Sex education , when in your opinion is the right age?

Question

I notice people are suggesting parents should teach their children from a very young age about sex. I have a 1yr old girl & she's so innocent, i'm not naive to think she'll stay that way forever but talking to her about sex at 4yrs old seems a bit extreme.Children naturally start to explore their bodies at a young age, this doesn't relate to sex in my opinion, its a solo act & is natural.I don't think i need to sit her down & tell her about masturbation, it would have made me ill if my parents had done that.
I think if you tell a child about sex they'll become interested in it, you should wait for signs or when they start asking you questions & answer it in an appropriate way for their age. Why not encourage them to be into sports, dance & music etc.
I think the birds & bees chat should be when they are closer to being a teenager & puberty kicks in, anyway until they are teenagers your not going to let them be alone with the opposite sex so whats the hurry?

Melissa- What a great answer, you've put in words what parenting should be like !

DontDoubt- I have to say when i read your dialogue for chat with your 3 yr old i felt slightly uncomfortable imagining talking that way with my girl. You are obviously very very open & i can see my way of dealing with the issue would be to make it light hearted. Also i don't think i'll discuss her clitoris, i remember discovering myself & i didn't need telling about what was going on, if i had known my parents actually knew i'd have been extremely embaressed lol

Answer 1

i have 5 children it is a myth this birds and bees talk, it is something started at birth and continues throughout there life, through conversation, example, and your lifestyle, you choose your opportunities carefully when they open the door or a situation presents itself to discuss different age appropriate topics, if you try to teach someone the facts of life in one sit down you are destine to fail, a child will hit overload, and all the info will go out the window, at four you can not buy provocative baby dolls, not dress inappropriately answer questions about where baby's come from, live a healthy life style, have a healthy relationship she can observe, respect others be respectful, go to church, get her swim or dance lessons to help her self esteem and confidence everything is connected

Answer 2

Ermm..
Well My Mum Was Really Upfront, With Everything. She Really Helped Me Through Situations. But When My Mum Talked About The "Birds And The Bees" She Always Made Sure That She Would Get The Message Accross To Me That Wait Until Your Older Enough And Dont Be Forced Into It.

I Can See What You Mean By:
" I Think If You Tell A Child About Sex, They'll Become Interested..." Because Its Like You Don't Want To Induce That Child.

I Think 16 Or Maybe 15 Will Be Best. But It Depends How The Child Is If You Know What I Mean.

Don't Know If This Has Helped Or Not

Good Luck =)
x

Answer 3

1. What is your age? 22 2. What is your religious stance? Christian 3. What is your political affiliation? None 4. What is your level of education? High School graduate 5. Given the statistic that every year almost 750,000 teenage girls aged 15 years-19 years become pregnant would you say that sex education classes in primary and secondary schools are helping? Obviously not. They need to be more graphic and bring back those films from the 50's that use propaganda. Kinda like Reefer Madness, but about sex.

Answer 4

Mariah you are absolutely right. The only thing that upsets this is perhaps playground chatter at school, when your daughter asks awkward questions Before you might think it appropriate,, or school sex awareness lessons. Schools don't always agree with parents on the best age to introduce youngsters to these subjects...It is a bit of a job as a parent trying to balance all these things. All children are different in the ages at which they develop physically and mentally...You are the best person to control and monitor things as you know your daughter best. But always complete honesty between mum and daughter is essential. She must trust you implicitly so if she runs into problems she won't hesitate in seeking your help and advice...

Answer 5

Hi there, i have a 9 yr old daughter and she wants to know everything about everything but you really need where to draw the line. My daughter was nearly 8 when i told her what she wanted to know but i made sure i only told her as much as i thought she could understand at the time. NO-ONE will know your child like you do and you must deal with this situation however you feel is right for you. I started telling my daughter things when she started asking about things she was seeing on tv. It caused a huge row with my partner as he was in the room and got very embarrassed. I told him to leave the room as he was the only person there that was feeling uncomfortable and i didnt want him to spoil a special moment with our daughter. My daughter was very comfortable with the things that where bein said as i dont find it a dirty, embarrassing thing talk about like some people do. Its a perfectly natural part of a child growing up. As for masturbation, right from being babies they`re little hands wander downstairs and i dont think this needs explaining to them, im like the other lady who answered, id have been mortified if my parents had spoken to me about this. As for the birds and bees thing, i never did understand what that was about, in fact my daughter asked me about the birds and the bees and i couldnt answer her... birds and bees together, now thats just wrong ha ha. lets keep it to mum and dad havin special cuddles eh!

Answer 6

This is the kind of talk that I have often (several times a day!!) with my 3 year old daughter. As her questions become more pointed then my answers will become more detailed. At three I don't think that she even cares about actual intercourse. What she cares about is that she is special and making a baby, because she is still pretty much one, is a very special process. What I care about is that I am setting the stage for later in depth dialoge that won't be awkward, and also for her to be an informed and savy woman of child bearing age. I want her to have good sex and also to make good choices regarding her body. The day she comes to me and asks how it all happens I'll tell her.

mom: 'Yes, daddy has a penis. Do you have a penis? That's right. What do you have? That's right, you have a 'special girl place' (what my children call their privates). What parts are in your special girl place? Yes, a place where pee pee comes out, and a place where someday a baby might come out. (my three year old hasn't discovered her clitoris yet, some three year olds have, but we'll discuss it more when she does) Someday when you are a mommy where will your baby grow? Yes in your womb, and your tummy will get bigger, and bigger, and bigger (lots of laughing now) and your husband will be so happy to be a daddy, just like yours! Can daddies make babies? (lots of big no's and lots of laughing now) That's right, because girls are very special and we have special places in our bodies to grow babies. Do we have to take good care of ourselves so we can be good mommies? Yes, we do. How do we do that? Yes, we eat our veggies, and fruit and peanut butter sandwiches and run and play. You are so smart! What else do we do? Right. We go to school and learn lots so we can be good teachers to our babies. You are the smartest girl in the world!!"

mom in a public restroom answering a question: "that box is a place where grown up ladies put their tampons when they are having their periods. That's right! You are so smart! A grown up lady gets her period when she doesn't have a baby growing in her womb. Yes, someday when you are a grown up lady you will get your period. No, boys don't get their periods. That's right, they can't make babies like girls can, they don't have a special girl place, or a womb. Yes, girls are very special!"

Answer 7

My daughter is 10 and I went through the same thing!! They actually start talking about sex education in schools now in year 5 (when she was 8/9) as they are finding that more and more girls are starting their periods at that age. It was only about 3 lessons and there was lots of giggles and yuks when she was telling me about it.

I wouldnt worry about it until she is a bit older x

Answer 8

I can guarantee one thing....they will know about it long before you realise they do. This age varies , but as sex is pushed in our faces through t.v. media pictures, magazines, by the time they are 6-7 years old they pretty much know that sex exists. Your job is to be open about sex, untangle the skewed view they will have of it from tv etc and let them know that sex exists in loving relationships. Teen years is too late to talk about it...a few are having sex....more are thinking about having sex and the rest are generally confused about the whole subject of sex. Again, its your responsibility to clear up inaccuracies they may hold regarding sex (this is why many teens gat pregnant). There nothing you can do to 'hide' sex and its the more responsible parent that guides the child. Talking about it wont make them wanna go out and do it!

Answer 9

my daughters are 5 and 7, they have books that are meant for their age range explaining some elements of sex ed, remember kids of their age all speak about it at school, thats why I started telling them about it in the first place, since they've found out what it is their interest had almost dissapeared! lol

At the end of the day I think kids should be tought from an early age, if you look at Holland who teaches sex education from primary one, the teenage pregnancies and STDs over there are really tiny compared to the UK, knowledge is power!

Answer 10

Alot of the answers i've read so far on here seem to be taking the subject of sex education away and replacing it with curiosity.
Yes 3 and 4 year olds will ask why dad has a widge and mum doesn't but that is not sex education. I think you will find that when your daughter is realy old enough to ask she will ask her mates.
Did you sit down with your parents and ask them about it Maria?
A parent will always butter the whole situation up as we don't want to come across as saying rude things to our kids.