What do you do when you are lonely?

Question

What do you do when you are lonely?
all of my friends have boyfriends except me
At first it didn't bother me but now I'm really feeling the sting of loneliness and I don't like it.
I don't really want a boyfriend at the moment because I have gotten hurt very deeply by this guy I used to talk to not too long ago
I am still hurting but at the same time i wish I had someone to talk to...

Answer 1

While in my 20's, I was involved in a relationship with a man that I loved to death. I would have given him children if he said it would make him happy. In the process of trying to make him happy, I forgot about me, and needless to say I was crushed when I found that he "fell in love with a stripper". I couldn't understand it, I'd broke up with my boyfriend for him, we spent every second together, we where lovers and best friends, He was perfect. My world came crashing down when he told me that she was everything he ever wanted in a girlfriend, and later a wife. He even invited me to the wedding! And like a fool I was going to go to show him how good of a friend I was, and that I supported him. I believed I would never find a man like that again, and I was going to be lonely for the rest of my life. I was down on myself, I felt like there was something wrong with me because I couldn't keep a man, I even had envy towards all my friends who had someone because I didn't.

But a friend of mine (meaning god) helped me come to the realization that everyone you meet in your life cross your path for a reason. It's to learn a something from them, may it be good or bad. And when their time is up in your life you have to be able to let those people go by living, learning, and moving on. God will tear away from us the very things we try so hard to hold on too. Not realizing that when we move on to the next level in our lives, some of those people that have crossed our paths, are not meant to go on that journey with us.

Reflect on the experiences you had with him, how he made you feel, the ups and downs in your relationship, and how you think you have changed after being involved in a relationship with him. Add those things to your “book of wisdom” as you mature from a woman of inexperience, to a woman of understanding. Soon you'll understand why that boyfriend was just one chapter in your book of life that you have to learn to turn the page on. The experience you've gained with him aids you in knowing yourself better, and helps you determine what's healthy for you and whats not, what you will and will not put up with in a relationship, and what you expect when involved with someone on both an emotional and physical level.

Over half the women I felt jealousy towards ended up divorced, starting over again at the later stages in their life, with children to worry about, picking up the pieces in a life they portrayed as being perfect. remember the saying “the grass is always greener on the other side”? sometimes we may think people in marriages and relationships are happy, but you never know what goes on behind closed doors. Take this time on your own to “find yourself” you've been so wrapped up in this man that you forgot about you. Find hobbies to get into that will take your mind (even if briefly) of the fact that your now single by getting on line and looking for gatherings, concerts, or plays that will make you available to meet people other then the ones in your circle of friends. Stop concentrating on what someone else has, and start looking at what you want to have by making yourself available to those who are looking for the same things in life that you are looking for. Don't worry about old dude, he'll realize what he had when the woman he's with now shows him that she's not the woman he thought she was. Trust me, it always happens that way.

Answer 2

Hey, everyone feels lonely sometimes. Don't get a guy just to ease your loneliness or you could be in for more heartbreak.
Why don't you join a local group - eg sports groups if you are into it. Or learn a new activity, skill - you could make new friends. If you don't want to do any of the above - try to make on line pen pals. Just writing or talking to someone is a good way to ease loneliness.
I would suggest you start a facebook group and add new friends, find out about their lives etc.
Try to do charity work -volunteer for a good cause - it will definitely uplift your spirits and who knows you might meet like minded people and make new friends.
There are lots of things you could do, just make the first effort and see the difference!

Answer 3

Hi, I would say you are very smart in not diving into another relationship right off. It's normal what you are feeling. You seem to be a young person and you will go through times like this more than once. It's finding ways to cope with those feelings and healing through them. It's good to start filling your life up with other things and activities that will enrich your life. Take up a hobby that you've wanted to do for a while. Or go treat yourself to a movie. Or curl up with a great book. It's actually very healthy to have your time where you can nurture yourself. Reading is great or going to the park. It sounds like you finding other things that make you feel good about yourself will be helpful.

Answer 4

Sounds like the situation I'm in, all my friends have their own partner except for me and we no longer hang out with each other.

Well, I guess the best I could do is to get use to loneliness, find stuff to do that I could enjoy that doesn't need anyone else.

And I spend alot of my time here at Y!A. Not really a good one, but whatever that keeps me distracted.

Answer 5

Best way to beat loneliness is to get active with exercise. This can be done by either joining a gym to going for a walk or run where there are heaps of people. Not only will you and your body feel better by exercising it a great way to meet new people and feel good at the same time!

Answer 6

don't go looking for a boyfriend or you'll find yourself settling for someone who isn't right for you. it's good that you realize that much. you'll know when you're ready to try again. you should be open to love but it's not something that can be hunted down, it'll be more enjoyable if it happens on its own. if you happen to stumble upon a great guy, go for it!
but until then, try to organize a girls' night out or find some girls that are also boyfriendless. don't pull yourself away from your friends who are in relationships though!


to answer your initial question, what you can do while you're feeling lonely is extracurriculars! sports! clubs! do things you enjoy and you'll be sure to meet new people, and feel good about yourself.

good luck and don't rush yourself

Answer 7

Believe it or not, it's GOOD to be lonely every now and then. But I do agree with David. Make the best of it, but don't let it depress you (that's not good). Think of the positive side of being alone; don't dwell on the negative. Chat online, go out with other friends (both male and female). Let things flow. You'll soon be on a roll again. But do not fear. Put your trust in God. I mean it! Don't rush into things, Just take it easy, take them as they come.

Answer 8

Try to join some clubs where being single isn't a factor. Perhaps a Church group, political group, or community volunteer group. Working with others to do something you believe in will help you take the focus off of yourself and you'll make some great new friends.

Answer 9

If you want someone to talk to, why does it have to be a boyfriend? I find sites like these help me to feel better. Although, I don't usually get very lonely, I'm pretty anti-social. You have to chose wether you want a boyfriend yourself, but before you do, be positive it is what you want. Otherwise, chances are it will end badly....

Answer 10

i sometimes feel like you , except my some of my friends leave me out, dont worry , think about whats important now your studies and when you grow up go get a good job and then get a good guy, your friends are probaly going to have a hard time in school cause all they think is about there boyfriends , guys could get into your life and maybe destroy everything , be happy now and then get a good guy later

Answer 11

Check the local YMCA for a class or hobby to meet more people.
Volunteer your time at a hospital or senior citizen center.
Check your local paper for event in your neighborhood that catch your interest.
Soon you will have lots of friends and people that share your interest.