As a christian wife what am I to do?

Question

I am very much a christian and follow the lord. However my husband does not. He has lied to me many times and even shoved my bible at me strikeing me in the chest and called me a skank. He does not live like a christian man and goes to church and acting like he does. The pastor called him out one night saying the reason his home is the way it is is because of the way he is living. My husband after that said he would be a better husband it lst a day and he is right back to being cold and hurful. I have not slept next to him for the past month and all I hear from him is your not being a wife because I do not sleep in the same bed. How can I we have been married two months ande I found out while we where dateing he was emailing woman asking to see them in thongs and while we where ingaged he was looking up sex sights. He is up and down am I wrong for pulling away and sleeping on the couch because his behavior is not the way of the lord?

Answer 1

when you see things like . . . "God would rather you stay married than get a divorce" . . . those people are wrong.

You made a mistake getting into this situation.

You're making a bigger mistake STAYING in the situation.

You're unequally yoked. He's not a Christian, it's not a Christian marriage.

For the sake of your child, get out of this marriage ASAP.

God loves you and wants the best for you. IS this marriage of God? It certainly doesn't sound like it.

Answer 2

I feel for you in a wierd way. If Christ did that to me I would be forever without hope. Even afte I became a Christian it was not an overnight change. I have used drugs for many a year afterwards and it has been a long struggle. I thank God that He never gave up on me. I say that to say this. If you are indeed strong to one degree let Jesus take you to the next degree. If you really do love this man and wish to "stick it out", then you are in for a little hard work and hurt. All thigns that we work the hardest for, however, are the ones that last the longest.

I Peter 3:1-7 holds a great key. You must pray about this first of course and see if in fact this was the couse for your life in the first place.

I Corinthians 7:12-16 is the reason that we ( as Christians ) are NOT to be unequally yoke with an unbleliever ( II Cor.6:14 ).

I really feel for you cause this is a big decision. If he is also being abusive to you, you MUST GET OUT NOW! No two ways about it. Afterwards, if you are still intrested in him, and he has more than proven himself in his lifestyle and manner of life you may consider seeing him again and seeing where your relation may go. All these suggestions will take much time and effort. As a woman you can only do what you feel comfortable with and there is no one that can tell you different. DO NOT GET DOWN ON YOURSELF! It really is not your fault.

I will be praying for you as I submit this.
God Bless you and guide you into His Truth and give you the strength to move forward in His Spirit>In Jesus Name!

Answer 3

This is what annoys me, you're not showing me any proof that god does exist your just asking me wouldn't it be BETTER if someone believed in God so that they never did bad things? Though that usually doesn't stop people as they then pretend that Jesus was ok with whatever they did. 1.) Your picture of atheists sounds like it's come straight out of a preist's mouth. I am an atheist, I have a conscience, I know that cheating on someone is harmful to them and that my guilt would consume me. I don't need to be THREATNED by religion to think that way. Also if you cheat, there's something wrong with your relationship, you don't love or respect that person as much as you should because if you did then you wouldn't feel the need to cheat. Sure a person CAN molest a child or sleep with an animal if they so desire, that person however needs to be locked away from society before they cause any harm to anybody. They won't go to hell, they won't go to heaven either, they'll just die like everyone else. I'm sorry but the idea of religion doesn't change the possibility that there is no god or afterlife. Just because some people may prefer it doesn't make it any more or less real than it can be proven to be.

Answer 4

Yeah, I would leave him. Give him a short amount of time to straighten up-and let him know you intend to file for divorce. You may be better off ending this marriage, and hoping for something better later. Obviously you have made a big mistake by marrying this guy. If he really loves you-he will straighten up. If I were you, I would file for divorce right away-let him know why. Then, go through with it if he does not change. But, set a short and strict time limit. And keep it. The main thing-do something -don't wait around. If you have to go through with the divorce-don't ever go back. Move on.

Answer 5

the Bible says that a married couple should not be unequally yoked... he can't be going in one direction while you are going in another.... if he wants to work things through then you guys should sit down with a pastor and work things out.... however if he doesn't then you should give it to the Lord and walk away. You both will never be happy unless someone makes a change and it doesn't sound like it'd be him making the change. Pray for an answer from the God and His Holy Spirit and be still and listen for His answer. It might not be something you want to hear but He will answer.

Answer 6

First of all, as a Christian you shouldn't have married a man like that. But it is too late and God would rather you stay married to him than get a divorce. But all you can do is show him why is it so great to be a Christian and make him want what you have. Just don't push it on him too hard. Tell him you want to be able to see him forever in Heaven and would be utterly sad if he went to Hell. Tell him that you are scared of him, and you would be a better wife if he was more faithful and less hurtful. Just use your words carefully. Ask for the Lord's help.

Answer 7

I came back to the Lord years ago. Then my husband even ripped my bible in 1/2.

So? I seem to have been through similar things you have. But my husband doesn't go to church. I just trust God regarding my husbands salvation.

Verses? Submit to your husband, in the Lord. If he tells you to do something ungodly, don't listen to him. If your husband is telling you that you are an idiot, then you don't have to receive that. This is a curse. Imagine a boomerang head your way, dipped in Gods love, & returned to sender. I learned this from 'Donna Douglas' at a womens retreat & did this when I got home & the pain left as soon as I did this & I thought of something else. Compare, "Bless those who curse you.".

When I first came back to the Lord, my husband started pushing me around. I nipped that in the bud by calling 911 when my friend told me I needed this on record. He hasn't pushed me down or hit me since.

Also, when my husband looks at pornography this is a dividing wall in our love life. So? Since that was a birthday present my last two birthdays, I don't sleep with him now. But I love him. Because he is a neat guy when he is sober & himself. But when he drinks or comes against Jesus Christ or Christians, I don't like to be around him. I have sort of separated the two. I love my husband the man I married. I leave the drunkard. I learn to walk in forgiveness. And I am waiting for his healing. As he is sick right now because of his alcohol problem. Also, the Lord has given me assurance that he will come to salvation.

Tell your husband that lusting after other women is adultery of the heart. And this leads to actual acts of adultery.

My last birthday was a difficult one, as my husband was at a bar with a woman & got punched in the face outside in the parking lot & was in the hospital with multiple facial broken bones & wounds. Plus there was a dime there with my birthday year on it. A sign from heaven.

I praise God he didn't actually have an affair. But I ask God to show me if he ever does. This time he got punched in the face just before he would have slept in the same room with another woman.

I suggest that you ask God for wisdom how to get rid of any porno, or find out if the emails are worse than you know. You need wisdom from God what to do. He is the one that is putting the wall between you & him. Porno wall.

Also, as wives of disobedient husbands. There is a verse that we are to not really speak the Word of God to our disobedient husbands but that the husband be won by our conversation & gentle actions. So? Our husbands can see our actions.

But I wouldn't sleep with him either when he is womanizing other ladies. Let him know. And also that this is how divorses happen.

A marriage that will work is if two Christians trust & obey God & put God first in their marriage. Then each other, then the family & then the career.

Obviously your husband is disobedient. So isn't putting God first in his marriage.

Answer 8

You could do with some scriptural knowledge that may empower you to take the steps that are necessary.

Paul show us that we are permitted to divorce for any kind of sexual infidelity. However, I am not sure that looking alone permits a divorce. It is a sin nonetheless.

If you are being abused this should be judged by you -- is it abnormal, is it physical hitting, is it unchristian?

If the behavior is the practice and the willful doing of sin, then your husband becomes an unbeliever in God's eyes and this leads to other conclusions and such found on this page about sex and divorce.

Please look at this page for scriptures about sex and divorce more:
http://bythebible.page.tl/Sex.htm

Being cold and hurtful may not entitle you to a divorce scripturally. I would ask others who are scripturally wise. If you have respect for your pastor and he himself is a man obeying God as well as man can, ask him.

Why don't you pray about wisdom for handling the problem according to God's will!

Answer 9

If you are a Christian why did you marry an unsaved man. That is forbidden in Christianity. Why do Christians think they don't have to obey God? Why do Christians complain when they disobey God and then things go wrong?
They only thing you can do is apply the principles that are given to women who are married to unbelievers in 1 Peter 3:1 "In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives..."

Answer 10

First of all....you said you found out "while we were dating" that he was contacting other women in a sexual manner and looking up porn sights. Honey, you should have run then!! You had doubts before you got married and that should have been something you considered before you made your vows.
Next, you said he physically and mentally abuses you?? Then you should kick him out and get a lawyer.

If he is physically abusing you then you have a biblical reason to leave. Other wise you need to pray without ceasing. Pray that God can show you ways in your own life to change and then pray for your husband. Don't ask God to change him, but ask God to raise up a king inside your husband. When I say king I mean as a king who is a spiritual leader in your home.

Answer 11

if he was that way before the marriage and you have only been married 2 months..why did you marry him?? did you not go to pre marriage classes/ counseling? that might have indicated that things where not correct...

he has been doing that behavior before and during this brief "marriage" then he voided the marriage vows before they came out of his mouth....(e-mailing women and on line porn is video adultery) and will only get worse...

RUN, don't walk out the door....should never have gotten into that mess....


I know what I am talking about...EX pretended to be a christian ..until I discovered the porn and the gambling, etc..divorced him fast and the air force kicked him out for his "activities"....



Being submissive to an unsaved/ unchristian husband who appears to be into porn and such is not a correct idea in this situation....it could be an indication of a more serious"profile" that would put you into a dangerous situation....

that mind set has a completely different concept of "submissive"...RUN...