she is getting married in Australia and not the UK so she needed to include a UK bridesmaid(as a compromise for this), as well as her sister of course but I still feel shes doing this due to pressure from his family do you think I can make her see I too should be included in the bridal party?
2007-11-13 16:59:21 · 16 answers · asked by wilo_chick 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Listen my best friend has been with me for 25 years. At that point she is like a sister not just a friend. I don't think your feelings don't matter just because it's her wedding. I'm getting married next year and if i had to make a decision like that, I would hope she'd speak to me if she felt betrayed. i understand the whole it's her wedding thing but there is a limit and hurting other's and expecting them to get over it is crossing that line. Not that she would have to change her mind, but your friendship is too important to let there be bad feelings dampening the day. I would just tell her how you feel, but also be understanding about her reasons and see if there is a comprimise with which you'd both feel comfortable. I wouldn't nag her, but just have a conversation once and get it out there so you both can come to an understanding. Sweeping feelings under a rug doesn't make them disappear, it just makes them fester.
2007-11-13 17:15:09 · answer #1 · answered by bluekrush74 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think you should come out an blame "him" for you not being asked to be a bridesmaid. for goodness sake woman, maybe she doesnt value you as much as you think! just because you are a long time friend, it doesnt give you the right to be bridesmaid!
have you thought that you might have kids that would be expensive to take over to oz?
there must be a good reason for the "betrayal" as you see it... but pressuring your friend for answers could see you having a rift.. please be grown up about this, it isnt your wedding.
2007-11-14 06:38:15 · answer #2 · answered by *Mrs R* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry that you are hurt but as it is her wedding it is her final choice. Try to be understanding as often people are under huge pressure from family about bridesmaid etc. Be a supportive friend instead of thinking your whole friendship is based on whether you are her bridesmaid or not.
2007-11-14 04:31:10 · answer #3 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
YOU think of her as your best friend and you seem to feel that that entitles you to be in, and play a part in her wedding the way that YOU want to.
News Flash, IT'S HER WEDDING, NOT YOURS.
She can have it where she wants, with who she wants and how she wants.
Maybe she doesn't have the same names on her "best friend" list as you do.
I don't think that she's being pressured by anyone but you.
Be a grown up and wish her well on her special day and if you're lucky, the new couple may invite you over to see pictures of the Honeymoon when they return.
2007-11-14 01:30:19 · answer #4 · answered by Lynne W 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I honestly think that pressuring her will only make her uncomfortable and put-off. I may not be in the wedding of one of my best friends this spring because of issues with her fiance (who wants only family in the wedding). If it were me getting married and I couldn't have her in the wedding and she kept pushing it, I would be really uncomfortable and annoyed. I would just drop it.
2007-11-14 01:06:32 · answer #5 · answered by tink 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why make this harder then what it is for your friend. She obviously has enough problems with a pushy in-laws so just except her reasons and still be her friend are you invited to the wedding if so then go be happy for her . She is gonna need you as her friend.
2007-11-14 16:26:42 · answer #6 · answered by sexyswells42 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's HER wedding, not yours. Sorry, but you don't get to decide if you should or should not be in the wedding. I can understand where you might be hurt, a little. But honestly, you have no reason to be hurt. She needs a friend right now, more than she needs someone else in her life giving her grief about who her bridesmaids are.
2007-11-14 01:33:21 · answer #7 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Since this is her and her fiance's wedding you really cannot make her do anything. She is only half of the equation. You can tell her how you feel though. If you do that, you are going to have to be ready to accept whatever decision she makes.
2007-11-14 09:56:48 · answer #8 · answered by vaya 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there for her as not all weddings go to plan anything and everything can go wrong at the last moment , Groom takes off, Bride runs away with best man , even finding out about a former marriage if one overhears things that may have affect a wedding, The Bride seeing the groom with another woman before they say I do
So many things can and do go wrong when you least expect it.
2007-11-14 01:24:28 · answer #9 · answered by the.texican 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Don't be upset - and don't push her.
Be thankful - she just saved you from a boat-load of stress, financial expenditure and drama. Help her where she needs help and be there for her - like you have been for the last 20 years.
2007-11-14 01:12:01 · answer #10 · answered by twentyseven 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋