Hey parents how would you feel if?

Question

your 17 year old daughter has been sleeping with her 20 year old boyfriend for 6 months now?

Answer 1

well i would be alittle dissapointed that she didnt come to me first to talk about it and i would try to build our relationship its all about trust

Answer 2

you know what my daughter now 21 and she was sleeping with a guy when she was 17 look i dont agree with it and i never will i am from the old school
however if they are going to do it they will find somewhere and somehow to do it behind your back
you can only keep them safe for so long and you make sure of that
i tried to protect her but you cannot be there all the time
have faith that she is doing the right thing and that she will turn to you at the right time
it is hard as a parent and no-one will tell you any different, that's if you are the parent and not the 20 year old that she is sleeping with ??

Answer 3

17 huh. Nothing you can do about it now. When I was 16 I was sleeping with my 21 yr old boyfriend. Looking back , it wasn't the brightest Idea I ever had but at 16 my hormones were raging. Unfortunately, there is nothing much you can do. The more you fight it the more she is going to want to be with him (b/c my parents just don't understand me) I remember saying it all and when my parents caught me I moved out. I caused alot of heartache and I am deeply sorry for it now but back then all I could think about was him. Most states the legal age is 17. My parents raised me right but we all make mistakes and most of the time we will not listen until we make our own mistakes. Hopefully you raised her right and she will make good choices but unfortunately you willl have to let her make them. Coming from a 29 yr that has been happily married for 8 years with a son that is almost 7. (learned the hard way after 5 years that the 21 yr. was not the one for me.)

Answer 4

While I don't have children in the house right now, and granted, I have had none of my own, I still would like to answer this question...............

I would be very hurt and p i s s e d at the same time. Then I would try to talk with her, and hope it was at least protected sex, etc...that she learned from the lessons taught and was making the right choice. If she wasn't on the pill...and or hadn't been to see the obgyn yet...we would be making one of those appointments, too...as it would be explained, if you are going to play the game, you have to play by all the rules.

I know in some states, there are 'rape' issues because of age differences, but the fact remains, she is only one year away from 18--or less. If the situation is not handled properly, things could get out of hand, ie she could get pregnant, she could drop out of school, she could run away/move out...the list is endless.

There was a time if I saw this question, say 5 or 6 years ago, I would have been like kill the boyfriend, ground her til she was 30...just totally jump off the cliff so to speak. But really, jumping off the cliff after pushing her off the same cliff really does nobody any good...now does it?

Answer 5

I don't see anything wrong with a 17 year old sleeping with a 20 year old. You are old enough to make that decision at that age. And that is only a 3 year difference in age which is not unusual. I would just talk to her and make sure they are using some form of birth control. If the parents get mad and yell at her it is just going to make her do something to retaliate.

Answer 6

That's Rape for 1. I'd be pissed, but theres not much I can do about it. She's seventeen and a lot of her morals and ideals are already shaped. I obviously don't know her very well if this has been going on for 6 months. I personally would sit her down and ask her about what she truly thinks about the situation and what she thinks about her future, you know get to know her better, it's a responsibility a parent should have. Every teen is going to hide themselves form there parents that why it should be the parents responsibility. But I personally still think the 17 year old girl made a bad decision and should come to realize why. I'm only 18 though so I don't personally have any expierience in parenting.

Answer 7

My 15 year old daughter slept with her 17 year old boyfriend...and it broke my heart. We had talked so many times about waiting, and she reassured me she would. We talked about her letting me know before she did it...all those talks. Well...I let her go to her boyfriends house, with parent supervision to watch a movie. Mom went to work, dad played on computer, and my daughter lost her virginity upstairs.......she told me, it was the worst thing she ever done, and now she regrets it, because the guy she loved more than anything turned out to be a loser, and so I really do feel like she realized I was right. I am mad at myself for putting her in that position. She has'nt done it again.....that I know of. She always says she wishes she had her virginity to give to someone special. Lifes lessons are hard.

But statutory rape...not applicable, because she is not 16 or under.

Answer 8

You know that is a tough one because there isn't much age difference, but yet the daughter is only 17. I guess it would depend on the situation. If you approve of the relationship to start with then you had to have known the likely hood of sex between people their ages.

Answer 9

Well my sister is 17 and she's been sleeping with her 20 year old boyfriend for about a month now. My mom doesn't know and I'm betting she'd be pretty mad if she found out.

Answer 10

At some stage in a childs life you have to step back and let them have their wings. My children are only little but I dread that age with a passion - especially cause I have 2 girls. But when that time comes I think I would look back at what I was like at that age and have a talk with her about contraception - you dont want to push her away, but you need her to know you will be there for her.

Answer 11

Looking at it from her point (being 17 and all) I would hope that my parents wouldn't be too upset. Granted no one wants to hear that there child is no longer a virgin (especially their daughter), times are changing it's quite common now.
Looking at it from a soon to be mom's point, I would probably be rather p!ssed off. I would probably want to casturate the boy. Hopefully when it comes to that point in my daughter's life, she will feel comfortable enough to confide in me and I will remember how I felt at her age, and try and remember that I need to look at it from her point of view also.