Don't you remember from the bible when Simon tries to buy the blessing, and he is chased away and called a heretic?

Try that. Don't pay the ushers so thinking you will be healed for it. The church is heretical in that facet.