My bro(23yrs old) failed out from school one after another. I found him a great job doing exactly what he likes, but he ultimately stopped going and "disappeared from the job" all bc he thought walking 10mins to his office was too far. So now, he has no job. No college degree. He spends his days just eating, sleeping, watching tv, downloading movies, bitching at my parents and me, doing nothing all day, taking his anger out on our dog, etc. Saying how we ruined his life, how when he was little he used to do so well in school at times but because my parents never really praised him so he figured why work hard.
I am 5 yrs older. I took my bro in after he failed out again&again. I was working and I paid his bill. With me going to med school soon and dad losing his job recently..With no family income, my bro is still the same wasting resources and abusing us. My parents think that it's beyond them to fix this irresponsible, disrespectful adult son. They dont have the heart to throw him out
2007-11-14 16:24:00 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your parents need to be the ones to deal with this...You saying anything to your brother will not work...Your parents need to give him a deadline to pull himself together or he has to leave...They need to follow through with what they say...They are only enabling his behavior and why should he change, everyone is paying for everything for him.
2007-11-14 16:38:23 · answer #1 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, the only answer would be to kick him out. What your brother needs and deserves is tough love. What's going to happen if God forbid your parents passed away? Do you have to take care of him like a child? Are you the only breadwinner of the family? If so, pay what you're supposed to and not more than that. Give your parents money for them, if you want, but not for your bro. He can't spend it if he doesn't have it. I feel so bad for you but you and your family can't spend the rest of your life "raising" a grown man. Good luck.
2007-11-14 16:32:29 · answer #2 · answered by Jane_S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your brother he needs to grow up on his own. Try to talk to your parents and reason that the only way for him to stop abusing you all is to cut off his resources (The good food, the internet etc.) Tell him to either get a job, go back to school, or at least make an effort to not be a burden, or find some other place to live.
But put it in a nicer way.
If it were me, I wouldn't tolerate it.
2007-11-14 16:28:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can sue, yet that doesn't recommend he can win the adventure. If he is going forward with the adventure, you're able to desire to look after your self via telling the reality and affirming that the pipe did no longer leak throughout the time of the era you owned the homestead. additionally that he had an probability to receive a construction inspection till now he bought it, and to produce the inspection record in court docket, which will desire to state that there exchange into electric powered tape wrapped around the pipe on the time of the inspection. If there exchange into tape, he had warning and he could desire to have written a letter to you on the time asking for its appropriate restoration. If he did no longer accomplish that, he bought the homestead with open eyes and he should not be triumphant in court docket.
2016-10-02 09:53:48 · answer #4 · answered by barrantes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately he is one of those people that blame all of their misfortune on other people. He needs to get into therapy to learn to take responsibility for his own mistakes.
In the meantime, the only good thing that your parents can do is to throw him out. Tell them to give him exactly one month to find a job. tell them to let him know that if he keeps the job, he can stay for an additional 3 months to, but he needs to give them 3/4 of his salary to save for him to get an apartment with. Tell him that on work nights, his curfew is 10 pm and during the weekend it is 1am. Make him sign an agreement with them, and if he refuses to sign it, tell him that he will have to leave immediately.
My sister did that for my brother after my mother passed away, and it worked beautifully. He actually became a productive member of society, got married, and bought a home, a boat and 2 vehicles within 3 to 4 years.
2007-11-14 16:37:47 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find some friend or relative that still likes him and doesn't know how bad the situation has become. Deliver his possessions to that person. When your brother shows up at your place, tell him he has been evicted and give him a card with the address of his new home.
He will be mad for awhile, but ultimately, it is in his(and your) best interest.
2007-11-14 16:30:10 · answer #6 · answered by deirdrezz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds to me like you have a very irresponsible and disrespectful brother, and son for your poor parents. He sounds very lazy, and I think u have given him enough chances. Tell your parents they have done all they can to help him before he makes all of your lifes miserable, or before he gets into too much trouble. Because, put it this way. I would never want a guy as lazy as him, and either woould any other women. He needs to help himself. Tell your parents to let him be on his own and he will have to become responsible or else he will be on the street, and I know they wouldnt want that for him. and either would he. Good luck!!!! Its the best thing for him, let him learn responsibility, before its too late.
2007-11-14 16:32:02 · answer #7 · answered by Bandice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen.... i had a brother who was similar not so much with the verbal abuse but he went to school dropped out lied about dropping out....got jobs...lost them...in and out of the legal system....no good...my parents didn't have the heart either....it went on for years i love him dearly but he was a bit of a mess. Well finally one day my parents cracked and did it...they kicked him out...best thing they ever did...he moved to CA and is living a good life now, job and everything...it was like when he left the surrounding of everyday life of eating sleeping doing nothing, he had some sort of motivation....its so hard for parents to have to kick their kids out....but there really comes a time. And it sounds like its his time..he really needs to get his life straight. Talk to your parents and just explain to them how its doing him NO GOOD and i really mean....NO GOOD living at home, hell think he can do it forever....throw him out in the real world with no money it sounds a little harsh i know....but believe me in the end...it will TOTALLY work out for him...and let me tell you...it will bring your family to another level, hell be more respectful(hopefully) and you and him and your parents will get a long so much better...maybe even try talking to him...he doesn't sound like an easy person to talk to....so yell at him...do something he needs to get through too ya know? good luck darlin!
2007-11-14 16:34:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother sounds like he is suffering a debilitating depression. This can be treated. It is probably unlikely that he has health insurance, though, right? Still, there may be resources in your area where he can get a good medial workup. You might also consider his drug/alcohol intake. Sometimes people who are depressed use these substances to self-medicate. Most often, they only make things worse. Get this boy to a doctor as soon as you can. You may discover you really do love him after all.
No human being is useless. We don't exist to make money.
2007-11-14 16:28:38 · answer #9 · answered by geminiwalker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is up to your parents because it is their house (not yours). If you see your brother being physically violent with your parents or throwing things in the house - call the police and have the police arrest and remove him. Get all of you into family therapy too.
2007-11-14 16:31:52 · answer #10 · answered by Dina K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋