I don't know the bride at all and I'm not much more than a casual friend of the groom. I'm not part of his main circle of friends, I only know him because I used to work for his family. I was unfairly dismissed from the job and don't get along with his father, though my friend doesn't seem to know the details. I don't think it would be fair to play such an important role in the wedding as I think there will be an unpleasant atmosphere between me and my friend's family and I would rather not be put in that position. I don't want to hurt my friend's feelings by telling him I don't want to do it or about my disagreements with his father, but I need to get out of this situation. The wedding is going to be in St Lucia early next year but I want to decline now rather than accept and then let them down at the last minute.
2007-11-14 06:36:19 · 20 answers · asked by Quinn 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I don't know the bride at all and I'm not much more than a casual friend of the groom. I'm not part of his main circle of friends, I only know him because I used to work for his family. I was unfairly dismissed from the job and don't get along with his father, though my friend doesn't seem to know the details.
I don't think it would be fair to play such an important role in the wedding as I think there will be an unpleasant atmosphere between me and my friend's family and I would rather not be put in that position.
I don't want to hurt my friend's feelings by telling him I don't want to do it or about my disagreements with his father, but I need to get out of this situation. The wedding is going to be in St Lucia early next year but I want to decline now rather than accept and then let them down at the last minute.
He has already asked me and I need to give him a reply that wont upset him. I don't know why he chose me.
2007-11-14 07:33:18 · update #1
Apologies for the mistake above.
He has already asked me and I need to give him a reply that wont upset him. I don't know why he chose me. He has a brother that could do it or maybe some other family member of his or the bride.
2007-11-14 07:37:10 · update #2
Has he even asked you?
If so, use 2 positives, a negative, and a positive, then change the subject:
"Wow, Jim - what an honor! That's a really important role - unfortunately, I won't be able to serve in that capacity, but I'm really looking forward to attending as a guest - have you guys registered anywhere?"
2007-11-14 06:40:35 · answer #1 · answered by ill_be_phd 3 · 5⤊ 1⤋
You knew when the wedding was planned so why schedule the dog to be groomed then? For your question you are very rude. I am sorry to say this. But if you didn't want to be his best man you should have told him no when he ask you. That is really said to wait a few days before the wedding and not want to go. You didn't have to get a dancer for him. There are other things you all could have done with out spending your hard earned money on that type of party. Especially if you didn't really have the funds to do so. Hey you had time to go to the party. The wedding is a whole lot more important than the party was. The couple aren't selfish sir you are the selfish one. Grow up and wake up and smell the coffee.
2016-05-23 03:56:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're lucky the wedding is in such a remote location -- this might be a good out. I would thank him profusely for extending you such an honor, but tell him that you just can't make it to St. Lucia this year due to work commitments, family commitments, money issues, etc. Usually work (or a new job) is a great way to get out of wedding commitments, as it's tough to argue that you should put their wedding over your livelihood.
I'd leave the personal feelings out of it. It's just too stressful of a time for them. And there's no point, really. But you are right -- do this sooner rather than later so they can get on with their plans.
2007-11-14 06:42:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When he asks tell them that you don't think you are the right person to be the best man. Tell them you can't afford to go to the wedding. You don't have to give a long explanation, just say you'd rather not and be done with it. Besides, if you're not good friends with him, why is he asking you to be his best man? Has he even asked you yet or are you assuming? You failed to give information to this question that could help. But either way, be honest and just say you would prefer not to be in the wedding but you are flattered that he thought well enough of you to ask.
2007-11-14 06:46:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's not that close to you, I don't see the problem with just being honest with him. You don't necessarily have to give exact details but just explain to him that you and his father had a falling out and you don't feel comfortable being around his father on his wedding day. Just explain to him that you no longer work at that company because of his father. Also tell him that you felt it would be better to back out now rather than when it gets closer to the wedding.
I don't understand why he asked you to be his best man if you aren't that close?
2007-11-14 06:41:58 · answer #5 · answered by Paula Christine 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest. Tell him you feel uncomfortable with his decision. Tell him you do not want to add strain to his father or him on this very special day. Make sure he is aware that it has nothing to do him, it's a personal choice. Tell him you are honored but need to decline. He should understand your decision. If not than Oh well.....He doesn't know the whole story.....His father may rethink his opinion about you.
2007-11-14 07:54:17 · answer #6 · answered by Jana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are only a casual friend and don't know the bride, then why are you the best man. Just be straight forward by telling him your reasons for declining the offer.
2007-11-14 06:40:32 · answer #7 · answered by swimbike21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
St. Lucia, what an out, brother. Have you forgotten how deathly afraid you are to fly over water. In fact, airplanes totally wig you out. You are so stressed out by the fear of flying over water that some of your cousins actually call you John Madden.
Just say "Sorry Dude, can't do it - I never fly over water, man. Once before, when I thought about flying over water, I actually shat my pants, dude!. Sorry!"
2007-11-14 09:36:41 · answer #8 · answered by Dolphin P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What sweeter satisfaction can you get then being this guys best man? That will really stick it to his father. Bring a hot date and enjoy St. Lucia.
2007-11-14 06:40:32 · answer #9 · answered by Islander 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get the exact date of the wedding and plan a cruise on that same date.
No I think you need to talk to him and tell him exactly what you just told 55 million total strangers. Or send us his address and we can forward them to him. Kidding!!!
Tell him the truth....it's always better. One lie creates the need for another one.
2007-11-14 06:45:49 · answer #10 · answered by Lyn B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋