Ok so my son has always been a little hyper and pushed me to my limits, but just recently he has gotten so much worse. He keeps getting into things that he knows he's not suppose to making messes everywhere and hurting his sister. Even his behavior at school has went down hill. I've punished him everyway i know how i just don't know what to do anymore. Please i need some advice i'm seriously thinking of calling a doctor for help it's just gotten that bad.
2007-11-13 23:42:15 · 12 answers · asked by The brat 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i've taken things away from him and he straightens out for a few days, and then right back to the same thing, i try and spend equal amount of time with both, but he is like me when i was a child he likes to play alone most of the time. i have tried spankings which don't seem to do much good he goes and does the same thing not even 10 mins later it's like i can't get through to him
2007-11-13 23:53:21 · update #1
Do call a doctor - hey it's ok to ask for help. Try and find out whether there is a cause behind his behaviour, whether that be lack of attention, not being heard, bullied at school, AHAD etc. Talk to his teachers at school - find out if it's anything going on there you don't know about which can be rectified and if not get a referral to a psychologist. Your GP, health visitor and teachers are fountains of knowledge - they've aways provided me with sound advice (I have 2 disabled sons) even if it's just where to go to get some help and advice e.g. Parent-to-Parent association. Maybe your school/local authority/health board run parenting-type classes or can put you in touch with other parents through a self-help group for instance. Keep your sanity and remain postive - you are not alone. Good luck!
2007-11-14 00:36:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I totally understand. Have the same problem with my 5 year old. Are you in Australia? If so, I would recommend the PPP Program. Your community health centre can advise you where you can do it. I did it 2 years ago and then after a while got slack and stopped applying their principles and techniques for behaviour management. I have been at my wits end with my kids fighting and my son hurting his younger sister too. So anyway, I got out the PPP material, went through it and even after 2 days of consistent behaviour on my part it has already made a difference. I hope you have access to this as it is really good. Good luck.
2007-11-14 07:47:28 · answer #2 · answered by Caro 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I too think that it is time to seek a doctor's help,but not for meds for someone to talk to that will understand the things that he says and the things that he does not say.It just may be that he is going though something that he too does not understand.Where 9is dad? that may be a major part of the problem,husband may not spend enough time with him and he just does not know how to express that.Good luck please remember that he is just a child with a child's mind and the only way he knows how to express his self is to get in trouble.Be a little more patient it will work out.
2007-11-14 08:33:36 · answer #3 · answered by Talithea H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids need boundaries. He apparently doesn't have any that are clear and established (the time to do that was infancy). It's not too late. You need to make a boundary, tell him the punishment for passing the boundary, then FOLLOW THRU.
Most kids like the one you describe...I've seen the parents say things like, "If you touch that, you're getting a spanking." Then the kid touches it, and the parents yell, "Hey, I said not to touch that." The child recoils, only to go off and do something else. The parent did NOT follow through with the threatened punishment.
We had neighbor boys like yours. At their house, they were terrors and were very rude and mean to their parents. At our house, they were very well behaved. Why? Because the first time they came in our house and misbehaved, I took them alone, laid the law down and then followed through. I told them not to touch certain things, the first time I caught them I spanked them and took the home telling their mother what happened. From that day forward, they respected the heck out of our house and me and my wife. The other parents even commented on how well behaved they were at our house. I just smiled.
CLEAR well defined boundaries. CLEAR well defined punishment. SWIFT execution of that punishment. And I'm not talking beating the child....one swift spanking, or grounding, or restriction. But you ALWAYS have to follow through...or the child will do as they wish.
You also need a break.
Edit: Postscript - your child does not need meds. He needs discipline and love. His passion is what will make him an awesome contributor to society. Don't muzzle that passion with drugs.
2007-11-14 07:52:32 · answer #4 · answered by Richard F 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I had this kind of a problem with my eldest. punishments didn't work - he would sit in his room doing nothing, or sleeping, rather than do what he was told. eventually the school insisted we have him tested for ADD/ADHD and it turned out he had a chemical imbalance. Medication helped him a lot and now that he is out of school, he has stopped the meds and deals with his issues successfully (most of the time).
It is really important to deal with this as early as possible, so he has a chance to learn proper study techniques, etc.
2007-11-14 08:00:35 · answer #5 · answered by Larry V 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
maybe speak to your health visitor or dr, maybe he is a bit hyperactive, certain foods set my boy off,like coke, its really hard for you maybe he is testing the boundries,maybe he has got in with kids leading him astray. i really would make an appointment or else you will get down its hard being a parent and most kids go through a stage, my daughter is an angel to others but can be awful to me, i try and spend time doing nice things and get her to talk when shes frustated, hope things work out for you
2007-11-14 08:11:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you had him assessed for ADHD and Oppositional Defiance Disorder? Also, this behavior could be attention-seeking. Do you spend time alone with him, focusing on him, such as playing games or reading to him? And when he does something good, do you reward him for his good behavior?
2007-11-14 07:47:34 · answer #7 · answered by Patti 3 · 4⤊ 3⤋
I hate to say but you have lost control of your 6 yr old and he knows it.. you need to be firm with him at all times and gain back the control you once had.,... he needs to be disicplined and he needs it now...let him know for everything bad that he does there will be consequeces to pay
2007-11-14 07:49:06 · answer #8 · answered by eyesicyblue 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I'd get outside help/ maybe not a doctor/ try a minister? sometimes something has happen that you may not now about? and it doesn't cost as much?
2007-11-14 07:46:33 · answer #9 · answered by ? 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
You have let him take control, get it back. You don't need a doctor. Be a parent.
2007-11-14 07:46:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋