I recently (within the past 2 months) started dating a guy. He's 5 years older than me (I'm 25, he's almost 30). He seemed so nice. He'd tell me how pretty I was and all that jazz. He was a little boring to me and too thin, but I looked past that since I liked his personality (his kindness, etc). He's super shy which was a little odd... I'm shy too, but not to the point he is. Well, this guy was the first person I even cared for since I broke up with my ex (broke up with my ex in the summer, it was a year-long relationship and we lived together). After some time, things finally got physical with the new guy. He's not good in bed at all and he's an akward kisser. Well, after the deed had been done (lasting literally like 2 minutes), I was still willing to give him a chance and continue seeing him since he really did seem like a nice guy, but then out of the blue, I catch him searching around on Yahoo personals, so I dumped him. He admitted he was looking around. ..
2007-11-14 00:48:58 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
After he admitted he was looking around, I knew he couldn't be THAT serious about me, so I dumped his #$$, although I felt bad for doing it. I am hurt because he seemed like such a nice guy. I usually date guys that are more aggressive than he was, but for once, I thought I'd give a "nice guy" a shot. Don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal or anything crazy over this guy, but I hold onto betrayal for a loooong time. Was I right to dump this guy and do you have any tips for my next relationship? I know I should know more about guys since I'm 25, but this one really left me confused. I know I'm not fugly, so I could get another date, but I want something real and not just some guy looking for a piece of #$$ which is what this guy turned out to be. The shameful part is he lasted 2 mins and never got me off. sad.
2007-11-14 00:53:01 · update #1
I do agree... I do make bad choices when it comes to guys. I just thought I made a good one with this guy since I cared for his personality over this looks. As for me being a bad lay, I'd have to disagree. I'm fun and well, kind of kinky. This guy even admitted to me (after the fact) that his exes would just lay there, he'd do them, and be on their merry way... no passion at all. I had that same problem with my ex and don't want to repeat it again. My ex was a nice guy but a horrible lay. Like this guy, he'd "hit it then go". I guess I just needed to vent.
2007-11-14 01:15:47 · update #2
this is sad, but ok, lets review the facts:
1. you are not physically attracted to him
2. you said he's boring
3. he's not good in bed and he's a bad kisser
4. you find him looking for another girl
what more do you need. maybe he thinks YOU'RE the one thats bad in bed. but even more than that, he was woman shopping for your replacement. If he's willing to look at other girls, he probably really isn't feeling the relationship either. You should do the same thing. I still don't understand why you cant seem to let him go if there is nothing there but him being a nice person. GET OVER IT!!!
2007-11-14 00:56:12 · answer #1 · answered by Melanie K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As I read your note I read it with interest. It seems like you really have a history of making bad choices in men. Seems like your foundation on ethics and morals is a little wacky also. Ask yourself this question? What do I really want out of a man? In 25 years from now when I will probably lose my good looks because of age where and who will I be with? I think those are questions you need to ask yourself about guys. Lots of guys are like a lot of women, they are very deceitful. They put on a great show, they get what they want and then they are on their merry way. Well I think if you would not live with guys and make them earn a respect for you that would be a start. Then getting physical, you should wait until you really know this is the right guy for you and your future. Respect yourself more and you will earn and also attract men who will respect you more also. You should set higher standards for yourself and respect yourself more. The answer is yes let this guy go, move on with your life and don't make the same mistake again, learn from it.
2007-11-14 01:07:19 · answer #2 · answered by Rooster 1972 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi!
Wow! He lasted like 2 minutes and was searching for something... "better". Nice thing you have dumped him. So that he now knows where he belongs.
I am a man and I can tell you one thing: if that happened once it will happen again. This is a principle called "the grass is greener on the other side" and applies to both, men and women.
I'd suggest to move on and find someone that's not looking around. This might mean that he's happy with you and willing to commit.
Anyway, it's just your decision to make. Take care!
Robin
2007-11-14 00:55:56 · answer #3 · answered by Robintel 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Please move on. I know you shared alot of personal stuff but this guy seems kind of weird. He also seems like the kind of guy that didn't realize what he had and starts calling you again. Maybe you should change your phone # as well just to be on the safe side. Just don't talk to him and he'll hopefully disappear. You can forgive him but what for? Not wanting you for some stupid reason? Forget him, Acknowledge that, and Move on. Good luck and stay strong.
2007-11-14 01:00:04 · answer #4 · answered by Robert L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The important thing to remember is that even if you've had bad experiences with men, they're not all the same. There are some good ones out there. Just be watchful and make them earn your trust and love. And if they don't want to do that, tell them to keep it movin'.
2007-11-14 01:08:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is one thing I learned about forgiveness. Don't even try until you know you're ready. One day you just won't care any more, and then you can forgive them.
I think you did the right thing, it wasn't a healthy sounding relationship anyway. You're better off with someone loyal and who doesn't have the flaws that you have to ignore. Everyone has flaws I mean, but major ones that clash with you in particular, avoid those.
Good luck in the future.
2007-11-14 00:57:21 · answer #6 · answered by myleslr 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
not sure you've given a question there mate! but I'm sure you'll meet someone who'll treat you right and have the confidence, body and sincerity you deserve. good luck, and keep on truckin'
2007-11-14 00:52:56 · answer #7 · answered by orhyswilliams 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think to move on is he best thing for you since he admited that he does not trust you.
2007-11-14 00:55:06 · answer #8 · answered by NATCHIC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For Men?
2007-11-14 00:52:04 · answer #9 · answered by StuartFox 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off it sounds like you two don't connect physicaly i mean two minutes! damn thats short, on the filp side in his defence thats kinda a dumb reason to break up with someone
2007-11-14 00:56:21 · answer #10 · answered by fantasticfreddy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋