I had cancer, and I kept pushing him away...?

Question

i've been with my bf on and off for 3-4 years. i guess i was trying to be independent and didn't want to get too attached to anyone, so i broke up with him a few times. but we always managed to get back together.

then last year, i was diagnosed with cancer. he was with me the whole time i went thru chemo (including the months i was bald) and radiation. the cancer was in my leg, and after all the treatments, the doc still couldn't be sure if i had to have my leg amputated. afterwards, they removed the cancer, saved my leg, but i was left with a huge scan from my ankle up to my thigh. i was self-conscious of the scar, and was insecure about the future (ie. will i get cancer again?). so i broke up with my bf. i never gave him my reasons, but i had pushed him away so that he could move on and be someone he wouldn't have to worry about. he started dating someone a few months later. but now we're together again. we love each other and talked of marriage. but i'm still unsure.

Answer 1

If you were in front of me right now I would slap the living crap out of you for being so f'in selfish. I know, I know, your intentions are good, but still your thinking about you and your burden. GET OVER IT!!!! THe man loves you, do you know how hard that is to come by? What you think its just him? THE ONLY F'IN THING WRONG WITH YOU IS AAAAALLLLL PHYSICAL!!!! Realize it takes TWO people to make a deep, geniune relationship work like this, DON"T you dare let your insecurities get in the way of him. Do you believe in god? THEN TAKE THIS AS GOD EVENING OUT THE PLAYING FIELD ARE SOMETHING!!!!! Besides this fella is a consequence of the fact that you are a good person, don't deny him you, just becaue of cancer, just because of some scars, even because of death. He loves you, this is his cross to bare, all you need to do, is think to yourself "damnit, I've tried to get rid of him, he just loves me so much, maybe, just maybe, I owe him this experience, because I know deep down, I'm owed someone like this in my life". For the relationship to get to this point dumb-butt, you deserve him, wrap your f'in head around that AND ENJOY YOUR LIFE, YOU LUCK (I know cancer, but still love means more then ANYTHING!!!!) PERSON YOU!!!! Some people live, suffer, and die, never metting a man like that, do this for them......