Untidy boyfriend?

Question

Every time I go over to my boyfriends place it’s always untidy, the kitchen is a mess and he leaves dirty plates, empty bags, and exposed food so it goes stale. Etc etc. The lounge is a mess too with clothes on the floor. The first time I went over he made an effort to tidy up and make it look nice but now it seems like he feels he doesn’t need to make the effort. How do I tell him in a subtle way without sounding like a nag to tidy up? It seems to me he likes the mess because I started washing up once to do my bit and help after I stayed there for the day and he told me not to bother.

It's the kitchen which is the main problem he never cleans it and it's a health hazard. and it smells too

Answer 1

Sounds like the guy is a slob. Trust me, this will not get better with time. If you are thinking about long term with this guy, expect to be the one doing all the cleaning.

Answer 2

I'm sure he doesn't really like the mess, he just doesn't like tidying. I would try not to worry about it until you get to the point where you are staying there a lot more or are thinking of moving in together. At the end of the day its his place and his mess - until its shared you really shouldn't interfere. I know its hard but you will just make him think you are moaning.

Alternatively you could take the other approach of tidying up a bit for him but this would run the risk of him expecting you to do it!!

Answer 3

too bad for you, might say hey pick this stuff up,, I keep a untidy house, I try but frankly I work 12 hours a day get home at 6 -630, make dinner clean dishes every couple of days, do my laundry, vacuum once a week, I dont have money for a house keeper, but I am a great cook and great in bed,, so if my GF wants to complain about my house being messy, I will just cut off the sex and food and keep a clean house,

Answer 4

Suggest to help him tidy up a bit. Bring over some cleaning wipes and air freshner and leave them on the counter. Make subtle hints that he should clean up a bit. If nothing happens, straight out tell him that he should consider trying to be a bit more tidy.

Answer 5

I've got a similar problem, I have an untidy roommate. I wouldn't directly tell him to clean up but I would say things like "Oh my God you're so messy!" and he would get the idea. Just let him know you really don't feel comfortable in messy places and you can guilt him into cleaning up his act.

Answer 6

You don't live there so what's the problem? Maybe he just doesn't have the time and has other priorities. That doesn't make him a bad person or boyfriend. Messy as he might be, he probably knows where everything is anyway so worry about something worth worrying about.

Answer 7

I have the same problem, the only difference is that my boyfriend comes over to my place and mess things up. I woild cook, he would eat and then leave his dirty dishes in the sink. I had a serious talk to him about it, and since then things has chnaged.

Answer 8

He'll eventually grow out of it. When my BFF lived on his own he refused to do laundry, or vacuum. He just bought new clothes, and left confetti (from the confetti egg war) all over his floor. My mom said my dad (during his bachelor days) refused to do dishes and would just buy new ones. They're both pretty clean now. Just go to ur place if u can't deal with his mess.

Answer 9

it sounds like hes going to be the way he is since mommy isnt around to tidy up for him any more, i think ur waisting ur time, if hes not willing to keep things well organized and cleaned up then whos to say how often he showers, thats just gross.

Answer 10

Some guys r by nature untidy, u cant do much about it. U may have patience and gradually put him right by motivating without making him annoyed.