Your kids tell you that your nanny is taking naps -- what do you do?

Question

We share a nanny that watches 3 kids -- two are 5 and the youngest is 3. The other familes daughter was telling them of a bizarre game the kids are playing during the day. When asked where the nanny was, she responded by saying when the nanny puts the 2 year old down for a nap, she sneaks downstairs and lays down on our couch, leaving the two 5 year olds unattended in front of the TV. We asked our son tonight about it and he told us the same thing.

We're paying her to watch our kids, and I found out that she's taking naps instead. I'm furious. What would you do in this situation? My wife and I have different opinions on the situation.

Both kids just turned 5, so they're closer to 4 rather than 6.

The television is okay for them to watch, it's the non-supervision that I don't like. One of the kids is a boy and the other is a girl and they have been playing games that neither family agrees with and that no person with half of a brain would allow if they were supervising children.

And for the idiot that suggets I fire the nanny and watch my kids myself, my wife and I both work full time jobs. When we're not at work, we're always with our kids and don't get babysitters.

Sure I could stay at home during the day. Only problem is we'd have no roof to live under.

Answer 1

The simple solution is to get a new nanny. If you do not like the job your current nanny is doing them fire her. Find another nanny that suits your needs.

You may want to talk to your nanny about this. Children often don't tell the whole truth. She may not be sleeping while your children are watching t.v, maybe the kids are watching for an hour while she lays back on the couch and relaxes for a moment or two. As I nanny I have run into parents that think I have an unlimited supply of energy and can go all day without a moment to sit on the couch and just relax. No other job is someone expected to work all day with no break. As a nanny we can't take an hour lunch to gain our energy back. It is a hard and exhausting job to watch three very young children all day with no break.

I highly doubt she is napping(of course that is just my opinion, as I could never imagine a nanny/babysitter sleeping while they are with children). I would wait and see what happens, give it another few days and ask the children again, but be careful not to ask leading questions. You can't ask did (insert name) sleep today on the couch?

Children are not very reliable when it comes to certain things. I remember a game I used to play with the children I watch. They called it "sleep monster". Basically I would pretend to sleep and the kids would come by and say BOO!. I would "wake" and act like a grumpy monster. One the day the littlest told her mother I was sleeping(referring to the game), when she was asked what we had done that day. Luckily I was there to clarify and tell the mother what the little girl was talking about, otherwise it would have sounded like I was napping on the job.

As for nanny cams, I have never liked them. If you do not trust the nanny fire her. I can say as a nanny, if I found out that the family I was with taped me with a nanny cam, and I was not doing anything wrong, I would quit on the spot. I would find it insulting that the parents would sneak around instead of talking to me about it. If they said to me "I am putting in a nanny cam" I would be fine with that. You don't need proof, just let her go.

In a situation like this you need to go with your instincts. Give her notice so she may begin looking for another job. Its not really fair to her if you choose to fire her, but keep her around for another week or two so you can find someone else. As if the sleeping situation is ok because you are in a tight spot, but as soon as you find someone else you let her go.

Answer 2

I am a nanny and I know that kids can not be left alone, especially in front of the TV. All that will do is rot their brain. What if the older kids were playing with matches and started a fire. Even if they have been taught not to play with them, there is still the chance that they will be curious. She would not be able to get all the kids out in time if she is sleeping. I work 3 jobs and the only time I take a nap is if my son and the little boy I watch are both taking their naps and I leave my door open so I can hear them.

Answer 3

This is not fair to the kids obviously. If I were you I would put a nanny cam, or some camera hidden downstairs to where you could foucus in on the couch. You can find those little cameras pretty cheap now. Probably under $50. You could bust her by showing her the tape. That way you have solid proof that she is doing what they are saying. Or, someone could, if available, take a vacation day and pretend you are going to work, and drop in about 30 mins. after the 2 yr. olds nap. Either one, I think you need solid proof. Not that your kids aren't telling the truth, but she could use that as an excuse. Maybe this was a one time thing, you never know, but I would definitely get solid proof. Hope this helps.

Answer 4

Clearly you need to get rid of your nanny, but the problem is what to do for child care. You have a couple options, including enrolling in a group day care, an in-home day care, hiring a new nanny, or arranging family care.

I would fire the nanny immediately, as your children are not being adequately supervised and could get seriously hurt while she is sleeping. Since there are multiple families paying the nanny, each of the parents could take one day off of work to watch the children until replacement child care is arranged. They might even be able to extend their work days by a couple hours so compensate for the lost day. If this is agreeable to everyone, you wouldn't even have to pay for child care at all.

If you decide to get a new nanny or day care, be sure to check their references first. Good luck!

Answer 5

I would get a nanny cam and catch her in the act, yes you should trust your kids but proof is better. Also catch her in the act, come home during that time and sneak into the house. Make sure if you have a door alarm you turn it off that morning so she doesn't hear you coming in. If she is asleep when you come in let her go right then, no chances. If she didn't hear you come in then she might not have heard if an intruder came in, or if one of the kids snuck outside.You may have to find a replacment fast but at least you would know that your kids are cared for properly

Answer 6

You couldnt sleep on the job, so neither should your nanny feel like she can sleep on the job. Simply put, she's on your clock....she plays by your rules. No sleeping on the job.

I would confront her. I would see how she reacts. You know her well enough to know when she is telling you the truth and when she is not (gets squirmy, rapid eye movement, etc). I would totally make a judgement call on her reaction. It's tough because noone ever watches your children like YOU DO...however, people pay nannies GOOD MONEY and it's easy money...so they should at least work (I am with you on this).

My neighbor and I both watch each other's nannies - and I watched her nanny put her 2 year old outside UNATTENDED. I watched from my backyard. My neighbor confronted her, she denied it - but I watched this with my own eyes. Be ready for her to deny it and get defensive. If you smell a rat (that she is lying), well then, start the hunt for a new nanny - it may take a few months to find another one, but then you will have to replace her because you will never be able to trust her with your children.

P.S. My neighbor now has a new nanny.

Answer 7

Get rid of her and get yourself another nanny, it is totally inappropriate for her to be sleeping when she should be taking care of your children. She is an adult and shouldn't need a nap during the day. Does she have a contract, have you drawn up a set of rules that you expect her to comply with, if not make sure you give clear instructions of what you expect from your next nanny

Answer 8

Children of this age need to be supervised, so the nanny has to be in the same room and not asleep. Do you have "no TV" guidelines for the nanny? Lock her out of the TV, so she can't turn it on.

Talk to her, and see if maybe this was just a "one-time" thing and she wasn't feeling well, etc. If you're not satisfied with her answer, get a nanny who has more energy and is anti-TV.

Good luck to you!

Answer 9

Hire a new nanny. Make appointments for interviews when you and your husband are home. If you have to work like most people do. Don't quit your job. But this nanny is of poor help. You are paying her to supervise the children. And she is not properly doing it. A new nanny is a must!!

Answer 10

Simple. Find a new nanny. She's not paid to sleep on the job unless she's a live-in nanny. The kids might be well behaved and able to amuse themselves for short periods, but it only takes a second for one to have an accident and need first aid. She should be watching them at all times.