My exhusband and i have a 8 month old son together. During my pregnancy, he never helped out 1 bit financially. Our divirced was finalized when i was 7 months preggo. I DID NOT list his name as the father on birth certificate for a reason. I allowed him to come stay with me to "help out" while i was on maternity leave from work and i ended up getting pregnant again. I kicked him out since i was paying ALL the bills and he couldnt keep a steady job except day labor work. I work full time as a hairdresser, I maintain insurance for myself and my children and i receive NO assistance from the state. He on the other hand has does not have a stable to live. Bounces from hotel rooms, to renting rooms, to even sleeping in his car. And no, he isnt a crackhead, just a friggin deadbeat. I have not pursued child support cause it scares me for him to get visitation. He cant even take care of himself (he's 35 years old), he truly has the characteristics of a schizophreniac. Do i have any hope??
2007-11-14 18:22:05 · 6 answers · asked by Suzy R. 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He has never bought anything for my son. Keep in mind i am having his other child in 4 months so im gonna need alot more financially from him. He does have a bachelor's degree i forgot to add and he is physiaclly capable of working a good job, but he is lazy. He recently quit a job cause he thought child support was after him, so he IS avoiding paying by using the excuse that he doesnt have a job. I have had a situation where he babysat my son while oi was at work and he left my him in the car while he ran into the grocery store when he was 5 months old. Since then i never allowed him to watch my son alone. Another reason why it scares me to let him go off with him.
2007-11-14 18:30:19 · update #1
to the lady who commented that i put my children up for adoption is totally out of the question. Please re-read my post...I PROVIDE MY CHILDRENS INSURANCE THRU MY WORK, CLOTHING, ETC... they are NOT in a crappy household. I am not someone just getting pregnant with kids and living off the government. I have an excellent family and I do well for myself, so suggesting i do something such as adopting my kids out is NOT an option in my case.
2007-11-14 20:08:43 · update #2
Child support is not pay for visitation. It is for support of the child, and does not automatically entitle him to visitation. That is a separate issue which he would have to pursue in court if he wanted it.
Also: check the guidelines in your state. No attempt to provide support or make contact with a child for X amount of time is usually considered legal abandonment.
Edit: A judge is not going to care whether or not he is employed. He will tell him he has a certain amount of days to get a job, or go to jail.
2007-11-14 18:29:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Apply for public aid. With a 1-parent, 2-child home, you should be below the limit. There is nothing wrong with being on assistance. Food stamps pay your groceries, Medicaid pays your docs visits and medications, hospital visits, and they'll pay for all prenatal and maternity care. Medicaid can be used as a supplementary assistance that will pay your copays and coinsurance. Cash assistance gives you extra money for your household, but they do check your bank records.
These benefits were put in place to help people - regardless of whether you are too proud to take it, they are in place for a reason. Go apply asap.
Drop the deadbeat...he will be of no benefit to your children and will probably cause more stress that you do not need. Good luck to you in your situation.
2007-11-14 19:14:05 · answer #2 · answered by Lauren 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please, make an appt. with an attorney on family law asap. Make a list of questions/concerns you have, to let the attorney know what has been going on.
I didn't trust my exh with our child, who was a baby, and the attorney I had started with a couple of hours of visitation, slowly increasing time as the child got older.
I truly wish you the best for you and your little ones. Take care.
2007-11-14 20:40:29 · answer #3 · answered by SAK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
** Keep your children safe - that's the most important thing!
Unfortunately, you picked the wrong guy to get pregnant with - so even if you applied for child support you would never collect AND he would still get visitation even if he didn't pay child support (a court allows visitation for fathers that don't pay).
So, be a big girl, admit that you made a HUGE mistake in having 2 babies with this guy - apply for state assistance or do the most selfless thing you could do and put your children up for adoption so that they can have a better life.
2007-11-14 18:50:30 · answer #4 · answered by Dina K 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
you don't have to allow visitation. you don't even have to talk to him. put the obvious aside (the fact that it isn't safe), his name isn't on the birth certificate. you don't HAVE to allow visitation at all.
the trouble is, you don't get child support. looks like you won't anytime soon either. cut him loose babe. i moved 3000 miles away to get away from my son's deadbeat father. no visitation. you don't have to. relax, and don't worry. worst comes to worst, a judge will agree with you. don't worry!
2007-11-14 18:29:42 · answer #5 · answered by getagrip 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could request supervised visitation only at a neutral location.
2007-11-14 18:26:16 · answer #6 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋