catholic and lust?

Question

I am totally lusting over a man at chuch. I am married and will never do anything. However I find myself thinking about him and looking for him at chuch. During mass when it was time to exchange peace, he winked at me and held my hand so gentle. My husband will not let me live this down, he refers to him as winky. My husband knows I am attracted to this man, but he knows that's where it ends. Help!! How do I stop lusting over him. Do I need to change church? Should I talk to a priest about this. I have prayed and although it helps, it's still there.

Answer 1

WHAT?? Repent and go to confession!!

I'm sure you know how harmful that kind of thing is... Be grateful for the husband God gave you! Be faithful and loving to him. Perhaps consider that that man just wanted to be friendly by winking at you. People have been gentle and winked at me too at church, but it doesn't mean there is physical attraction. Consider that that man might not like being lusted after, if only he knew your thoughts! I'm sure you know that lust is a sin, it is POISON to your soul! Do not underestimate the power of the enemy to get to you in subtle ways either. It is obviously harming you spiritually and has the potential to harm you and others in different ways as well. That is what sin does... that is why it is sin. STOP NOW...

Here is a rebuke when you come across temptations or lies from Satan...

"Be gone, Satan! Never tempt me with your vanities. What you offer me is evil. Drink the poison yourself!!"

A Benedictine sister gave that rebuke for me to say when forces have come against me, trying to stop me from becoming Catholic, so that I could not better serve my Lord...

Don't give up... I will also keep you in my prayers.

Answer 2

Being married does not mean we can't acknowledge people of the opposite sex as attrative. But lusting over them, especially in the manner you've illustrated in your question, is not good.

the best way to avoid sin, especially those sins you are proned to weaknesses to, is to avoid the circumstances that lead to these sins. Perhaps you should consider sitting in different pews at Mass, away from this man. The less you see him, the less you will lust after him.

Lust is dangerous because fornicating requires one (two actually) to do "something" under illicit circumstances. All it takes to commit the sin of lust is a mere "dirty" thought.

Lust however, left unchecked, can lead to adultry.

Yes, pray. Yes, seek the counsel of a priest. Yes, distance yourself from this person, even if it means changing the Mass you attend or even the parish.

REALITY CHECK: Brace yourself. You're in for a fight. Our society does not lend itself tolerant of people that seek the moral highground. Indeed, society is conducive to fighting lust.

Answer 3

You may have a crush on him, but it is probably just a physical attraction [correct?] because you know nothing about this man ... not even his name.

Physical attractions are pretty harmless [because you have no intimate connection w. him].... and chances are if you did get to know him, you would probably realize that your husband is much more exciting to you. :)

Just the same, try forcing yourself to NOT look for him. Hold your husband's hand when you see him [to send the message you are not interested in straying], and sit as far away as possible.

If the feelings do not subside w/in a month or so, perhaps changing to a new church would work : )
Good luck!
:)

Answer 4

No you don't need to change church and no you don't need to pray about it. All you need is common sense. Wake up and smell the burnt coffee! The only reason you are lusting after this guy is because YOU WANT to. It is not something you cannot control or something with a mind of its own. It has a mind alright, its your mind. For some reason you are looking for excitement outside your marriage and you have told yourself it is ok to do continue on this path. You need to decide who you are and what you stand for and if that person is someone who starts down the path that you are gladly trotting down, then power to you.

Answer 5

You need to leave the church.

Here are some steps
1) Repentance involve turning away FROM sin AND turning towards the Lord Jesus. You need to pray for grace.
2) Confess your sins to Jesus, only His precious blood shed at Calvary can cleanse you, and deliver you from the spirit of lust.
3) Read the Bible, use the King James Version
4) If you talk to the priest, you WILL make matter worse.
5) If your husband already know what is going on, why not ask him to leave the church with you? Go to a Bible believing Church.
6) If you want, I pray for you ......may God have mercy to deliver and save all your souls.


Shalom
.

Answer 6

Congratulations you are a hot blooded lady.It happens to most every girl.Do not let it escalate.Ignore this sexy man.Make love to your husband more and pray to Jesus to help you know how much more your husband means to you than the looks of a strange man that you know nothing about.
You cant tell a book by it's cover.

Answer 7

It is sinful for you to lust after another man, and the your husband allowing this, and even teasing about it, is sin as well.

I would suggest repenting in prayer, and speaking to your priest or another in the church. Continual sin of this nature is destructive, and the church should know in order to be able to keep it pure.

You will be in my prayers.

God bless

Answer 8

Think about other things, you seem to have to much idle time and the devil uses that against you, also bring it up in confession.

Answer 9

sounds like your hubby isn't "doing it" well enough to satisfy you, it may seem dirty, but it's a common behavioral characteristic, even though you don't act on the feelings, you have them because you are HUMAN....I would definitely recommend switching churches if the attraction is making you uncomfortable (and likely p***ing your hubby off too)

Answer 10

personaly i think this is human nature nd there is nothing u can do it will fade in time but only wen u get bored of the fantasy yr not doing any thing wrong nd there isnt much god can do after all we r human nd yes i know yr religion says its wrong bla bla but like i said realisticaly wat r u gona do change churches nd yr probably likely to find another guy to lust over your faithful your honost with your husband wat more can u do.