why is it hard for a single mother to find a good man?

Answer 1

Single mothers should be focused on their children and not looking for a man.

If you happen to find one that's different. But don't have men going in and out of the children's lives.

And why? Because children are baggage, and people try to avoid dating people with baggage. You need a guy who has children too, you can have baggage together.

Answer 2

Finding a good person is extremely difficult, but finding one when you already have a child is hard.
Speaking from personal experience being a single girl with no children dating a single father, it just brings in so many angles that make dating more difficult. Like the fact that the other parent is in the picture quite a bit of the time, the fact that if things work out you would be meeting the child, whether the child likes you affects whether you continue dating, the fact that you've suddenly gone from being a single person to a surrogate parent.

It's very hard. I couldn't handle it. My suggestion would be to find single parent dads. They'll have many of the same life experiences that you do vs. a single man with no children. They would know what you are going through and would be more likely to embrace your child with open arms.

Answer 3

Honey, it's hard for anyone to find a good man. It's going to be more difficult for a single mom to find someone because there is an extra person in the scenario. It's hard enough when it's just two people. A lot of men don't want to deal with the extra effort it takes to date someone who already has a child. I can assure you, there are good men out there it is just going to take a while to find the right one.

Answer 4

I have a good man and I am a single mom. He's great.

But for the most part I would say it is the following:

Finding someone who is accepting of your lifestyle and patient enough to deal with your role as a mother. Finding someone who realizes your availability is limited compared to that of someone without children. Finding someone who is going to treat you in a way that shows your child that there is such a thing as a healthy normal relationship. And there is the general stereotype of a single mom looking for a daddy for her kids. Which is not true in most cases. Some men seem to forget that for every single mom - there is a single dad out there too... *eh hem*

Answer 5

Cuz most guys dont want to walk into an instant family. Me personally I have had girls like me and they were very attractive but I didn't persue it because they had a kid. For me I like to think that I'm the only guy thats ever been involved w/this girl in the bedroom, even though I know I'm not its still makes a difference when a baby is involved cuz its just a constant reminder that another man has been there before you, plus not to mention the awkwardness of dealing w/the actual father. Its just a very hard situation and I wish you luck in finding a good guy.

Answer 6

It's much harder for us because most men do not want a ready made family. Depending on how many children you have will have impact as well. If you already have 3 or more children and the man doesn't have any but wants more, it makes it even harder to start and stay in a relationship. There are many factors such as your age and his age etc... example, if you are both older and don't want children and the one's you/he have are grown then it shouldn't be hard to find that man. It could also be the type of man you are looking for and where you are finding them. Try looking for someone that already has children. They are more compassionate and understanding. Good luck. :)

Answer 7

I think it is because a lot of guys are fearful of a built-in family. Also, if the mom is being a good mom, she is splitting her time and resources between the children and the man. A lot of men want her all to himself, at least in the beginning.

The guy I have in my life now, actually tries to connect with my teenage son. We've gone to ball games together and the other night he asked to speak with my son on the phone. Told him that if he ever needed anything, to just give him a call. It blew me away that he would do that! There are some out there....

Answer 8

Depending on your age, I know you are limited as to where all the good men are at. Some men just don't want the responsibility of you having a child. In all reality it isn't their responsibility unless they want to commit to you and then they need to know that you not only have baggage, but you have a package. You and your child. So many men are selfish these days. They are self centered too. Just give it some more time, do not hurry things along or you will not be able to choose with an open mind on the best one. Good things come to those who wait. best of luck in your near future with the man of your dreams coming soon.

Answer 9

when boys are born, in theory, they're lavished ALL THIS ATTENTION on them from their mother. This goes on for years until they might get to a certain age or whatever. Men spend their lives looking for someone who loves them unconditionally like that, except with sex thrown in, and then when they find them, if they have a kid right away, adios dream life! Now their hard sought woman companion is focusing half her time on the rugrat.

If some woman already HAS a rugrat, then the boyfriend will NEVER EVER have her exclusively, even for a little while.

It's absolute torture being a male.

Answer 10

It's hard only if the mom is looking primarily for a father and/or provider for her (another man's) children. If she is looking just for a relationship with a man, and the man has no issues with her having children, it can work. That said, the field of male candidates for a single mom is narrow.