Is it weird and creepy that a 61 yo man goes into a hot tub with a 6 yo and 8 yo boy?

Question

He's not a relative. He's engaged to my ex sister-in-law (their mom) No laws have been broken, so police will not investigate. He also travels to Southeast Asia for "business. " My understanding is that there is a lot of sexual tourism in that region especially for sex with young children. What can I do? She thinks it's perfectly fine.

I forgot to mention they were all naked.

mother has informed the father that she see's nothing wrong with it and that letting them watch a violent movie or rock music is far worse

Answer 1

I'm nearly this guys age and I have been hot tubing with my cousins kids of a similar age, girls. The older girl is modest and wears a suit as do I. The younger one is a free spirited little nymph that roars around the house and gardens naked. She didn't bother me last year but this summer I told her mom it was making me uncomfortable and it was time to get her a suit. I would confront the guy and tell him to put a suit on his nasty old azz and tell the mom to keep the kids suited up as well. How the guy reacts should speak volumes to his intent. RScott

Answer 2

Yes it is wrong. The Mother needs some help. Kids that young should not be in a Hot Tub to begin with. If they have a heart murmur it would kill them Two they should be wearing bathing suits.. Some people dont feel being naked is wrong. That we make to much out of it. These days with crimes against children I wouldnt trust anyone. Hot tub should be for the couple only. Get her some help and let the man know you will be checking on these kids in so many words since the Mother isnt.

Answer 3

I read your question then the answers that were posted, first I don't see where you mention rather they are naked or in swim suits though some seem to have came to a conclusion on their own. To be honest your question is valid and could sway either way. The fact that his travels lead him to Asia for business has no bearing on it though you are right in some of what you heard.

First rather in a swim suit or not, the fact of the children that young should not be left unsupervised in a hot tub. I would be more concerned with rather your ex sister in law has taught the children and have them understand the fact of "personal space" and the "no touch rule". As a parent, a grand parent, and a naturist one of the primary things our children and those who have have been around us know and understand are those rules. Arms length is personal space not to be crossed. No touch is just that, don't ask, don't let, and never do if asked. Our children and grand children have been brought up with a healthy understanding of the human body without any type of sexual involvement.

In your question is it weird or creepy? If your ex sister in law is there as well and a part of what is going on, I would have to say no that it isn't. If he's taking this upon himself all the time when she's not around I would have a higher concern and fear. You can put yourself at more rest by having him checked out. It's not that hard as we do background checks on anyone who goes to resorts that we have went to. His passport will tell you were he went, its documented as well when he travels his reason, purpose, and destination. They are becoming more and more aware in Asia and other countries of what is going on.

It might not hurt to try and discuss this with your ex sister in law, explain to her that to put your mind at rest have the children more aware and even talk with them. Children don't usually lie and if he's "touched them" I'm sure they would say something. Unless he were threatening them or trying to bribe them through a lot of gifts, again which she and you should be able to spot. Good luck and hope the best.

Answer 4

Do I think it’s appropriate for a 6 & 8 year old to be naked in a hot tub with their future step-father/their step-father? NO. But as you said, no laws have been broken. And if you present this to mom with the ‘he must be a pedophile because he visits Asia’ argument then she will likely take great offense to that (I certainly would). I’ve visited Asia before but that does not make me a pedophile.

Where’s Dad? Has he discussed this with her? If I were Dad, here’s what I’d do--I’d tell her (calmly) if she doesn’t put an end to it immediately (by making everyone wear bathing suits), I would petition for custody on the basis that she is allowing inappropriate activities to occur. And then I’d be ready to back up that threat.

Answer 5

This is not right and you are right to be alarmed. I have personal experience of this.Even psychologically speaking it isnt healthy for those boys to see this man naked.

There must be an information service in your country to do with this issue?Perhaps they are the ones to go to for advice on this? Could you make discreet enquiries if this man is known to police? He may be. He may be on the sex offenders register, though I dont know how that is in your country.

Good luck - you are right to be concerned at this.

Answer 6

Yeah, it's REALLY inappropriate that they were all naked. And a 6 and 8 year old should not be hanging out naked in a hot tub with a man like that.

He sounds like a first class pervert.

Answer 7

Their mother should of been the one to watch them in the hot tub and if that man had any sense, he would of insisted that she do just that. He would not want anyone to get the wrong idea unless there's something about him that he's not telling.

Answer 8

As long as they are all wearing bathing suits I don't see anything wrong with it. A 6 and 8 year old should be supervised in a hot tub.

Answer 9

Absoluty not! Why would their parents let them go in naked? Or him being an adult for that matter??? something is wrong with that. I could see if he was a relative and they were all in bathing suits but, naked is just not acceptable in my book. That is gross. I think their mother is screwed up in the head to let him hang out with her kids in the nude. Sounds like something is either happening or going to happen real soon. What is wrong with people??? But, if something did happen she would be the first one talking to the media saying how she can't see how anything could have happened to her kids. People are sick and if you are a parent it is YOUR JOB TO PROTECT YOUR KIDS!!!

Answer 10

You also forgot to mention that they were born naked ,as were you, and the doctor who spanked you to git the snot out of your nasal passages so you could take your first breath was not necessarily molesting you. You see, ALL naked men in the water aren't in fact molesters.
If this is actually about YOU being molested, as unfortunately,many are, get counseling, or tell us, your Y'friends, and we will comfort and advise you...if it's not...jump in the hot tub naked with them,as God originally intended, and chaperone, if you're so concerned!