Ladies, what would you do or say to your long term bf if he...?

Question

Refused to go with you to your family or friend's gatherings, EVER?
Even big events like christmas or weddings?
What if his conditions where that YOU buy him or rent him a tux if you want him to go to a formal family wedding? (when he DOES have money).
And that you have to let him take something to entertain himself with, cause he finds them boring?

Suppose that for whatever other reason you really love this guy... what would you say or do? Or would you not mind?

Answer 1

If a guy really cares for you, he will go out of respect for YOU and YOUR FAMILY. You know how many weddings/baby showers/funerals I've sat through for people I didn't even know? You show up, dress sharp (in a tux you rented YOURSELF), socialize, and have a great time meeting with and getting to know the people in your girlfriend's life. It's called respect. And every man should have it for their woman and the people in her life she cares about most. If you show up with a bad attitude, you're gonna have a bad time. If you think positively, you might just end up having a great time and meeting some really awesome people. He sounds childish to me, bringing along his gameboy to keep busy lol.

Answer 2

OMG! Are we dating the same guy? LOL!
My bf will not attend anything like that with me. Even if I was purchase or rent the tux. After he initially met the family and friends that was it, no more functions, dinners, anything. I guess because it isn't important for me that he does attend such, it doesn't bother me. I know at the end of the day, he is home, and we have been together for nine years.
As for the family and friends that know him (small town) and after his absences in many functions or dinners, they all know that it isn't his thing and they too do not mind, but always are sure to tell him that they said "Hi" or sometimes a plate of food is wrapped for him.
What do you think, do you love him to understand it isn't his thing, and realize he will be home for you when you return?

Answer 3

I have personal experience with this because my husband wont go to any family gatherings including the big ones. I found out he didn't like to go because he doesn't like my family, I know that's a different reason then your bf is giving you, but it's the same concept. I just had to learn to live with it, I did marry him after all, and he still doesn't go see my family even now that we have a baby and I go over there more often. I would say if you really love him, then understand that you can't do everything together. Try to compromise with him, if it means that much for you to go to a specific one of these get togethers, then he should deal with at least one or two.
My husband compromised by having Thanksgiving and Christmas at our home this year, just talk to him and if he really doesn't want to...and you really love him...then just respect his wishes and go have a good time. Hope I helped you out a little. Good Luck!

Answer 4

If he doesn't go with me to family or friend's gatherings EVER without stipulations, then I wouldn't think that this is someone I would want to be with. Do you accompany him to his family or friends functions? It has to be a 2 way street in order to work. I think that this is a big issue with you since you've taken the time to post this question. If he's doing this now while he is just the boyfriend, don't expect him to change if and when he becomes the husband. If this is not what you want for your future, then I would give him a stipulation of my own if I was you.....

Answer 5

The key word here is LONG TERM - this guy is in the long term relationship and if he'a serious about it and about you, he would never act this way. If it's important to you - he should've gone at least once or twice and by no way impose conditions on you! Seems like he is not a very considerate and caring person at all!
Did he ever meet any of your family? Does he have a reason not to like them?

Next time just tell him - "OK, I'll ask my other boyfriend to go" - kind of joke it off and see what his reaction is..
But so far, this guy is not a keeper...

Answer 6

If you love him enough to accept always doing your family business alone. Then let it go. If not, you might try explaining to him that in relationships one not only takes on the other person but at least some of the family involvement. You do not say if you also attend family affairs with him & his family. We all have to endure times with the others family that we might not enjoy.
Also do they all get along ok? Could be for some reason he is uncomfortable with them.
Good Luck getting him to compromise.

Answer 7

This is planly how it goes, if you love me, you will except my family and all that comes with having a long term relationship with the one you love.
This sounds very wrong to me, and he may not want to go, but if he is you bf, then he should want to be by your side reguardless of whatever gathering he should attend with you.

I know for a fact I would be mad, because in a way I view it as disrespectful, and unfair. If he had the same sort of event in his family, would he expect you to go?
Good Luck
:-)

Answer 8

However profound this may sound, this is pretty typical in relationships. I think the primary contributor is jealousy, although you are only doing things with family and friends and they don't pertain or ascertain the idea of being around eligable bachelors. Men in general want all the free time you have to be with him, even more importantly want YOU to want to spend all your free time with him. It isn't fair to make him choose, but a guilt trip here and there certainly can't hurt. My advice, stress that you want him to come with you and leave an open invitation. Pick and choose the ones you REALLY want him to go to. Good Luck

Answer 9

Yes, I would/do mind. Also, you have to put up with his sulking before the event and assume the guilt afterwards because he didn't have a good time. You're in for a lifetime of it girl, because he won't change. If you really love this guy, then maybe it's worth it. Only you know for sure.

Answer 10

That's a hard one, but I would say if he really loves you, he would eventually have to meet your family. Just let him know that he doesn't have to go to all the family gatherings all the time; only on really special occasions.