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My man has never been spontaneous when it comes to sex. We have only ever done it really when we are in bed about to go to sleep. He says he hates being on top of a woman and can only make love really in one position with me on top facing him. Lately we only have sex once or twice a week ( been together a year) so I can't really spice things up because we can only do it one way really. Do you think he has psychological problems? Or just a low sex drive?

2007-11-14 02:52:53 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

28 answers

I think he is not putting any effort in pleasing you sexually in doing the things that you like. A relationship is a 2-way street, not a 1-way street! He sounds lazy and is doing nothing to get this going which is important to you - he needs to get his lazy butt in gear and get busy in this area

2007-11-14 02:56:44 · answer #1 · answered by metalgods 4 · 0 1

How much experience does he have with sex? Maybe he is just inexperienced (or maybe he over exaggerated his experience to you), and is now scared to try new things, because he is scared he will embarrass himself. That might count for the low sex drive, as well as the not being on top (top=in control in sex)

If you want to get him to work, turn it around on him. If he doesn't want to do something because he "hates" it, what about the things you hate (like only getting it once or twice a week).

Also, feel free to jump out there on a limb, do some crazy stuff. It can't be all about what HE likes and hates. He has to find a way to accommodate you, if you’ve been doing all this to accommodate him.

2007-11-14 11:00:05 · answer #2 · answered by Morgan 3 · 0 1

He's not mentally ill, just lazy. He wants you to be on top so he can lay there and not have to work at it. You need to talk to him about your need to spice things up and don't be shocked when he gets offended. You need to let him know that you like the way it has always been done (if you didn't, you wouldn't have done it for this long), but are interested in trying something new. You can still be on top, but turn away from him (that way he can lay there and do nothing). Good Luck!

2007-11-14 10:59:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2 1

Most people don't have sex at all. It's an urban legend that's gotten way out of hand.

I suggest you not offer it. You'll find that life without it is quite pleasant, peaceful and cleaner.

If people were actually indulging in sex, (as so many claim to), there wouldn't be so much road rage, ugliness in people's faces and impatience at the public venues.

What I know from my past experience, most men are annoyed by the sight and feel of breasts over them. A thin waist is very unsavory, too.

Come to think of it...he does have mental issues. Leave him. And warn the next young lady he tries to make feel unwanted.
.

2007-11-14 10:56:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2 1

ZZzZzzZZzzz... Maybe you should go to a sex store and pick up some not too crazy toys just to get things started... But come on --- He doesn't like to be on top?!?! Maybe he is shy so get a bottle of wine and make him want you so bad that he'll do it upside down if he has too..
Good luck... and remember that sex is a very important part in a relationship -- So it is very important that you take this seriously and work on it.

2007-11-14 10:58:18 · answer #5 · answered by sunshyn1919 5 · 3 0

I would ask him exactly why he does not like being on top.
Have a deep conversation about that. Do not let it end with a half answer.

Find out if it causes him pain.
Find out if he feels in to much control
find out if he is just being lazy
Find out if it is the only way he can orgasm
(if it is not.... say you need the other positions for your needs)

I have read that some men after masterbating on there back for years can only reach orgasm in the smae position. and i would say that is a mental block. Because many other men have no issue with that at all.

You both have a right to enjoy sex.
And if it is a mental block or a health issue find out now and work on it together.
Good luck

2007-11-14 11:01:50 · answer #6 · answered by charontheloose 6 · 0 2

Honey he may have both, that just sounds crazy. He only wants you on top facing him, he needs to get a lot more in touch with the freak in him! Try going to a sex store and finding one of those books that has different positions in them and make a game of it with him. Try something to get him more in touch with that side of him before he bores you to death!

2007-11-14 11:00:05 · answer #7 · answered by I've Got My Answer 4 · 2 1

I agree with everyone that your man is selfish, lazy and BORING!! He definately has problems..and it seems as if you do as a result of this...go to like Pure Romance.com and stock up on some awesome toys (i suggest Ice Ice Baby) and go to town with your bad *** and let him watch...or cut your losses and find someone who is willing to do it all for you, where, when and how you like it!!

2007-11-14 11:02:15 · answer #8 · answered by SimplyRed 5 · 0 0

He may have issues with any sort of "dominance."

After you guys have sex one night, snuggle up and ask him why he's that into it. Don't accuse him of anything or get confrontational, but just ask.

If he refuses to discuss it, then there's not much you can do about it other than move on or decide if you want to live with that.

2007-11-14 10:58:07 · answer #9 · answered by Jenine 3 · 1 1

Seriously... I think if either of the two of you has mental issues, its got to be you. IF you wants spontaneity, you can go right ahead and start it whenever you feel like it. IF you want spice, you'll think of a way to bring the spice.

2007-11-14 10:57:32 · answer #10 · answered by billgoats79 5 · 1 2

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