Cat rules?

Question

If you have to throw up, get into a chair quickly. If you cannot manage this in time, get to an Oriental rug. Shag is good!
Determine quickly which guest hates cats. Sit on that lap during the evening. He won't dare push you off and will even call you "nice kitty." If you can arrange to have cat food on your breath, so much the better.
For sitting on laps or rubbing against trouser legs, select colors that contrast with your own.
Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything. Just sit and stare.
For guests who say, "I love kitties," be ready with aloof disdain, claws applied to stockings or a quick nip on the ankles.
Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get one open, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once the door is opened for you, it is not necessary to use it. You can change your mind. When you have ordered an outside door opened, stand half in and half out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather or mosquito season.
If one person is busy and the other is idle, sit with the busy one. For book readers, get in close under the chin, unless you can lie across the book itself.
For ladies knitting, curl quietly into lap and pretend to dose. Then reach out and slap knitting needles sharply. This is what she calls a dropped stitch. She will try to distract you. Ignore it.
For people doing homework, sit on the paper being worked on. After being removed for the second time, push anything movable off the table -- pens, pencils, stamps -- one at a time.
Get enough sleep during the daytime so that you are fresh for playing at night between 2:00 and 4:00 A.M.

Answer 1

LMMFAO!!!!!

that sounds like my cat!!!

1000 stars!!

Answer 2

I've got another one: wait until your owner has gone to bed and is just nodding off. That's your cue to noisily burst through the catflap. But wait - did you forget something? You'll have to go in and out of the cat flap a good few times before you remember that you didn't forget anything. By this point, your owner will be wide awake and cursing you. Laugh it off.

Also, always demand food and/or cuddles when your owner is up to their eyeballs in something else.If it's not coming fast enough, be vocal about it. VERY vocal.

And: having a fling with next door's feline hottie? Make sure you shag her out in the street in the middle of the night. If she's not screeching the place down, you're not doing it right.

Answer 3

I thought that was the cutest thing I have ever seen, yet it was all true! I always get frustartated with my cat because I am trying to complete my homework and he knocks over my stuff, or if I am typing on the computer then he stands in front! AHHH

Answer 4

You miss jigsaw puzzles,

When you see a jigsaw puzzle being made, lie on it when it is not being worked on, jump off hastily so all the joined pieces will separate and fall on the floor.

Cat's Rule, don't forget it!!!!!

love them, those rules, my cat agrees 100% with them.

Answer 5

Funny! 10!

Answer 6

When Mommy has company thats when you decide to take a massive stinky poo. Totally ignore your food dish and laze the day away UNTIL Mommy washes the dish then act like you are totally starved and cant wait two minutes for kibbles.

Answer 7

Lol sounds just like my old cat named B!tch lol
She defiantly lived up to her name....star

Answer 8

lol. i recently got a kitten and the 2am-4am playing is soo true!

Answer 9

we are not, i repeat not getting a cat, pmsl hun, excellent

star time

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Answer 10

Ahhh if only I was a cat!