Should I dump him for this?

Question

It’s along distance relationship-5 months. I’ve visited him loads but he’s only visited me twice, because he plays & watches football on wknds.I didn’t mind at first,but am now tired of travelling all the time,waiting in his house while he plays football,&also wknds is the only time I get to see my friends here so have been missing out.
I explained this to him,&he said he loves football,has season ticket&doesn’t want to let his team down which I understand.But he was the one who suggested this relationship&to make it work both people need to compromise and make sacrifices,right?
He said he wants both (me&football)& I said,only one wknd every few weeks you could come see instead of football.He said if I wanted him to do more I should say and he would.But I felt guilty.
I really want him to come see me this wknd as have been havin a hard time lately, he knows this,but is still waiting on whether or not he has a game to play on Sunday.Does it mean he doesn't care?Dumping time?

Answer 1

ya dump him...

Answer 2

Assuming you are hoping for marriage and a permanent relationship. IT WILL NOT CHANGE. Sports fanatics are born not developed. You will always be second base and the only way you may see him is stand on second base or the goal line or behind the hockey goal net. And it will last a life time.

You have to decide if that is enough for you. If not then move on.

Does he have some obligations to other people about the games. If those obligations are longer standing that you.... then he will not adjust that. It would be nice if you could discuss this with him and tell him that one week-end a month has to be dedicated to the two of you . If he will not work with you, decide to be a sports widow or move on. Many marriages survive this sports thing, but it give ewill come from your side not his. The other option is get involved in the games as much as he is and become a sports nut yourself.

Answer 3

Long distance relationships are hard and when people expect you to do all the travelling it's even harder because you begin to resent it and they begin to take it for granted that you will always be there. Add to that friends who are getting annoyed because you never see them anymore. Without reasonable compromise this will become a bad situation fast. If he is not willing to compromise and makes you feel bad when you expect him to I think it is time to cut ties.

I had a friendship that was like this. This friend lived a fair way away and for a while I would go over to her house and stay all weekend and we would go out with other friends that side of town and it would be great. Then one of my friends that lived near me had a birthday and I stayed home that weekend. This girl did not understand that. She then didn't understand when I had to stay home some weekends to do washing and other things that can't be done during the week. She started saying how she couldn't depend on me anymore and that I wasn't making an effort. In the whole time we had been friends, she cam to my house maybe 3 times and complained about how far it was etc etc. I had to let her go

Answer 4

Long distance relationships are hard enough. They are even harder if only one person is working on it. You say this has been going on 5 months, that is two months before football season. How was he during that time? If you dont think this will change at the end of the season, or if your not willing to wait, then yes, leave him.

Answer 5

Well, long distance relationships are hard, and take A LOT of work to keep going. Unfortunatly most of them never work out. You should 1st let it be know that you are making the bigger effort to keep the relationship going, so he either needs to 1.Take into consideration of the time you take to come and see him and make use of that time TOGETHER or 2. Let you go.

I mean, you will ultimately see if he is a selfish person by making one of these decisons or find out if he really cares enough about the relationship to make it work.

Either way, you will be fine, keep in mind the quote "if you love something, set it free, if it comes back its meant to be."

Answer 6

Long distance relationships are notorious for making people create fights out of things that normally wouldn't be a problem. Believe me, i know. My Bf lives in PARAGUAY hah--thats south america! so for the past two years i've seen him a total of about 80 days!---but what i want to tell you is that no, i do not think that you should break up with him for this. I dont think that it is right to make people chose between the things they love because the truth is that if he gives up football for you he may end up less of a happy person because something that he had a passion for was sacrificed. You love him and want him to be happy i'm sure! But long distance means lots of understanding. I think that both of you should take advantage of every opportunity to be together! but i dont think that love should make someone else give up something else that they love.

Answer 7

Yes, I think it might be dumping time. Perhaps give it one more shot just to feel like you tried everything. Tell him you'd like him to visit next time and that you feel it's only fair that you start taking turns visiting each other from now on. If he leaves a lot of time lapse before visiting you or is moaning on all the time about missing his football, then dump him. Hope it works out though.

Answer 8

First, does he pay for your gas to come see him on the weekends and then after he is all done playing his football game etc does he take you out to a nice dinner and maybe some dancing? If not, then it may be time to look for someone closer to your hometown. Second, I would be asking if the tv was more important than having time with you. good luck

Answer 9

Yes, it's time to move on.
My situation was similar, long distance and all, only with him it was hunting and fishing, not football.
It took a while, but I realized just like you did that I didn't come first. And in a relationship, especially a LDR, you both have to make compromises. Unfortunately, he doesn't appear to making enough of them.
Cut your losses and move on. If he truly wants you, he will step up to the plate and try to make it work. If not (like in my case), you're better off without him.

Answer 10

OK OK...its been 5 months...so you HAVE put some effort into this. I dated my bf for 2 years long distance, and no, it was NEVER easy. both of us had to make sacrifices and neither of us were ever happy. This is waht we came up with. I went home one weekend a month to see him, and one weekend a month he came to see me...the other 2 weekends...they were reserved fro friends. that means...in your situation...one weekend a month he would have to give up football...maybe nto ALL of it...he could visit on a friday and saturday and be home for a game on sunday. the other weekends he is free...but should set aside time for when you come home. The other two weekends you can spend with whomever you want. You may not see it now, but long distance realtionships a a great thing, especially when your young. you can live you life but you do have somone to lean on if things go wrong...even if they are farther away. if youll fight...but that happens in any relationship. lastly...if you want him to come up this weekend...say...what are you doing friday night? if he says nothign say, ok can you come visit...and have him drive up fro the night. he can leave saturday but at least he came to see you. you have to tell him what YOU want. but you do have t understand that football is important to him, so ask if he wants you to go to his games when your home...or when your home, call your friends, and when he is dont with football he can call you and you can head over to his house,...no waiting. if its good when you are together...its worth keeping...or at least trying to fix...talk to him...and make sure you express how much you need him right now

Answer 11

girl - we are in the EXACT SAME BOAT. my boyfriend and i are 3 hours apart at different colleges. every sunday he coaches his semi-pro football team. at first i was doing all the work, driving every weekend, and though he paid me for every other weekend, time is money and it got really hard for me. so what we decided was he would come down on friday afternoons and just leave saturday nights. sure, it's less time but it's a lot more split up and there's a compromise because everyone wins.

however, if you are really attention driven and really need to see him you need to weigh your options...stay with him because you love him though he doesnt give you the attention you need, or bail and find someone else who doesnt have such a busy schedule.