I'm in a community play with a man that used to be my teacher, and Ive known for many years. Im 16 now & we have always been close, but recently he has been texting me and saying things that are very inappropriate (such as "I want to see your belly ring", "Don't worry. My wife will never find these messages", and "I trust u to delete this conversation"). I have been too naive to tell him to stop, and I have kept being nice to him. Never have I said anything that insinuates that he's crossing the line. But yesterday, I talked to a teacher at the school he teaches at and found out he has a history of cheating on his wife with younger women. And the teacher had to report the situation. Today, I was called to the school office and had to show all of the text messages and give a statement about what has been happening. I feel terrible for not just telling him to stop. Should I feel this guilty? I wish I had just handled it. I will feel so bad if his life gets ruined because of it.
2007-11-14 15:34:57 · 11 answers · asked by Me 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Um, no janicajayne, I didn't seal his case and he's not going to prison. I told the people I didn't want him in trouble and they said that it should be fine as long as he's not up to anything else...considering that we never had sexual contact and he never specifically said he wanted it.
2007-11-14 15:50:17 · update #1
If his life gets ruined, it's because this sort of thing is a pattern. It's a bad decision he's been making over and over again with other people, just not you. It's not your fault that he sent these texts. Did you say to him "hey, why don't you send me some dirty messages about how you wanna cheat on your wife?" No. Doesn't sound like it. Maybe it was a little thrilling to get these messages, a bit flattering. It makes sense for you to feel a little bit guilty. I mean, that's not a really wonderful part of human nature, but it's there and it's pretty natural.
On the other hand, if you really think he crossed a line and he was making you uncomfortable, that's a different situation altogether. If you wanted to speak up and didn't because of your relationship, because you were afraid of getting him into trouble, etc, there's really no reason you should feel guilty. Think of it this way: if someone snatches your purse and you don't fight back or chase the guy down the street, is it your fault you got mugged? Not really. Are you guilty of some crime? Of course not. You didn't invite the mugging. It was the mugger's choice. Does that make sense?
Talking to a teacher sounds like a really good solution to your problem. I think you made the right choice. Good luck.
2007-11-14 15:44:30 · answer #1 · answered by July 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The teacher U told said this man has a history of this; and if people keep covering-up for this guy it only makes the game more of a challenge 4 him next time. He is a predator and should be treated as such, Do UR parents know about this?
I'm glad U came forward and this is being investigated and I'm sure his wife will be informed as well.
TO MANY TIMES WE HEAR, THERE WAS A HISTORY OF.. When these things become public, more girls need to feel comfortable going to an adult and telling them what's happening. Thank God U had a teacher you could confided in.
2007-11-14 16:15:04 · answer #2 · answered by Chef April 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't do anything wrong. Don't feel guilty. It wasn't your fault this guy is a sexual predator. He should have been stopped a long time ago. People like him give us teachers a bad name.
2007-11-14 15:52:24 · answer #3 · answered by ndn_ronhoward 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not your fault.
Some guys are such ******* perverts it disgusts me. They give a lot of us a bad name for **** like this. Especially those greasy old perverts who think they have a chance with young girls.
2007-11-14 15:41:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No don't feel guilty! I have bean in that same situation I feel sorry for you. Just get on with our life & foget him he is a no good bum
2007-11-15 06:30:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be!!! The guy is a PIG!!! He would have done it to another girl if it wasn't you!!! (Not an insult) The guy has a problem and you did the right thing if you ask me!!!
2007-11-14 16:04:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! And if his life is ruined because of it, HE is the one responsible for ruining it, NOT YOU!!
(and my guess is, even if you had told him to stop, he would not have)
2007-11-14 15:43:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
he should not have done it in the first place and if he has got caught that is his problem ---- so dont worry about it
2007-11-14 15:39:24 · answer #8 · answered by Waterdragon 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You hope it doesn't ruin his life? You just sealed his case, he's going to prison.
2007-11-14 15:41:26 · answer #9 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 4⤋
no. He is a grown man and he should know better,
2007-11-14 15:38:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋