should I let him cry?

Question

my son is over a yr old and still only sleeps about 20 minutes at a time from midnight to 6, and has an hour nap in the late morning. (the doctor says he's fine)
My family is all saying I need to leave him cry it out for a few days, and that seems wrong, but frankly Im so tired I doubt my ability to judge.
Any advice?
Thanks

Answer 1

How would you feel if you were only getting 20 minutes of sleep at a time? Well I guess you know since you're getting up with him. He needs to learn to sleep well and deeply.

It's hard but you really do just have to let him cry at this point. I don't agree with CIO when they're just little babies because there are studies that show nursing babies benefit from being fed overnight because they produce more prolactin, but around 10-12 months it's not necessary anymore, the danger of SIDS is passing, and it's really time to lay down the law (before they can climb out of the crib on their own) and help them understand bedtime is bedtime.

After 11 months of getting up every 2 or 3 hours to nurse or soothe him, I let my son cry it out for 2 nights in a row, and on the 3rd night he slept 11 hours straight. He continues to do so and takes a 2 hour nap every afternoon like clockwork. He won't even take a nap with me in my bed, he wants to be in his own crib. My husband refused to let me let him cry it out (not that he ever got up with the kid or anything), so I did it when he went away for a hunting trip. I would have lost my mind if I had to go another month without a good 8 hours sleep most nights.

Check out this article http://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-sleep-training-cry-it-out-methods_1497112.bc. There's more than one method to the madness.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Before I would let a baby that young just cry you want to make sure there no real problem. Had I found out that my child was in good health and maybe jus a little spoiled from being held allot I would find methods of reducing his crying....i.e. letting him/her cry so that they understand they cannot be held all the time. Parenting is a huge thankless job and the crying is the easy part.
But as I have stated make sure there is nothing wrong.

Good luck on a Good nights sleep!!!!!

Answer 3

I would set up his room really cool, my son always slept with the window open just a crack even in the dead of winter for fresh air and just have extra blankets just in case he got cold.

Put a nightlight in his room so that it isn't dead dark in his room. Have a few toys in his crib or toddler bed that he can entertain himself until he gets tired. Read to him before he goes to sleep, establish a routine in the evening, like a warm bath with Johnson and Johnson aromatic body wash for babies, feed him well, I used to put on soft rock music on in my son's room or some soft piano music to help him sleep through the night. It really helped my son sleep. You can try these, it may or may not work. I would establish a quiet time before bed. I used to sleep when my son was asleep, or if I had the energy to clean the house well and maybe if I had time watch a movie and had my quiet time to rejuvenate.

My son was napping 2 times a day at a year old, for a good hour and a half each nap. He got up at 6am had a nap at 9-10:30am and then another nap from 2-3:30pm then went to bed by 7:30 at the latest. I always read him stories and had a quiet time about half hour before his bedtime...

If you want to let him cry, let him cry no longer than 10 minutes maximum, there could be something else wrong, like he is hungry or he is wanting some comfort or if he isn't feeling well. Use your intuition. Babies that age cannot talk to express themselves other than crying.

Answer 4

the cry it out method works like a charm but is SOOOO difficult, i know!! When he starts crying, give him about 5 min. then go and comfort him some how WITHOUT picking him up, speak softly, but confidently, they sence your emotions, tell him mommy loves him, everything is fine and you'll be back in just a few min to check on him again! then 5 min later do the samething then 5min after that, then 5 after that and so on until he sleeps. Most important, remain CALM, just plan on the night being kinda rough and expect it so it wont be so hard to deal with when you are doing it! Remind yourself he is crying only because he wants you to be holding him, not because there is somthing the matter (unless things don't seem right, you are his mom, you will know). And be consistent, babies and children NEED that! They say, and my experience was it takes on average about 3 nights is all!! So put it on your calender, three nights from now you maybe able to expect a nights sleep, that will help encourage you! Good luck!! I totally know what you are going through! You'll do great!!

Answer 5

If the doctor says he's fine and you know he is not sick, hungry, or has a dirty diaper, then yes, you need to let him cry. Just check on him the first time, then tell him you can't hear him crying when you are sleeping and you are going to sleep now. Let him cry himself to sleep and after a while he will realize that you will not be there at his whim and he will learn to be more independent. I'm glad that you don't take him in the bed with you, otherwise, he'll always cry until you go and get him. If you are taking him in your bed, then that is your problem and it has to stop!!!

Answer 6

the experts say the best way to get your child to learn to put them self's to sleep is to let them cry it out. how ever this is the hardest thing for a parent to do. some times you may think your baby is waking up when he is actually going Thur a phase of very light sleep. he could be squirming, fussing, or even crying and still be asleep. or he may be awake but on the verge of drifting off again if left alone. Don't make the mistake of trying to comfort him during this moments; you'll only awaken him further and delay him from going back to sleep. Instead if you let him fuss or even cry a few minutes he'll learn to get himself back to sleep w/out relaying on you. Some babies actually need to let off energy by crying in order to settle into sleep or rouse themselves out of it. As much as fifteen to twenty minutes of fussing wont do your baby any harm. Just be sure he's not crying out of hunger or pain, or because he's diaper is wet. Though it may be difficult just to let him cry for even a minute or two, you and he will be much better off in the long run.

I hope this helps good luck.

Answer 7

Well, I'll throw in the lone vote for NOT letting him 'cry it out'. If he's waking up after only 20 minutes of sleep, something is wrong and letting him cry isn't going to fix it. Is he too hot, too cold, in uncomfortable pj's, frightened, lonely? You might consider letting him sleep with you for a while so you can both get some rest.

Answer 8

a lot of times children that age wake up because they have bad dreams or they roll over and they are not comfortable, stuff like that. You just have to let him be and he will go back to sleep. At first you might think its hard but with you not getting much sleep you will love when he changes

Answer 9

Let him cry it out, most kids go thru that phase. some will cry to get up because they know you will come. It is very hard as a mom to do this but in the long run you will be thankful and he will learn to comfort himself.

Answer 10

It seems like I have been answering this question alot lately. Many parents struggle with their child's sleeping either because they don't want to hear their child cry (it is difficult) or because they have let their child sleep with them and now want to transition them out of the bedroom.

I am including a link to a website with directions on how to develop a sleep schedule.

Good luck. It won't take very long if you stick with it!

http://www.parenting-ed.org/handout3/Specific%20Concerns%20and%20Problems/bedtime.htm