a few blonde jokes funny or not?

Question

No offence to any blondes out there
If you do take offence MAKE SURE YOU PUT IT BACK

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband asked, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know "if the coast is clear."


Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them. "A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."

What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"

A blonde had just totalled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?" "Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped. "Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car. "Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was .... ""Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarised. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"

A blonde was driving home, and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to the repair shop. The shop owner decided to have some fun, and told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard & all the dents would pop out. So, she went home, got down on her hands & knees & started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. She blew a little harder & still nothing happened. Her roommate saw her and asked, "What the heck are you doing?" She told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow in the tailpipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. Her roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, Hello! You need to roll up the windows first!!"

Answer 1

good ones

Answer 2

every single joke was hilarious..... good job making me smile so early in the morning.
that air freshener joke was my favorite cause i had the same problem driving home from work last night..... so glad I'm not the only one, misery loves company ;)

p.s. Hilary Clinton is a dyed blond, nothing funny about her except that her ideas are swayed according to her audience and she's never once been straight forward on one idea.... well, it's hard to find a politician who sticks to their guns and isn't swayed easily by public opinion.
We do have one politician who is always clear-cut but of course that attitude of his isn't popular with many.
worrying about thoughts of others should never be the goal, for thoughts and actions are 2 very different things..... for me, actions speak volumes

Answer 3

A blonde is walking down the street with one of her boobs hanging out. A police officer walks up to her and asks, "Ma'am, you do know I could have you arrested for indecent exposure, right?" When she gives the officer a puzzled look, he points to her exposed breast, when she screams, "OH MY GOD!!! I LEFT THE BABY ON THE BUS AGAIN!!!"

Answer 4

The ones with the phone call and the mirror were cute, and the last one with the car was alright, the other ones seem to dry and predictable, I knew the ends before I was half way though them.

Answer 5

STAR 4 SURE.........one for u too.............

"How come you're late?" the bartender asks the blonde waitress as she walks in the door.
"It was awful," she explains. "I was walking down Elm street and there was this terrible accident. A man was lying in the middle of the street; he was thrown from his car. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that first-aid course; all my training came back to me in a minute." "What did you do?" asks the bartender. "I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!"

Answer 6

Funny! Ha Ha! 100!

Answer 7

Sounds alot like Paris Hilton don`t ya think?

Answer 8

lol funy

but being a blonde most of my life i heard most of them.

like how do you drown a blonde? put a mirrior at the bottom of a swimming pool

how do you drown a submarine full of blondes? knock on the door

Answer 9

Yep, very good!
One of my daughters is blonde and she'd like these jokes too! She has her 'blonde moments'!

Answer 10

Funny. Cant get a hummingbird past me.

Answer 11

Very funny. I enjoyed it. Bit long though.