My mom is competitive in everything. I think that because she's that way, she assumes everyone else is as well. For instance, if I were to do a bunch of chores around the house when I was visiting her, she would take that as a challenge to see who is the better Christian. She's especially competitive in relationships. My dad and I are really close but it's so stressful to maintain contact with him because she takes my closeness to him and his closeness to me that as a threat. The thing is, if she didn't, she and I would probably be close too. I don't know if this has anything to do with my mom's competitiveness, but once she yelled at me to stop exercising when she came to my room one night (I was in high school). Anyhow, I'm going home for the holidays and I don't know how to prepare myself to be in that environment again. The last time I went for a visit was after about a half a year on my own. I got really depressed. How can I help it?
2007-11-14 00:52:15 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Since you cannot change the attitude of your mom. you have to change your own tolerance level. To carry on with difficult persons in the life is an art. Try to develop it. You will be meeting hundreds of such persons in your life in future.
2007-11-14 01:27:58 · answer #1 · answered by yogeshwargarg 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the situation at home gets to a point where you feel depressed...tell your mom to back off and stop being so competitive. Sounds like mom is an attention getter and she dedicates her life to perfection. Stay in a motel if staying at home gets to you. Family members will understand especially if your mom has been like this your whole life. The relationship with your father and you sounds like she is jealous. She like attention and when it isn't pointed in her direction she finds faults with others. Just talk to her without losing your temper and if she decides to not listen, you did your best. Be happy otherwise she always wins. Show her that her antics don't get to you and live your life how you want it. This is your life, not your mothers. Best Of Luck and Cheer Up:)
2007-11-14 01:01:14 · answer #2 · answered by Military Mama due 03/09 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Limit your time with her and try to filter her behaviors that irritate you. Understand that she is who she is and its not a reflection on you as a person but a reflection of her own issues. You could try the honesty route and just tell her like it is, tell her that you really don't enjoy being with her because you feel as if she is trying to compete with you all the time. Also remember that you are only there for a limited amount of time and soon you will be going back to your own place.
As for your father, if he has his own cell phone then call him on his cell during a time when you think he won't be around your mom. Its sad that you have to do this, but your mom's behavior shouldn't effect your relationship with you dad.
Just because she is your mom doesn't mean you have to give up your mental health and well-being by being with her.
2007-11-14 01:06:42 · answer #3 · answered by justine lauren 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
actual, i do not imagine i have ever met a aggressive mom in real existence. in difficulty-free words right here on YA. It sounds to me like she is attempting difficult to make herself experience good about something that she is lacking in her own existence by ability of putting you down. that is sad. yet, for the reason that she changed into impolite i'd say something like "i trust that too many dad and mom be counted too a lot on the "large education" (air prices protected) that a private college supposedly provides and ignore that a newborn must be nurtured and taught at abode also. it really is unhappy that fogeys right now imagine that money ought to purchase each and every thing, notwithstanding it may't purchase a dad and mom love and awareness". Or something to that result. extremely pissy, definite. yet deserved. good success! Edit to characteristic: Wow, anniewog and me have a similar concept! lol, large minds...
2016-10-24 05:24:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is sad....I dont know what anyone else has said on here, but my answer to you would be that probably there are many many things in her life that you PROBABLY have NO idea about ! and that she has kept hidden from you , to protect you!
I know in my case, I would NEVER EVER discuss the fact that my daughters daddy beat me on regular basis and they would run upstairs at age three and call 911 !! and i NEVER EVER hit back, just sat there and took everything he shoved at me, EXCEPT i did stand in front of my babies..I would NEVER let them get hurt!!
After moving out of the situation he and stepmom tried so hard to make ME look like the evil one!! and i would just keep my mouth shut when they would say something to me about it...
SO who knows what she might be hiding??
Years later, they KNOW,-parts of it and as they ask me, i fill them in, but i STILL dont just tell them things to make their dad look bad. They already know...so why !?? Because its just me and its how i was raised, i guess. One day, it will all come out in the wash, and you just MAY be surprised at who really IS the hero and who really held everything together....
All i can say, i dont KNOW your situation, but please just give her a chance!!! :)
2007-11-14 01:29:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don' be. try to ignore her when she does it. tell her always yes and then do what you want to do.
on the other habd you could talk to her about it and try to find out why she is behaving like that.
tell her all your examples to make her understand. and ask from your father to help you. if she can't understand what you are saying then leave her in her own world to believe what she wants and you have to move on with your life!
good luck!!!
2007-11-14 00:59:42 · answer #6 · answered by ALEXANDRA-MARIA S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit around and do nothing.
2007-11-14 01:06:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋