The Man Code......Add your own please?

Question

The Man Code
• Thou shall not rent the movie Chocolat.
• Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella.
• Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.
• When you are queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.
• Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
• You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call BULLSHIT (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent).
• If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.
• The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 babe scale.
• Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddy's refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.
• No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a friend's birthday is strictly optional and slightly gay.
• Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty.
• Before dating a buddy's "ex", you are required to ask his permission and he in return is required to grant it.
• Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.
• If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem. *You* didn't see nothin'.
• The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.
• A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.
• When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
• When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiny friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you'll be able to warn your buddy and give him time to prepare excuses about joining the priesthood.
• It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and a supermodel delivers it... and it's free.
• Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
• A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
• If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good ***-whoopin", then you may sit back and enjoy.
• Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.
• If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.
• Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal footing: either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need.
• If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him...too gay.

Answer 1

u get worse 10/10

Answer 2

Because you don't get to the point of being called a successful landowner, without watching where your money goes. Hence being Conservative. Men more so than women, place a solid value on material things such as land. We see land as an investment rather than a homestead as most women see it. I know it sounds sexist but it is the truth. As for the White part, I honestly couldn't say one way or the other. But could theorize that white men had a headstart, a few generations back during times of slavery and segregation. This number should diminish over the next several generations, as we continue to move past racism.

Answer 3

when using a urinal you must keep one urinal distance between u and the other guy, if thats the last one left, you wait.

When the nextdoor neighbour who is a single parent and also a MILF of highest proportions hangs her sexiest knickers on the washing line, she is flirting with you FACT

When a button fails to work on any electronic device (tv remote control for example) you will always press it harder and with more vigour hoping this overcome the problem

Answer 4

Funny! 10!

Answer 5

Haha-thinking of ways to get you back for that patch joke!!!! lol

Answer 6

hahaha.10/10.

Answer 7

lolz

Answer 8

Rofl, omg, FUNNY!!!

Answer 9

*gg*

old, but still amusing