SHE IS SUPPOSE TO KEEP THE BABY WHEN SHE IS BORN BUT TOLD ME THAT MY HUSBAND CANNOT PICK THE BABY UP BECUASE SHE DOESN'T WANT HIM AT HER HOME. SHE DOESN'T LIKE HIM BECAUSE HE HAS OTHER CHILDREN. HE SUPPORTS HIS CHILDREN AND IS A GOOD FATHER. SHE LISTENS TO PEOPLE WHO KNEW HIM IN THE PAST WHEN HE PARTIED HARD BUT THAT'S ALL CHANGED. WE ARE IN OUR MID 30'S AND SETTLED. SHE IS ALWAYS NEGATIVE WHEN I TALK TO HER. SHE GOSSIPS NON STOP ABOUT HER FRIENDS AND FAMILY. SOMEDAYS IT TAKES EVERYTHING I HAVE TO CALL HER. SHE TREATS ME LIKE CRAP WHENEVER SHE FEELS LIKE IT. SHE IMPOSES JUDGMENT ON EVERYONE. SHE CALLS ME WEAK AND SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE TOOK ME OUT OF HER WILL BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T WANT MY HUSBAND TO SPEND HER MONEY. MY MOTHER IS DRIVING ME CRAZY. I FIND MYSELF BEING VERY PHONY WHEN DEALING WITH HER BECAUSE I FEEL I HAVE TOO. SHE ALSO STATED THAT I CHOOSE MY HUSBAND OVER HER. ANY ADVICE WOULD BE GREAT.
2007-11-14 00:56:46 · 8 answers · asked by Danny W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your mother has no right to tell your husband he cannot pick up his child. If I was in his shoes and she persisted with this nonsense my child would cease visiting her, because my kids are rarely if ever anywhere that I am not welcome to go. You likewise need to be forthcoming with this information to your mother...this isn't some guy, but your husband, and your mother is only attempting to create a rift between you two because in some ways you're communicating to her that this is okay. She doesn't have to be convinced that his party days are behind him; she doesn't need any assurances at all because SHE isn't married to him, you are. That's all she needs to know to adjust her behavior. Adults don't encroach on the marriages of other adults no matter how well-meaning their intrusion. And, (more to the point) adults don't allow the intrusion of others into their marriages by anyone, no matter how well-intentioned the intrusion.
2007-11-14 01:28:01 · answer #1 · answered by Captain S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow, had a family member who was similar to your mom. My mom gave me the best advice ever. She said regardless of them being family or not, that is your husband and he is part of the family weather they like it or not. You need to stick by his side and show your mom that your not going to let her bully and jack her jaw about YOUR husband anymore. And it's VERY selfish of her to be stressing you out like this while your pregnant. Maybe she's not a positive person to have around right now and will probably cause way too much stress on your growing family. YOU know how your husband is, and if other people are going to pass judgement so be it. As long as he feels you are there for him and not letting your mother get to you, you will become stronger. And it's probably not healthy for your child to be around her because she will gossip to your child about his father and that is UNACCEPTABLE. I know she is your mother but she is acting selfish and unreasonable. You should let her know that. Don't threaten her with not being able to see you and her grandchild. Just simply tell her that you would rather not be around that type of environment for the sake of your marriage and your child, he is YOUR husband and he's a great man, no one judges her on things she has done, so she should not do the same.
2007-11-14 12:00:35 · answer #2 · answered by Tara A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am assuming she is taking care of your baby while you are at work?? I would hire a baby sitter or nanny. I personally would cease contact with her and when she called explain that her negativity is wearing thin. This isn't her child she doesn't get to make the rules up about who gets to pick the child up - you and your husband do. I would look into other child care options.
2007-11-14 09:11:07 · answer #3 · answered by Arin D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You chose your husband, not your family. Stick by him. Stand up for him. Tell your mom she needs to come to terms with the fact you love him. She needs to not be so selfish. Maybe she is lonely, or just unhappy and it makes her feel better to be cruel and irrational. What will she be telling the baby about his/her Daddy? I think you all need to sit down and talk it out and maybe your mom needs some medicine or counseling. Sometimes Grandbabies can change someone's heart. Don't let the stress get to you, cherish each moment with your new little one! Best of Luck!
2007-11-14 09:09:45 · answer #4 · answered by sterlinglaw23 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all why is she suppose to keep the baby? You're in your 30's, be a little more independent and stop relying on your mother. If you dont like the way she acts then stay away from her.
2007-11-14 09:02:21 · answer #5 · answered by KungFu Ninja 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your mom is probably right.He sounds(as you describe him) too immature to be a father.Keeping up w/child support doesn't make you a "good"father.LLLLLLOSER!
2007-11-14 11:37:23 · answer #6 · answered by American Avatar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not ever allow her to watch your baby. Stop all contact with her.
2007-11-14 09:04:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell your mom to piss off.
2007-11-14 09:09:15 · answer #8 · answered by Robin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋