an old boyfriend of mine recently got married. we are still close friends and talk a few times a week. although i've known him for over five years, he's really secretive and i feel like he could have another identity and i wouldn't know. after never hearing one word about a new girl he told me he was engaged. i supported him and gave him a hug and a "way to go". shortly after that, i'm at his house and see this photo album with his wedding pictures. he admit's he's actually already married. this girl was not a citizen and so they had a secret wedding. weird. then this week i found out she lives in jersey (we live in PA) she lives ina different state. does anyone else think this all sounds fishy? i love him to death and don't intend to tell him how to live his life. but can't help but think he's nuts.
2007-11-14 18:17:38 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
and yes...we're totally over eachother and i've dated other guys.
2007-11-14 18:18:31 · update #1
lol, geese Houyhnhnm, must have taken quite a while to type all that nonsense up. honestly, i don't think i'm being nosey or unreasonable at all. we're friends, we're pretty close, i won't pressure him to tell me everything that goes on in his life, but it is a little startling when somone that you talk to and feel like you knw so well keeps popping up these unexpected secrets. say your best friend casually mentions one day "oh yeah, i'm engaged" and then later you find an album with wedding photo's. you'd be a little weirded out too. i'm not mad about not being invited, from the pics, you could tell it was just them and his parents. more than anything, it bothers me that he doesn't open up to friends (none of his friends) i think i could be a more supportive friend if he weren't so secretive, it can't be healthy to live that way.
2007-11-14 19:17:13 · update #2
When you love somebody it does not matter what and who she were. This perfectly normal.
2007-11-14 18:32:53 · answer #1 · answered by Wai Choong Shum 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In the movie "Familia", an American guy marries a refugee he doesn't know because if she's deported she'll be hunted by death squads or something like that. That's one fairly benign explanation I can come up with.
I think it's more likely his emotional disturbance is getting more severe, since you've indicated he was already pathologically secretive. Some kind of distant relationship might suit his needs if all he wants is someone to bear his children, for example.
Another possibility is he's hiding criminal activity. Maybe they're working some scam that requires her to be a legal resident, or she somehow has money and paid him to marry her so she could live in the US.
Or maybe he's totally normal to everyone else and just hides everything from you. It could be a totally healthy marriage and she's going to move to his house next week and he doesn't want to tell you a thing about it (and didn't want ex-girlfriends embarrassing him at the wedding).
2007-11-14 18:49:41 · answer #2 · answered by Houyhnhnm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I fail to see anything "weird" about it. It's not uncommon for someone to marry a non citizen who happens to live in another state.
2007-11-14 18:23:30 · answer #3 · answered by jdhs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Normal.
2007-11-14 18:22:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He got married for 10-25K and has to keep looking legal for awhile.
You sound like you like more than he knows, it is best you and him start being honest with each other, start from that.
2007-11-14 18:28:08 · answer #5 · answered by izzie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It wouldnt matter, its his life.
2007-11-14 18:21:28 · answer #6 · answered by Water 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so he turned gay ?!?
2007-11-14 18:25:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋