My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. He is 31, I'm 26. I want to get married soon. How do I approach this without sounding demanding or pushy. I don't want him to ask me to marry him because I made him or because I gave him an ultimatum. Any advice?
2007-11-13 17:05:27 · 15 answers · asked by megs1bq 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Tough one. You want to get him to propose... and you don't want to make him ask you (I guess that means no manipulation either) or give him an ultimatum... I can sympathize with the paradoxical situation you are faced with.
You've been dating him for 3 years - so it's possible you have some idea of his feelings about marriage. That will have to be starting point from where you work out the answer.
Theoretically there are 5 techniques to make a person behave the way you want him to.
1. Reason.
2. Reward.
3. Use of Inside knowledge.
4. Trickery.
5. The stick - Punishment.
You know yourself & your situation best to decide which course is appropriate.
There are two books which may be useful reads.
1. "The Secret"by Rhonda Byrne. You can check this out on the web site. just Google "The Secret".
2. "The Art of War" by Sun Tzu. There are many translations. Choose a good one.
All the best.
2007-11-13 17:53:24 · answer #1 · answered by gautam 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how to make him propose, but I do know the question that will give you the answer you are looking for as far as where his head is at.
The question is :
Where do you see us in 5 years?
I asked an ex of mine that question after 5 years of dating him , His answer was simple " i don't" ....OUCH !!!!
i didn't waste another moment of my time and I moved on. and met the next guy.
the next guy who i was dating was subjected to the same question after some time of being together , His answer married with a child and I hope it is a little girl who looks like you. .........we are now engaged
money isn't an excuse to why someone can not marry. Just don't let this guy use up your life , and youth.
2007-11-13 20:34:26 · answer #2 · answered by la de da 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think guys appreciate a straight-forward manner. If you've been dating for over two years, you should be able to talk to him openly. Just ask him where the relationship is going, and mention that you really want to spend your life with him and see what his "5-year plan" is. You can't "make" him propose. But have an open conversation about it and see where he stands and let him know you're interested and ready. He'll take it from there, or at the very least you'll know how he feels about it.
2007-11-13 17:13:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 1⤋
You don't "GET" someone to propose.
Have you even TALKED to him about getting married? HINTED at it?
Bring it up one day, ask about kids, or ask something regarding you two getting married.
But don't try to "get" him to propose. Do you really want to think "i GOT him to propose" instead of "he proposed!".
2007-11-14 04:21:30 · answer #4 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell hm your Father has found a proposal for you and is pushing you to marry him
2007-11-13 20:22:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Janica - you can't push him into anything so you need to just be patient......though, how does he feel about marriage anyways? Have you guys even had a talk in the past about how you both see your relationship going?
2007-11-13 21:26:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's best to wait until he decides. I'm not saying that you will be waiting another 5 years before it happens, but my brother had dated his girlfriend for 5 years, up until last december when they were engaged. My brother did it because it's what his heart was telling him to do. They were married in October last month. your boyfriend may soon come around to the thought, and take action, but it's what's in his heart that counts. If he's ready, he'll let you know. :)
2007-11-13 17:14:01 · answer #7 · answered by LMW 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Then you leave him alone and wait for him to ask you there is really know way to do it so just be patient and wait.
2007-11-14 08:21:21 · answer #8 · answered by sexyswells42 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want him to ask you because you made him or threatened him, then keep your mouth shut and wait for him to ask you all on his own.
Otherwise, sit him down and have the "Where is this relationship headed" talk. Which most guys hate to have...
2007-11-13 17:08:46 · answer #9 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 3⤊ 3⤋
I would try and show him a ring you like online or at a store and see his reaction, if he is happy about it them just bring it up to him about what his plans are about getting married, what are his expectations? If he seems annoyed or irritated, he has not made that step in his life yet and you need to be forward with your feelings.
2007-11-13 17:09:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 5⤋