Am I a Shallow *****? Help please :(?

Question

I have been dating my boyfriend for about a month and a half now - we have been together 2 weeks "officially". He has lots going for him, but as shallow as it sounds, I am the better looking person in the relationship and many people have asked me what I'm doing with someone who looks like him when I look the way I do.
I don't listen to others, I make decisions for myself on who I do and don't date. However, I DO agree. It's actually starting to get to me that I am quite a bit better looking. This must sound so shallow (especially coming from a 22 year old), but I don't know if it would be wrong of me to continue to date him when I really don't have any physical attraction (there is some level of sexual attraction though). I am wondering if this is going to catch up with me and be a problem down the road. Can someone please offer me some advice? Thanks!

Answer 1

Thanks, as it is because of women like you that man do not trust women.

You need to grow up and get a grip. If your that concerned about someone looks; to where you let that decide if they are a decent human and 'worthy' of dating you, then you are the one who does NOT deserve to be dating that person,,or any person as far as that goes...you are EXTREMELY shallow.

Answer 2

You seem to be a tad bit shallow and as you said yourself, it may tend to be the Down Fall to your relationship with your man. You didn't mention if the guy is Good to you and I don't mean only sexually. Does he pay a lot of attention to you, does he care for you and show it as well as say it? Does he do things for you that make you happy...Buy things, take you places? Does he NOT HIT YOU, or talk bad to you? Does he support all the things that you may want to do, that you are doing now and the things that you may want to do in the future? If the only thing that you're worried about is the fact that He's not as attractive as you are, than You do have a problem and it will get bigger as time goes on while the two of you are together. You do now that "Beauty Fades" and "Real, Caring, Thoughtful People are Forever", don't you. Than if that man is all that I just mentioned and you decide to let all that go for The Reason you stated, then maybe it's time to let him know and Move on. But beware, if you do that and then after going around other guys that are Just as Attractive as you are , and They Know It and will tell you, Then You will have a big problem to deal with yourself, as far as a Big Ego from your Next "Pretty Man", who will definitely have Pretty Women and Some Pretty Men giving You some Competition. You finally realize what you let go and it amy be too late to go back. Take some time to think this out before you perhaps make a mistake you can't return. Good Luck...Pretty Girl...For Now!

Answer 3

I think you should talk to him. It's no fair for you to keep lying to him. If there is no physical attraction then I don't know why you started dating him. It doesn't make sense. Why don't you ask your self these questions? What made you feel attracted to him? His looks or his personality? Looks are no the most important things in life. They won't last forever. What kinds of friends are telling you this? Are they female or males. Have you even thought on the possibility that if they are girlfriends they may like him too? Or if the guys are telling you this is because they want you. Don't let them mess with your mind. It seems a very easy job, don't get offend it but you need to mature a little more. Are you happy in this relationship? Write down the good and the bad, put it in a balance. You might get impress with the results. Don't let people manage your life. Go with your instincts. Good Luck

Answer 4

Shallow no ***** no way. Your normal we all can look over our shoulder in life and say we find good and bad parts in our partner. Look at what he has to offer and if some one says something about his looks tell him the good things right away. you should be able to name 5 good things in affirmation of your love. Looks do matter but I seen some hot woman with some ugly men and they are both very happy more than two beautiful people more often than not they both are into the shallow end. I say your not shallow that is why you like him. Your young don't be pressured in to find some one for money looks or other social criteria follow your heart. How do you get along that is the question. Does he respect your ideas your values does he feel proud to be around you. Does he seek your advice on important matters.

Answer 5

You're not shallow if you're not physically attracted to the guy, sometimes the physical chemistry does not happen; though it would be shallow if the only reason why this lack of attraction is happening is because of your growing narcissism.

Will it bite you in the butt later on in life? Maybe. That really depends on you and your ability to learn and appreciate humility. That could be a year from now or twenty, now or never. It's a personality thing that grows as life moves on.

But if you've lost the feeling for the guy, regardless, it'd probably be best to cut the cord so you're not wasting his time or your own.

Answer 6

i wouldnt say shallow but you just know what you want out of a man.Youre young and youve dated for such a short time it wouldnt even count! soo you either leave him or stick with him and think of him as an INVESTMENT if you say he has a lot going for him..
all in all its all about status no matter how ugly you are because money and stability overrides a persons appearence just like personality does as well. So not only you will have stability and security in the future but a guy you get a long with OR you can be with the hottest guy ever but always arguing about money and you will be labeled as a poor @$$.. ~reality is a bltch

Answer 7

You're right...it does sound shallow; incredibly so, in fact. The thing is, we've all been guilty of that to some extent, and the remedy is generally the same for all of us: We wind up with some incredibly hot person that makes our lives a living hell, then we realize what's truly important in life. So, when your future prettyboy is gazing in the mirror at himself more often than he's looking at you, or he's too worried about breaking a nail to lift a manicured finger to defend or support you in anyway, you'll look back to the good ol' days when your dance card was filled with Mr. Mediocre, but the universe made sense. Live and learn.

Answer 8

Although it is perfectly normal to want to be physically attracted to your partner, I think you are a shallow *****, just the way you express about yourself is shallow. No one forced you to date him and no one forced him to be less attractive so don't blame his looks now, you made your choide a month and a half ago. Somehow I think other people's thoughts have started getting to you, and that in an unconscious level, has changed the way you see your partner.

Leave him, let him find someone worthy of him, and go date a jock or something.

Answer 9

Would you go out with him in public - to a big ball or something?

Would you be happy to be photographed with him in public?

You DO sound somewhat preoccupied with personal appearance. Physical appearance does not always correlate well with internal drive, ambition, success or happiness.

The important thing here is that you recognize this could be a problem. Keep tabs on it and if it is becoming a problem then the two of you need to address it. Your major options being:

(1) he gets plastic surgery and can look like the Ken doll you always wanted

(2) you change your ideas and attitudes about peoples external appearance

or

(3) you break up

Looks are an important part of the initial physical attraction. But if you're talking to us about sexual attraction, I think you might be past that stage and now really trying to explore what might make a relationship last.

If his looks are so important to you - you might be happier finding someone who looks like how you want your bf to look like. Be aware that time is your enemy. Girls looks fade faster than boys looks generally ... face-wise anyway.

(Oh - just curious - why is it that you don't have an avatar or a picture of yourself?)

Answer 10

well its not too bad nothing wrong with wanting some hot man meat. Give your self some room to go down or up the scale because even hot guys get fat after a few years so adjust for personaltiy some. You can always go with the nice average guy and have some man toys on the side

Answer 11

it doesn't matter what other people think, don't let them sway your thinking. as far as physical attraction, that can come with how the guy treats you. like if he is really good to you then he will look better to you. there are a lot of couples out there where one person is really good looking and the other person just isn't look at seal and heidi klum