'Should I', 'He/She's not (or won't)', 'What do I do'.....?

Question

WHY do people stay in relationships with Cheating, violence, neglect and question themselves? Especially if you aren't happy and need to ask someone else's opinion and yet you KNOW you are going to stay with that person.. what is your hang up about moving on? What comfort is there in an unhappy, immature relationship, over choosing to be happy being single? At least if you are single & have your pride.. there is potential to BE happy with yourself, instead of being STUCK unhappy with 'them'!?!?

I am a little over 12.. like 20 years over it, LOL.. .. but this question applies to all ages & sexes, from my daughter to my mother.. It's just curiosity on common sense & human nature.. no offense intended

Answer 1

It always amazes me. The excuses people in relationships like these come up with are beyond belief. "He was just angry. He won't hit me again." "My mom loves me. She didn't mean to burn me with her cigarette." "She really didn't love that other man. She just needed a change, and it won't happen again."

Personally, I can't imagine remaining in a relationship of ANY kind with circumstances like these. I realize there are 'bad times' in any relationship, but hitting, cheating, and emotional abuse are NEVER okay.

Answer 2

This really pertains to the individual. For instance kids. I think most people don't want change. Even in an uncomfortable relationship one finds comfort in having someone and finding a new person can be hard as it often requires a lot of change. For instance they may have to move back with mom and dad. They think it is more trouble than it is worth. Self esteem plays a role too. Someone who is confident may be quicker to leave and start new. Some people think they can change a person and want to stay together. It can be hard to throw away something you put so much time and effort into. It is usually harder to leave a first love. Depression can cause people to think they will never find another. It is good to slowly persuade someone to break up, and friends are very important. In a long term relationship friends can be lost and the feeling of having no one can be overwhelming. Once they are broke up they need friends for support and need to get out of the house. Friends need to be there for them and get their mind off the person for a while and be understanding and supportive.

Answer 3

Obviously you are too young to understand. Some women are very insecure because their mates tell them that they are worthless. They feel unworthy of anyone that would truly love them, because they have bee convinced that no one could possbily ever have any love or respect for them. It is almost as if they are brain-washed. Sometimes it comes from how their mother was treated, or from a very tramatic or weak moment in their lives.

It is much more than just a choice that they need to make. It is actually a whole new life for them. God bless those that have the strength to get out, and God help those that are still wondering how they can get out of it.

Answer 4

You're so right. Though it's interesting reading people's dilemmas on here.

I guess for them it's a relief just to be able to talk about it. Although most people don't take anyone's advice and just stick to the bad relationship. Ah well, at least they had a chance to nut it out - but they chose the bad road in the end.

Answer 5

People blame them selfs because they feel responsible for their girl or boy to acting that way although 90% of them are not. It could also b that they believe they will get better. It could be fear or religious reasons.

Answer 6

when u re older than 12 years u will understand. now u re a young chicken, so stay out of adult business