My 16 year old daughter has a baby. Now she thinks i cannot tell her what to do. she wants emancipated.?

Question

She thinks i cannot say anything to her. She disrespects me. She disrespects her step dad. Yet, I have no choices. BY law i am legally responsible for her and now her child. I get the formula, take child back and fourth to daycare. I have md appts. etc.. I also have to son's . She threatens me with not going to school. Because she knows that i am legally responsible for that. She wants me to kick her out or take her crap. She is way to immature to have had a baby. She is good one on one with her daughter. She is so verbally abusive to everyone in household. What can i legally do?

Answer 1

I am sure you love your daughtter very much and seeing her act this way is not easy. Especially when you are taking care of her child.

I would suggest that you continue doing things for the child (as she is your grandchild) but refuse to take care of your daughter.

Make her get a job. If she doesn't want to go to school don't fight her on it.

Let her see what it feels like to work full time (which she probably can't) and come home tired and want nothing more than her bed but instead, have to take care of a screaming child.

I would not get up to take care of the baby at night that would have to be her resposibility.

You should absolutely not tollerate any kind of disrespect from your child because that is exactly what she is acting like (a child). Remind her that she was grown enough to go and get pregnant now, she has to be woman enough to take care of her child

I would not involve social services just yet as they might take the child from you both. What if they say you already have your hands full with three kids and can't handle another baby in the house? They might think if you can't handle a 16 year old then you can't handle a baby.

I know the things I have suggested seem harsh. I was going to go as far as suggesting you throw her out but it would not do any good because she would have to take the child with her and they both would end up in the system.

I'm sure after a month of living on her own with the baby she would come running back to you though

Answer 2

First things first, you really do need to speak with family services (social services). Unless you are very rich, in which case all you have to do is send her to a boarding school until she turns 18.

Likely, social services will have a way to deal with your daughter without endangering your grandchild. However, the main thing is to know what she's doing. If she's refusing to go to school, call the police. Skipping school is against the law. If she's drinking or doing drugs, call the police, those are also against the law. If she's taking anything from your home withough asking (for example, money or the car) call the police. Let her see that what she does is her responsibility.

In the mean time, stop providing anything but basic necessities for her. Provide for the child, but not your daughter. Let her have five changes of clothing, lock up the rest. Allow access to basic raw foods (peanut butter, break, canned vegetables and fresh fruits) but, if you can, lock up the rest. Do not give her any privelages at all until she starts respecting the rest of he household. Take away any 'perks' you've provided her. These include her purse, any fancy toiletries, make-up, all but one pair of sneakers (she doesn't need sandles or any other shoes). Provide her only generic or low cost shampoos and soap and toothpaste. Really make her live on basic necessities! She'll get it into her head that you're serious.

Answer 3

Legally,you can call Social Services and have them look into
the matter. She thinks she's an adult but she's not-and if she's
threatening you with not going to school,you can threaten her
with foster care. It's not like you would be throwing her out
into the street. I'm not clear about what would happen to the baby.

It's better to negotiate a peace,but if your daughter is that
much out of control and doesn't want to compromise,the
alternative would be surrender. Try to work things out,but don't
let her walk all over you.

As for emancipation,that is granted by the judge under special circumstances. Such as where the child is being
raised under emotionally abusive conditions and is shown
to have the intellectual and emotional maturity to live on her
own. It's not an option for every spoiled kid who wants to move out. Maybe you should invite her to try if she can find a lawyer who'll take her case. If she swings that,it'll probably
end up with the judge denying her petition.

It sounds like what she really needs is to grow up and that takes time. Some people never do it.

Answer 4

As hard as it may be, give her the option to live by your rules or she can move out and you keep the baby until she gets her crap together. Involving social services may not be the thing to do right now just cuz they may take the baby from you also. She is the one that made that baby so she needs to show that she can care for it. You need to have a heart to heart with her and just explain that you are doing what you can to help her and that all this is being put on you, when you already have had your kids. You need to gain control of your household NOW and don't let her boss you around. you are the parent, not her.

And if you still can't get thru to her, get social services involved and ask them for help to counsel your daughter. If she acts up, they may leave the baby in your hands. Maybe then she'd appreciate all that you do for her.

Answer 5

What a tough situation! Obviously, the first thing you have to do is secure the future of your grandchild. Seek legal council and take custody of that baby...do NOT relinquish it until your daughter finishes school! Talk to her school about her truancy, they will send an officer to get her if need be. Your daughter needs to finish high school, and get a college degree if she wants to raise this child, use the baby as leverage to make her do so. Also, perhaps it is time to send her to a boot camp for a little attitude adjustment. Or, maybe some family councilling is in order. I'm having a hard time understanding why your daughter is so angry and abusive to you if you are doing so much to be supportive. Maybe a trained therapist could help resolve this.

Don't worry about her getting emancipated, she won't be allowed to do so if she cannot provide for herself and she quits school. In any case, get custody of the baby so she cannot take it anywhere!

Answer 6

You can't prevent her from being verbally abusive. Think about this. She has a baby and she's still only 16 years old. Her life is OVER!!! AND IT NEVER REALLY BEGAN! She feels trapped. And why shouldn't she? She IS trapped! Gone is the joy of being 17 and FREE! Of finally turning 18! Of turning 21 and getting legally HAMMERED for the first time. Going to college and getting a degree in marketing or marine biology or whatever. All she has to look forward to is a mewling, drooling, screaming rugrat every day for the rest of her LIFE!! By the time HER kid is 16 (and god forbid her baby is a girl because then it's the same situation as you have all over again) she'll be 32 with no skills, no options and no future. How would you feel? -----oh----wait-----let me backpedal here----

Answer 7

it's not selfish to raise your daughter. There might be tough times, but that happens for everyone. Being a mother is about you and your child, not your parents/step parents. They've done their parenting, they've had their turn. If you have considered adoption you need to be aware only 50% of adoptions which are open actually stay open and currently there are no laws enforcing that they stay open, so you really will be giving your daughter away. If you want to keep your daughter, no-one has the right to take that away from you. It doesn't sound like you're incapable of providing a decent life for her.

Answer 8

you should try to find out why she is so angry and abusive towards everyone. Was she like this before she had the baby? could it be postpartum depression. I think you should get her into some kind of counseling. there is a reason for everything, try diggin a little different. and as far as laws go legally she has sole responsibility for her daughter. she may be going through something that your unaware of, so do a little investigating

Answer 9

You need to recheck the laws. In some states she would be automatically emancipated. In MOST however she is not BUT the child is HER responsibility, even legally. No judge will sign emancipation papers if she isn't responsible for herself never mind the child.

Answer 10

Maybe she isn't doing things for herself b/c you are always doing the,. I know it will be hard, but live your life and don't do anything for her or the baby. If she fails to act like an adult and step up, call social services. As the grandmother, they will offer you full custody before anyone else.