My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2.5 years. We've been talking about taking our relationship to the next level and getting engaged. I'm still in college and he's worried that when he asks my mom she won't want us to get engaged until I graduate. We're both worried that even though we're both ready, the people in our lives will not bless a two year engagement. We're worried that others will make us feel that our decision is wrong....we need answers!
2007-11-13 16:39:15 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Go for it! My husband and I dated for 5 years before we were married and were engaged for 2 years. If you are right for each other, it won't matter whether you're married or not, you still are still together in your hearts as if you were. I think that finishing college first is the very best thing that you can do for your future! Congratulations and remember, do what *you* feel is right for you and your soon-to-be husband!
2007-11-13 16:45:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been engaged for almost a year now (next month will be a year.) I think that 2 years would be the max to be engaged. I'll be engaged for almost a year and a half by the time I'm married. I guess it depends on you and your boyfriend.
Also you should talk to your mom and see what she would think about it. You never know, she may approve! If not, ask her why and maybe she can explain or you two could talk about it.
2007-11-13 17:22:49 · answer #2 · answered by Lauren 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I want to commend you for NOT rushing into marriage and being level headed. I was engaged almost 2 1/2 years because we did not have jobs and/or benefits. I did not like the idea of a long engagement but God got us through it and we are married 14 years and still going strong.
Finish your education first because that is important many I know got married and never finished school. My sister in law did that and it took her twice as long to get her bachelors degree her mom which is my mother in law would not give the blessing of the marriage unless she finished school, had she waited and finished school they would have saved a lot of extra money but she has her teaching degree and doing well.
I would strongly recommend get your degree and THEN start talking about being engaged. and after you are engaged start thinking short to medium range of a 6 month to a year courtship.
Get your house in order meaning get jobs, save money finish your education and then concern yourself about being engaged. Dont take your relationship to the next level if you have to wait around for 2 years that is frustrating because you are not excactly his girlfriend but not quite his wife.
I think it is wonderful that you do want to be commited but trust me on this being engaged is not the same thing as being married, if you are young which I think the both of you are dont get the ball rolling if you have no where to go. FINISH SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And yes your mom is 100% right about you not getting engaged until you graduate.
That is practical. True love plans and true love waits don't be deceived that you have to "hurry up" and get engaged listen to the counsel of your parents. Best wishes e4g
2007-11-13 23:54:09 · answer #3 · answered by encourager4God 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had a three in a half year engagement and well, it has not been easy. I am finally down to 7 months as of tomorrow.
My fiancee proposed to me my Freshman year of college and it did not go over well with my family because it was to soon with school and such. So, he proposed again with a ring this time last year in November and my parents said just promise to wait to get married until graduation. Which we are. My family wants me to wait a few months after graduation, but it is too long. It all depends on how you tell your parents about it. Just let them know you will wait until after you graduate to get married. Good Luck!
The wait is the hardest part!
2007-11-13 16:50:37 · answer #4 · answered by jchrist81285 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend of 2.5 years just proposed to me a week and a half ago. We're both sophomores in college, and we're looking at a 3 and a half year engagement because he's in a five year program, so that's how long it will be till we both graduate. Both our families are thrilled. He asked my parents' blessing beforehand, and they told him that as long as we waited till after college to get married, they were fine with it.
2007-11-13 16:48:08 · answer #5 · answered by sarai_kristi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The point isn´t blessing the two years relationship, I feel the point is... you graduating!... Why don´t you finish what you started,,,maybe after you get married things won´t be the same, maybe...and get a little bit more complicated. I´m not saying that you won´t make it, of course you can and will be so proud of it...but
Why hurry?..
Finishing things give you a sense of accomplishment. And then you go ahead with the next challenge. I´ve always seen it that way,,,and it had worked!
2007-11-13 16:54:16 · answer #6 · answered by jackielafemme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If anything your family and friends should be glad you are not rushing into marriage. Although some will thank you are not serious if you plan on waiting that long. Ultimately you are talking about one of the biggest decissions you will make in your life and you need to do what the two of you want to do for your life together. This will give you time to graduate and to plan for and save for the wedding you may want.
Kathy
2007-11-13 16:47:36 · answer #7 · answered by c2god2 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was engaged to my husband two weeks after I met him, and married him exactly seven months after I met him. Nobody supported my our relationship (my parents didn't even come to the wedding) However I do not regret a thing and couldn't be happier (everyone came around and now they love him as much as I do)
My point is is that it is your life and you should do what makes you happy and not worry about anything or anybody else, it doesn't matter if you want to be engaged for 20 min. or twenty years what is right for you is right for you!
2007-11-13 16:46:08 · answer #8 · answered by JWilridge 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to worry about what others think. Personally, I think that after 2.5 years, you either need to get married (or engaged) or move on. You should know by then if that is someone you'd want to spend the rest of your life with. It's YOUR life, not your mother's or your friends or other family members. If they don't approve, it's THEIR problem not yours. You can't live your life the way other people think you should.
2007-11-13 16:43:47 · answer #9 · answered by First Lady 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I personally don't see much point in having a long engagement. Why not just wait to get engaged? But, that's just me. If you want to have a two year engagement and it works for you, then do it. You're an adult - don't let your parents' feelings influence what is best for your life.
2007-11-13 17:10:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋