We pay child support of 1,600 + pay health insurance for my husbands kids of $587 per month, his kids are 16, 15, &11 the middle one wants a cell phone for xmas, guitar lessons and a xbox 360 plus 6 games, the 16 year old wants a car, insurance and $1,000 gas card, the youngest hasn't given us his wish list yet. My husband wants to provide all of these things for x-mas, however he pays over 1/2 of his imcome in support...if you add these other things on top monthly I am going to be extra busy bringing in the additional money to pay for all of these things, plus all of our expenses. I am really mad right now. I still have to buy for my daughters and son in law. Plus my mother in law wants a diamond necklace for xmas and my husband wants to get that also. These people think I am made of money!!!!! What would you do to make it stop?
2007-11-13 12:01:21 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well unfortunatley your hubby is probably compensating for not having custody of the children, and they have figured out they can and will milk him for all he's got (that his ex isn't already getting!) I think you both need to set a Christmas budget- and stick to it. Then sit down and tell the kids that unfortunatley money is tight, so they need to scale down their Christmas lists. It's not fun, but they need to learn the meaning of Christmas isn't cool, expensive gifts.....maybe refresh their minds on the reals reason for the holiday. Another option (and I know this is a stretch) but depending on his relationship with the kids' mom, would it be an option to go 50/50 on some of these? (I know most cases that isn't an option at all, but you never know.....)
2007-11-13 12:15:07 · answer #1 · answered by Skiball 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I would do is do the best that you can this Christmas, and starting in January open up a Christmas club account and begin putting back money for next Christmas. Believe me this really really helps. And another thing is to start buying several months before Christmas when things are a lot cheaper. A couple of months before Christmas the retailers triple the costs of merchandise.
2007-11-13 12:14:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This has nothing to do with your mother in law or the kids. This has EVERYTHING to do with you and your husband ONLY.
What you guys, as a couple, decide to give is IT!
Your husband is being unrealistic and you need to reign in his spending.
A son shouldn't be buying his mother a diamond necklace - that's for his mother's boyfriends/husband to do.
Your daughters are married now - they aren't children. Spend only $20 per daughter and son-in-law and tell them to do the same for you.
YOu have to set realistic limits.
What it sounds like is that you need to be fair as well. You shouldn't spend more on your relatives than his relatives.
I would set a $20 limit for all the adults and $100 limit for each kid.
2007-11-13 12:28:35 · answer #3 · answered by Dina K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We just said we are not doing it anymore. We'll see how it goes since this is the first year we are sticking to our decision. We take care of the kids and spend equal amount on them and they know what that is. We only buy one small gift for them (4 kids) and the rest is gift cards or cash. It takes the stress out of the holidays. Also this year we a picking names with the adult family members so no one has to spend a ton of money and still everyone gets a gift.
2007-11-13 12:09:05 · answer #4 · answered by April First 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband. There is NO way that they can get all of that unless you rake in money every day. Seriously. It's unreasonable. Get them what they want most, then get them 1-2 other things that's a little cheaper. If they want to help pay for it, then that's a different story. But it really can't be expected for your sons to get all of that when you have other people to give gifts to too
2007-11-13 12:11:18 · answer #5 · answered by sk8tbrdswdtw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow!
I hope you and your husband talk about all these gifts. I'm not sure that I'd bring up the support and health insurance, though. It might be better to have a heart to heart about what your family budget can afford to spend on gifts for everyone.
My husband and I only had our own two girls to care for and be generous with. I can tell you that we were never as extravagant with their gifts as what you describe.
2007-11-13 12:09:58 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband thinks that buying his children's love is going to ease his guilt. Your mother thinks you can afford gifts like a diamond necklace. You can't be walked all over if you don't lie down.
Take yourself to the islands for Christmas and let them fend for themselves.
2007-11-13 12:10:10 · answer #7 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nicely, this sounds like a sticky challenge. yet, i think of which you and your husband are authentic. the money which you get on your toddlers needs to pass on your toddlers, no longer his. and that i accept as true with you putting something interior the financial business enterprise. Your husbands teenagers would desire to realize (even if i comprehend that they wont, theyre toddler's) that the toddler assist you acquire isn't for them. that's a shame in recent times thats toddler's positioned plenty emphasis on what they get for trip trips etc. You and your husband did the spectacular element by using paying for his toddler's presents along with his money. From what I comprehend, their mom continues to be interior the photograph, so as that they are going to be getting presents from her too. You dont say something approximately your toddler's dad, so i will assume that they don't have touch with him. teenagers do no longer comprehend the assumption of money or how plenty each thing costs in recent times. So, they are going to be mad. yet, it truly is a few thing that they are going to ought to recover from. possibly in the event that they are sufficiently previous, you could clarify to them why your toddlers have greater supplies than they do. i comprehend it somewhat is a problematic place to be positioned into, however the toddlers ought to study that it is not continually approximately them. Granted, it somewhat is Christmas, yet that doesn't inevitably advise that all and sundry gets equivalent quantities of presents. in spite of exceeded off to being grateful to get supplies at Christmas time. His teenagers are in all possibility thinking that he loves your toddlers greater beneficial than he loves his very own, yet in basic terms through fact they do no longer comprehend the full challenge. i think of that the two one in all you're able to desire to take a seat down them down and clarify it to them. that's concerning the superb you're able to do. I desire you luck.
2016-10-02 07:32:52 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You buy what you can afford and make sure it is equal in $. Those kids are taking advantage of you.
2007-11-13 12:17:34 · answer #9 · answered by Kaye B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make a budget for everyone and tell them to make suggestions that fit within it.................then let hubby pick from those suggestions
2007-11-13 12:15:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋