Is this wrong of me to ask of my siblings?

Question

I am executor of my mom's estate and I want my brother and sister to pay an equal portion to pay off the home and also the legal fees. We all got equal shares of a life insurance policy. We each got six figure's so I don't see a problem. But I don't want conflict so I am hesitant to ask. But the legal fees is no negotiation, I expect to be helped.

Right now I feel like my whole family with the exception of my grandparents and my girlfriend, have moved on with their lives while I am stuck to pick up the pieces. Why do I have to come begging to my own family for help? My life is on hold right now and I have had to take a lot of time off of work to handle the estate. I am tired! Is it too much to ask for a little financial piece of mind? I spend the week working and handling estate issues and then on the weekend's my girlfriend and I go through my mom's paperwork and belongings. Nobody else really seems to give a shyt. I'm not angry at them just frustrated and disappointed.

As far as the legal fee's I am talking about the lawyer, not court fees. And the money we received did not go through probate since it was life insurance with designated beneficiaries so that was out of my control.

Answer 1

I'm soo sorry about your mom. I lost my mom nearly 9 years ago. Where as we didn't have the financial burden ( my day has the will) we did have the nastiness of my sisters taking EVERYTHING and leaving the rest of us with crap.
As far as the legal issues, they should not expect you to pay for it all. They should help and I wouldn't take NO for an answer. Just because your mom made you executor of her estate, doesn't mean you should have to pay for all the left overs.
I truly am sorry. I wish I could give you more information.
I'll be praying for you, I do understand.
Jeanna
Psalm 27.1

Answer 2

You should not disburse any money to anyone until the fees are completely handled... that way everyone gets what is left after costs.
In this case, if you already paid out their share of the insurance, you need to go back to them and ask for a check written out to the law firm for their share of the total amount. Shake them down!

Why pay off the home? Why not have an estate sale to get rid of the stuff, get the house cleaned up and then sell it, and pay out any profits from that AFTER all the fees.
If you hang onto the house, you are still staring at property taxes and upkeep.

Quite frankly, you are due some kind of compensation in exchange for handling all of this. You were left holding the bag. Quit being a doormat.

Answer 3

By all means ask! Sometimes people just make mistakes and inadvertantly leave someone out. It happened with my daughters upcoming wedding. Two of the grooms aunts were at the bridal shower and asked if they would be invited to the wedding too. At that point, all the invitations were already out, those two were just somehow missed. And they were both included on the guest list, just a mistake in checking off names against invites filled out. Or, the post office made an error. But my daughter and the grooms mother were both mortified when they heard that they didn't receive invites to the wedding.

Answer 4

If your sibs will benefit from the sale of the home, then by all means, they need to help. If not, then whomever inherited the house would rightly be responsible.
Lets see...IF YOU DONT ASK, THEY CANT SAY YES.
If they choose not to help you, then I suggest you go ahead and take care of business so you can get on with your life. I'm sorry for the loss of your Mom. Perhaps you can take a little time to grieve before you finish up these matters.
HUGS

Answer 5

If there is an estate filed in probate, the legal fees come off the top before any disbursements so you don't have to worry about that.

Answer 6

all of the legal fees should be taken off the top of any money taken in by the sale of the home personal belongings etc.
the estate has to pay these bills and that's where the money comes from.

Answer 7

Why do you want to pay off the house???
Why not just sell it as it is?
Yes, they do and will help you pay the legal fees.
The best thing you can do is get an attorney if your brother and sister are not listening to you. He/she will make a believer out of them REAL fast.

But remember, as executor of your mom's estate you are the one who is suppose to do all the dirty work. If you don't want to do it, an attorney will do it all for you.

Answer 8

No and they should feel obligated to help as well. It'll only be greedy on their part if they don't help. It's not about money in their pockets, *or at least it shouldn't be* but the fact is, they share the same mother right? Then why should you be worried about asking.

I say ask them to help. It's ridiculous for you to do that on your on. And you have every right to be frustrated and disappointed and angry. This was all of your mother, and they can't even help?

Answer 9

These cost should have been deducted from the estate before you have them those six figure checks.

As executor you are expected to do all the crap work. At least you know it was done right.

Answer 10

There should be no reason why you can't ask your family for help.
You just lost your mother for criminy sake.
Your siblings should be coming to ask You if you need help.
They should not leave the financial up to you and take the money and run.
The money from the insurance should pay for the things needed to be paid and then split between you and your siblings. That way no one is financially straped.