she has been living alone and paying the morgage herself for 10 years. she says she earns enough to cover all the costs of living and doesnt want me to contribute. she says it doesnt cost any extra for me to stay there. her friend has told me that the reason is she doesn't want me having any "rights", or having a licence to mess the place up (i am quite untidy). she likes to feel she is in charge, which she wouldnt be if i was paying my half share. do you think this is controlling, selfish behaviour on her part? or should i just enjoy it?
2007-11-13 23:32:09 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if she doesnt want u to pay anything try buying things for the house she should appreciate u for that at least and i think she just likes to be in dependant
2007-11-13 23:38:35 · answer #1 · answered by mr & mrs b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i owned my own house, I would not want my boyfriend messing it up either. I would just ask him not to rather than pay for everything, though.
I don't think it is fair what she is doing, because I think you should contribute if you live in a house, and because her behaviour is very strange. If that is true, why can she not just ask you to keep tidy? Why does she feel that you can't be trusted with any 'rights'??
I think maybe you should have a talk and find out how she actually feels.
2007-11-13 23:58:06 · answer #2 · answered by myleslr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't have to give her money for anything. just give her a whole lot of love which is worth a lot more. and if you are living there already then contribute to making the place better just by being a handy man. I'm sure those are things she will appreciate. I'm not sure how long you guys have been together, but doesn't seem too long since she doesn't really trust you. but that can change if you reassure her of your presence for the long run. i really hope this helps out a little
2007-11-13 23:46:04 · answer #3 · answered by kittyluck 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes, girls are prideful and stubborn. She probably is so used to doing things on her own for so long, its habit. Some habits are hard to break. I would just maybe start with picking up a few groceries or items needed around the house to surprise her with. Sit down and tell her how you feel and that you would really enjoy helping her in a couple of bills. Doesn't need to be all, but at least to make it feel like you are helping in some small way.
2007-11-13 23:43:44 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Goldeluxe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People who have a more dominant personality actually fear losing control. If it is that she is like this, leave it alone. She would be psychologically uncomfortable with any other arrangement. That being said, are you bothered that she won't let you pay, or are you just curious? Food for thought, if she is more dominant in her personality this will be an issue for you both when it comes to many things in your relationship. If you understand who she is and who you are then it shouldn't be a problem.
2007-11-13 23:42:40 · answer #5 · answered by Yoda 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nicely in the event that they are residing their on a regualr bases i might ask them in the event that they have the money jointly? Or whilst do they gets a commission? If, the people are my roomates i might tell them that whats up we had a promise which you will possibly pay the electrical powered bill this time. i particularly desire on your area which you have an earnings coming in so which you will pay it. i assume remind them lower back, if no longer kick them out. all the grown people ought to contribute to the charges, they possibly activate lighting fixtures fixtures and each little thing else. Going devoid of electric isn't any humorous tale, it has in no way take place to me, yet whilst people interior the homestead initiate going devoid of it, it could deliver actuality homestead to them.
2016-10-16 11:51:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she will most likley use it against you in fights and what not.. like "i pay all the bills" ect. "you never contribute" and yes i do think it sounds like a controll issue.. but i dont know her so i cant really say.. just always make it a point to offer the money.. so you can say "i offer constantly" this way youre in the clear.. and she cant throw it in your face or hold it over your head.. so do enjoy, but always offer and always have the money on hand just in case
2007-11-13 23:41:18 · answer #7 · answered by e.kess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just pick up some groceries for the house. If she wants to feel in charge, then you might wonder if she will ever make a commitment.
2007-11-13 23:37:10 · answer #8 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if shes going to let u live there at no cost to u then u should help out a little. like grocery shopping or make her dinner. i do think that sounds a little controlling, but maybe shes just rele independent.
2007-11-13 23:42:28 · answer #9 · answered by Amerie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because when she kicks you out she won't feel bad about because you never contributed to anything anyway. Do you give her any kind of money for any of the bills.
2007-11-13 23:40:47 · answer #10 · answered by moniquee248 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋