I'm 21, and I'm still feeling like a child. I do have more responsibilities now. My gf and my mom somehow want me to take care of them and to be the man for them. Since my father, in my opinion, is a rather idle man and wasnt very manly at all, I would say he is not the role model I want. I just want to ask you, what do you think I should do to become a more successful adult, and a more reliable man for my family?
Thank you~
2007-11-14 16:46:11 · 6 answers · asked by landzai 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Additional background details:
My father is in another country and my parents are divorced since I was 17. My gf and mom always ask me for help and sometimes I feel helpless because I dont have the ability to help them in their problems.
Thank you again for all your answers. They are very helpful to me~
2007-11-14 17:26:50 · update #1
You asked this.
It showed that you care about your mom and GF
For me that showed that you are an adult!!
But yeah, we girls needs your love, time, attention, and care =]
Not a boy who run and hides
Yupp thats wat we want!! :D
Good luck
Bless you dude!!
2007-11-14 16:54:28 · answer #1 · answered by I Tries So Hard 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, my friend. I love this question, so you get a star from me.
Here is a question I pose for you though? Do your girlfriend and mom want YOU to take care of them? OR do you feel like you need to?
I feel like I only have to take care of myself. I am my only responsibility. Of course, if I had a girlfriend, or if I had a mother, with an dle father, of course I would WANT to take care of them, but I would be rather upset if they expected it.
You ARE an adult. I think you should be encouraging THEM to be more of an adult.
Your question should have been, how do I as an adult care for two other adults?
It is not your responsibility my friend. You do not HAVE to.
The last thing I want to do is offend you but honestly, maybe your mother and girlfriend should jump on here and ask the same thing.
You can't have people sucking the life out of you. At 21, the last thing that you want is a dependent girlfriend. Believe me, I am 25 and I have had them.
You should not be their crutch.
If you come home from work and answer to their beckoning call, then you are an enabler, allowing them to live this lifestyle. Part of being an adult is holding other adults to a higher standard. Good luck my kindhearted friend!
2007-11-14 17:16:41 · answer #2 · answered by james j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a good education. finish high school, then go for a degree of some sort from college. get grants and scholarships to help you pay for school. work hard, and sacrifice, for in the end it will all be worth it TRUST ME! your mom and gf will be so proud of you, and u will prove to them that you are a real man, just by taking responsibility of your life, and being successful with your education.. then you can get a good job, get married, buy a house, and raise a family. if you have friends, look to their fathers as a role model, someone who is a real family man that loves their kids. but really, the role model is in you! i know u can do this, and will be a wonderful influence on your kids someday. just the fact that you are concerned about being a real adult, and a good man, is a very BIG step in the right direction. most guys around your age dont even concern themselves with this, and only care about partying, so kudos to you!
2007-11-14 17:14:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your still young, what do they really want from you? Technically your an adult, acting like one comes from the inside of you, no one can make you that way...If you never had a good role model as a kid, how would anyone expect you to know how to be...You figuring this out will happen, one day you will wake up and you will know when its time...Someone trying to make you the way they want you to be isn't going to happen.
2007-11-14 16:59:27 · answer #4 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just work hard, try to think things though to solve your problems, and try not to make childish decisions impulsively. Be respectful to yourself and to everyone else. Always take responsibility for your mistakes, be honest, trustworthy, and faithful.
By the way, you are not responsible for her mother. She should be old enough to be responsible for herself. That does not mean that you can not help her, but do not feel responsible for her.
2007-11-14 17:00:03 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have a job?
If you do not get one and that way you can support them that way (too), also you should study (if you are not already doing this)
2007-11-14 16:58:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋