One or Two Children ?????

Question

I am 40 years, wife 31 years. Our son is 3 &1/2. We are confisued if we should have one children forever or try to have another baby.

1. Is it wise to have another one?

Both working parents. Have good Income, Assets, House and Good job.

2.Worried if I die, then what ?

Answer 1

1. Yes.
2. If?

Answer 2

Ok... only you and your wife can decide if you can have another children. You sound like you are financially stable but are you emotionally and physically stable? Im assuming you are since you have a 3 1/2 yr old and they arent easy! I think its nice to have siblings for the other children to grow up with but your 3 yr old will prob be almost 5 by the time you have a second one.... As far as if you die, you cannot predict that nor do you have any control over that. You could die tomorrow and then what? You could die a week after the baby is born and then what? The most important part is the baby knowing it was wanted and had 2 parents that loved it more than life itself. You can always consider adoption too... That way you can even adopt a 1-2 yr old that would be closer in age or a 5-6 yr old. There are millions of children that need homes in this world! Discuss the options and reasoning with your wife.... that is the only way you are going to be happy in the end.

Answer 3

As a person who experienced both being an only child, and having siblings (I was 7 when my sister was born, and 9 when my brother was born), I can definately say I much prefer having siblings. There's nothing 'wrong' with choosing to have only one child, I know a few families who are perfectly happy with just one. My mom thought she only wanted one until I was 6, and started all-day school for the first time. I think she was lonely.

I have one child, and I'm desprately ready to have another one, but we're not ready financially yet, so we must wait.

The concerns that you listed are good ones, and whether its 'wise', I can't say. But I can tell you that it sounds like you could definately handle it, and your wife is at a great age for it- no special concerns there.

As for you second worry, well, that could happen no matter how many children you have. And if you live your whole life worrying about when you're going to die, you're going to look back in several years and have a lot of regrets.

Answer 4

The reason we went with two is simple. Someday you and your wife will be gone, and all the "grown-ups" will be dead. If the child is an only child, they will feel that loneliness keenly. But having a sibling gives you a life-long friend, better than any non-blood friend in many cases. The best gift you can give your first child is a little brother or sister. For this reason we had our two close together in age. The end result is they play well together and get along great - just like me and my sister!

It sounds like your main worry is if you die. Please invest in life insurance. Of course your family will still have hardships and challenges, but if you can at least provide for them financially, they'll figure the rest out. And are you worried raising two kids will be too much for your wife? You forget how eager your son will be to help! At first it's getting a spare diaper or burp cloth for you, but it continues well on, to standing up for them at school or helping with homework. Each addition to the family requires the rest of the family to help - that's true no matter how many more you have.

But I recommend two. Two replaces you and your wife population-wise (not that this world really needs it, but at least you aren't immediately adding to the population problem! :0). Also, going from 2 to 3 means going from man-to-man to zone defense!

Answer 5

my father would always say that the greatest gift he ever gave my brother and I was a sibling. I agree to an extent. I am the oldest and have become a leader by being the oldest child, my decisions good and bad have shown my brother what (not) to do.
If you can afford it, I say go for it. All parents worry about "what if I die?" but a life insurance policy is the best way to help your family (not matter how large or small) in the even of your death.

Good luck! :)

Answer 6

Do you want another one? If your wife is healthy then definitely should try for a daughter. Gotta have one of each.

If you die tomorrow, all your assets will go to your wife. Set up a will for both you and your wife now. Don't delay. You can also buy life insurance for youselves that will benefit your children. Decide who will take care of your children should both you and your wife die. That should be in your will. Good luck.

Answer 7

I am an only child and I would never have it any other way. Growing up I always wanted a sibling but once I hit 10, I loved every minute of being an only child. My parents and I got to travel a lot, we were really close, and I always got to bring friends with me places if I needed companionship. Now I'm married and my parents are my best friends. Looking back I realise my parents got to give me a lot more because it was only me, I got everything I ever wanted, got to travel mroe then my friends did, and I have a special bond with my parents that is unexplainable. Spoil your one son, travel and take him places most people only dream of seeing. Enjoy being the 3 musketeers!

Answer 8

Here's something else to think about. My parents were only children. As a result, I have no aunts, uncles, or first cousins. I've always felt out that I missed out on something because I have so few close relatives. The decision to have another children should be yours alone but that's another angle to consider. If your son remains an only child, he will have no nieces or nephews except by marriage but that's only if he marries someone with siblings.

Answer 9

Well, I'm a stay-at-home mom of 4 and I wouldn't have it any other way. My best friend was an only child, and she was always at my house when we were little because she never had anyone to play with. And if you are concerned about death and leaving your family with a financial burden, then I would suggest life insurance so if anything ever happens to either of you, the living spouse will have some money to fall back on.

Answer 10

You are not required to have another child.
what you should be asking yourselves is do you WANT another child
if you don't then don't have one
you could also make a list cons and pros to help u decide

as for worried about if you die..... u have a wife and child now, do u still worry about if you die? how does another child come into play with that one? Buy life insurance

Answer 11

Are you ill? You're only 40 years old, I doubt you're going to die soon unless you're sick or get into a freak accident. If you want another child, have one. My mom was 41 and my dad was 44 when they had my younger brother and they were really happy. Your wife is still very young and so are you. Anyways, only child's are usually brats haha.