When we were growing up we were very afraid of our dad.When I was a teenager i very rebellious and gave my dad a hard time and at this stage in my life i found out that he was having an affair with a lady who was in the same church.My mum knew about it but made the decision to accept it and chose not to leave him cos of us...the family.So for the past ten years he has been having this affair.After confronting my mum about this i decided to back off.And since then my relationship with my dad is bad .We dont talk at all even though we live in the same house.I hate what he is doin to my mum but just maintain respect for him cos im living under his roof.Nw the thing is dat he is butting into my private life by asking my friends what type of person i am and basically giving them a negative impression of me.He is clearly not happy with the way i live my life and forgets about the dirt that he does!His actions have destroyed the family.Wat must i do bout him cos a confrontation would be ugly!
2007-11-13 16:23:49 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Are you 18? Once you turn 18, leave and go off on your own. Seriously! AND, only you can give your dad the opportunity to speak with your friends. Keep your friends away from your house and away from him. It isn't that hard to do...
2007-11-13 16:55:06 · answer #1 · answered by Dina K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you confronted your mom about his affair, you upped the ante on the aggression... you became the target.
You need to play "keep away".... keep your friends away from the house. Your life goes on the DL as far as your parents are concerned.
Keep a low profile while you are at the house... you do your chores and eat dinner, and then go to your room to study. Do the basics so you stay out of trouble.
You might consider going to a friend's house to study, or get an after-school job when you can... any legitimate excuse to be away on some weeknights and weekends. Bank any money you make so you can bail out of there when you graduate.
2007-11-13 18:07:13 · answer #2 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the positive point "your father asking your friend what kind a personality are u!" maybe he trying to get know u, his own daughter, maybe he want to be more close to u, but he did know how, cause he felt that he wrong and u might doesn't want to have a conversation with him, he confuse how to start it.
my Father also have affairs with another lady, in the end my parents are divorce.
try to talk with your father what u felt about him (but u need to prepare also what he didn't like from u) argue can't be avoid.
but both of u already said the things that u keep on heart! told him u dislike the he treat your mother! does your father ever thing, how bout if it happen to his daughter, why he can falling in love with that lady an having affair! if u have an open mind u will be able to talk with your father more mature.
2007-11-13 17:45:26 · answer #3 · answered by Reinildis 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You asked why is your dad like that. Well, how would anyone know except for your dad? Ugly or not, sometimes in life you have to face your problems to get to the bottom of things. If it's that terrible to talk to him, then maybe you should just move on with your life. And if he's pestering your friends then file some restraining orders.
2007-11-13 16:51:22 · answer #4 · answered by topakat11 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would confront him and let him know that you are aware of his affair and how it makes you feel. Especially an affair going on in church, that is sacrilegious. How dare him trying to judge you and question your character.
There are certain ways to conduct yourself and always speak respectfully. Maybe you could speak to the minister or pastor of the church. Many of us don't like our parents or the things they did, and hopefully we grow into much better people than the example they have given us.
2007-11-13 16:43:21 · answer #5 · answered by perrisgal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is really sad to be in such a situation. but don't loose courage, concentrate on your studies, become independent and take care of your mother and siblings. so many mothers tolerate this kind of (and many other abuses also) torture for the sake of their children. with a lot of patience they bear the pain caused by their husbands. have faith in GOD, pray to Him, and try to love your father. may be it will take time for him to know what he does is wrong. but surely he will realise it. leave it in GOD'S hands. may GOD bless you.
2007-11-13 16:42:04 · answer #6 · answered by v k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him how you feel and make it plain you want the
conversation to be pleasent and not confrontional
2007-11-13 16:33:53 · answer #7 · answered by Jerry S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋