How do I make this work???

Question

We and my man got engaged in May 2007, we set our date for July 12, 2008. Well some things came up and we decided to get married this last Sept 2007. But when we got married, it was his immediate Family, my parents and Grandmother, thats it. I told my family that I was already married, they were sorta happy for me, and then I told them we decided to have another Ceremony and Reception as planned for July so that those that were'nt there with us, could be there to witness a ceremony. My family is very old fashioned, and even though we dont talk on an everyday basis, my family is very close and would be disapointed if they didnt get to see me get married! My question is this, my Husband feels like it would be lying to our family to have a Vow Renewal Ceremony after only being married less than one year. He only wants to have a Reception, but I'm having family from out of state come to this and I know they wouldnt want to go all that way for just a Reception. Any ideas for what I can do?

How can I keep my family happy as well as my Husband?? He knows how old fashioned they are, and what they expect from me.

I've tried talking to him about it, but he just got mad at me, he apologized after and said we would discuss it later, but Im running out of time, and there has to be a way to get him to understand. He thinks that the ceremony we had in Sept should have been all that I needed and that I dont need to make my family happy. But I've already promised my family a Ceremony and Reception in July, and cant go back on that.

Answer 1

Strange that you say you're really close with your family and yet you got married with just HIS family present. You are lucky that your family even wants to host a reception for you! You have had your marriage ceremony. Your family missed it. You can't repeat history.That's it. I repeat. you got married. they missed it. And your husband is correct in saying that it is tacky to have a vow renewal ceremony in the same year you got married. People will think you had a fight, separated and now are trying to work things out! You must send out announcement cards stating that you got married and that they will be invited to a celebratory reception in July hosted by your family so please save the date. (mention the date) And you send those out NOW. It's already a bit late for the announcement but etiquette doesn't seem to be your strongest attribute. Then in end of May your folks can send out the invitations inviting people to a reception in July to celebrate the marriage of you and your hubby. Hopefully you won't be pregnant and then you can wear your wedding dress again and take family photos. As for out-pf-state people, it is up to them if they wish to attend a reception and it is also their prerogative whether or not to send a gift at this late date. You will soon learn in life that you must live by your decisions and that you can't expect the world to dance to your tune!

Answer 2

one word: comprimise

consider having the vow renewal portion of the evening in a more casual setting. perhaps have it at the reception location as a part of the evening. serve your guests a signature drink along with appetizers. then have them gather in an appointed section for the vow renewals which can be a more casual version of what you did last sept.
place photos of your sept 2007 ceremony in places where guests can peruse and feel a part of that day as well.
this way it is more than "just a reception" but less than a whole second ceremony and reception type event.

communicate w/ your husband about how important it is to you. he will most likely understand if you are willing to comprimise.
wishing you the best!

Answer 3

Perhaps just have the reception like your husband wants but block out a short period of time where you get on stage and do a quickie version of your wedding instead of walking down the aisle and all of that.

I understand your family is traditional....but your marriage isn't. You went courthouse honey and there is nothing wrong with that but you need to accept it too. You are NOT married to your family and if your husband says he's not doing the whole church thing until at least a year later you will need to respect his wishes. You are the one in the wrong. You should never have promised your family a vow renewal in July until your husband agreed to it.

Answer 4

People don't renew their vows that soon! They do it on the 10th or 20th or later. If you have a reception that far after your marriage, people will think you are having it just to get presents. I have gone to a reception two weeks after a wedding, but I wouldn't go to one that many months after.

You had your wedding day already, for whatever reason. Can't do it over again. If you want a reception, do it SOON. Don't wait till next summer.

Answer 5

Hi and congratulations!

I know you must have had a reason to get married earlier than your planned wedding. For whatever reason that was (and it's none of my business or anyone else's for that matter), the fact remains that you are now married.

This question is coming up more and more....and the question to you is ....why the re-do? Yes, is it common to have a renewal of vows (I had one at my 25th), but they are more simple ceremonies...NOT a wedding. For whatever reason you did the "courthouse" wedding....you did...so you must accept it.

A renewal of vows is more for a milestone anniversary 10, 15, 20, 25, etc. NOT for someone who is already married less than a year....that would be crazy! And would it even be that special for you? I mean...you are already married!

Have a one year anniversary party if you want, but keep it at that. Your family WILL get over it.

Answer 6

Why not say your own vows to each other at a reception instead of going through the whole marriage thing again. Tell each other what the other person meant to you over the last year and at the end have someone pronounce you husband and wife . This has been a few times before and it really works.

Answer 7

This is crazy. If you want to have the ceremony that you promised your family, then tell your husband how important it is to you and have it. But you should not lie to your entire family. You are having it to make your relatives feel included but if they woudn't come to a reception then they must not feel the need to celebrate your marriage. If they want to be included then tehy will come, if they don't then they won't. You shouldn't trick them into coming because if anyone finds out, then you are going to have even more upset people than you already have.

Answer 8

Why not renew your vows and have a reception on your 1 year anniversary (or close to your anniversary.)

It is a bit too soon to renew your vows especially on a random date, I think it would have more meaning if it was on or close to your anniversary.

Good luck!

Answer 9

there is not any way of information which gender is wisely extra beneficial aggressive than diverse on a similar time because it is composed of relationships (lesbian, gay, transsexual, right this moment, or bisexual) and its impossible to be one hundred% effective on a similar time because it is composed of the learn that record information from others, simply by actuality human beings are incredibly no longer consistently trustworthy on a similar time as comes each and every of ways right down to it. it fairly is an extraordinarily mushy project and human beings are incredibly no longer consistently desirous to communicate concerns of companion abuse or to record it to government. on a similar time simply by fact it the learn may well be very precise, it has additionally been shown that lady tend to be extra beneficial open approximately extra beneficial mushy concerns than optimal grownup adult males, simply by actuality optimal grownup adult males do now no longer % to confess they have been overwhelmed up via their companion (male or lady) and taking this into interest, its very practically impossible to confirm that anybody is telling the reality (different than of direction we upload safety cameras all around them or have somebody save on with them 24/7, yet that does now no longer artwork for obtrusive motives) So on a similar time as this learn may well be precise its incredibly approximately impossible to tell no count if its genuine or now no longer, and if its genuine and gay women human beings human beings tend to be extra beneficial violent than gay grownup adult males, than there is a few the clarification why this may well be (verbal disagreements that turn incredibly, temper swings, pms and so on)

Answer 10

Your husband is being a jerk, plain and simple. I would ask him straight up what his problem is. I mean seriously how selfish can you be, his family gets a wedding but yours doesn't?