My 13 year old has been given back to me to raise by his mother, because she is a least sensible enough to not want him to turn out like his older brothers. One is a lifer in prison, and the other is Gay. So I've discussed all the problems smoking pot is causing him. Brain fog, Lethargy, Apathy, Short term memory loss, poor grades, and all the confusion happening in his life right now, but It's to late at this point to get him to realize these things are going on. He's having fun and doesn't want to give it up. He has told me were He is getting it and who is getting him stoned. It is happening on the weekend when he is at his mother's house, not at that house.
His mother is not a drug user and she leaves him with his sister when she can't be with him. His sister is also straight, but I'm sure she is aware of the situation, because it's happening over there. I want to eliminate the source of the pot, and I want to get him off of it without alienating Him. WHAT should I DO???
2007-11-14 06:43:39 · 15 answers · asked by Boogie Man 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
His admission to you is a clear sign that he wants help.
Get him to a residential drug rehab program for adolescents.
This is clearly something that you are not equipped to manage. You are divorced and your oldest son is doing a life term in prison. This is objective evidence that you were not a good husband or father. Let's face it. You failed. It doesn't mean you can't turn it around.
I am sorry. The truth hurts some times.
2007-11-14 07:03:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
why are "gay" and a lifer in prison in the same sentence? wow, no wonder your kids have problems.
is your gay child happy? are you so insecure in your manhood that a gay child is like the other child that is in jail?
that is my first response.
when was the last time that you sat down, shut the hell up and just listened to what your 14 year old has to say? or even took the time to say: "how are you, son?" and then shut the hell up and listened. i bet probably never. your problems in your life and your childhood and your divorce and your job and your debt... these things weigh heavy on you all the time,right?
go give your son a hug and a KISS, yes a kiss and tell him "i love you no matter what" :" you are my son, no matter what" " i stand by you NO MATTER WHAT."
tell him you are proud of him.
dare you.... are you man enough to REALLY be a FATHER?
do you drink alcohol? do you smoke pot? do you use any other drugs? bet you do...
are you man enough to be a GOOD example of a father and human being and a man to your son and STOP all the crap in your life?
our children are our #1 importantance in our lives. if yours are not, then your life is SKEWED. stop chasing money, tail, etc and TAKE CARE of your son.
go look in the yellow pages for a counselor and make an appointment with one WITH your son. ask the counselor for help to talk with and listen to your son.
i know that i have been harsh. but sometimes you gotta shake the hell out of someone to wake them up.
are you awake yet?
cw
hypnotherapy-psychotherapy dot com
2007-11-14 06:52:41 · answer #2 · answered by charlton_g_w 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
A big problem as you know. My approach is that I am the biggest and I MAKE THE RULES. and drugs and pot are not a part of our program. He can abide by the rules or else. Be sure you know what the or else is. Military school, prison?
Will his prison brother help you?? Maybe he can make the 13 year old realize what he is risking. 23 hours in a 6x8 room with the pot next to the bed, would not be attractive to me.
Can you help him find some places he can do volunteer work? A church soup kitchen, a hospital or doctors office, a vets office to wash and walk.. Anything to keep him in a place he is not bored.
2007-11-14 07:00:46 · answer #3 · answered by Lyn B 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You are his father, not his pal. You cannot be worrying about "alienating" him when his welfare is at stake. There is but one thing to do: call in the authorities - as in the POLICE! If you do not, and it is subsequently discovered that you knew of his drug abuse and did nothing, not only will he be taken away from you by the court system, but you will be before a magistrate on a wide variety of charges, starting with endangering the welfare of a child. Here in New York state, that's a serious crime that rates big fines and long jail sentences on top of being forbidden ever to see the lad again.
You know what you must do. Get 'er done.
2007-11-14 07:27:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just tell him you don't approve and give him some of the information you have about the health implications.
Most teenagers experiment at some stage and it's completely normal as a form of teenage rebellion. The more you tell him he can't, the MORE he will want to because he wants to rebel against authority at his age. Sorry. Chances are it's just a phase.
By the way, if he's gay he's gay, that's nothing to do with how he "turns out" or what he smokes...
2007-11-14 06:54:51 · answer #5 · answered by munchkin 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My mom had to deal with this situation with my sister but she eventually stoped when she had a baby.. My mom ask her about it and she said, When she did it, she was depressed.. Ask him is he depressed about something because drugs is a depressant. Tell him millions of ppl start off at a young age smokin' pot and then later, they get hooked on crack-cocaine and then Die! Tell him he doesn't want to go down that route because it's a huge possiblity that it could happened..
2007-11-14 07:13:08 · answer #6 · answered by Amber S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Shes not doing her job by being a good parent it seems to me that you are, but shes not trying. She probably doesnt know how to discipline very well. So you have to talk to her.
2. Maybe he's probably getting it from his sister.
3. If nothing works, if your going to be taking him to his moms house, I say take him during the day while your there, and dont let him stay there, overnight.
4. If nothing works, take all his things away, basically ground him until he stops, no going to friends houses, or anything like that. If you find him skipping school to go smoke or something tell him your gonna go to school and sit there with him everyday until he stops everything.
p.s.
keep a track of all his grades, absences, you dont have to ask him, you can go to the school and ask for his grades and his report cards.
My mom did this to me and believe me it worked! lol
And dont hit him and no screaming, that wont solve it.
Well take care i hope everything goes well bye.
2007-11-14 06:57:49 · answer #7 · answered by Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥ஜღMRS.STARღஜ♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Most parent will get angry at child after admiting to using pot.
Never be angry at voluntary confession, it hurt relationship between you and the child.
Secondly, talk to your son the benefit of living a life with pot and how pot can hurt future life like growing up as a father, trying to get job for work, etc.
Lastly, love your child and not the pot. By loving him, try put him on a daily excercise that allow him to not take pot.
During the daily excercise, award him for not taking it. Punish him for taking it.
2007-11-14 06:49:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
sorry, you need to get him and you into a drug counseling situation, so you know what to do, and counseling to find out what is going on with him. Don't try to deal with this alone there are many free programs out there. talk to school counselors for a start.
2007-11-14 06:53:14 · answer #9 · answered by do.drop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take him to a clinic or place where they take care of drug addicts and show him what smoking pot could lead to like useing other drugs which it does it is a gateway drug. If you can show him what using drugs could do for him he might stop
2007-11-14 06:48:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋