i dont like my dad..?

Question

sounds harsh. but i dont.
he was never there when i was growing up.
and even though he and my mother are still married, he has had many affairs, and i have a half brother.
when i was ten, he decided that me and my mum should go live with him in ghana. then a year later, it was zimbabwe we were moving to.
he called me fat, even though im underweight; he let me put my trust in him, then betrayed me.
now im back in scotland. and he's coming for xmas. my mum seems genuinely happy, but im dreading it.
how will i cope? i cant speak to him, i hate him that much.

Answer 1

Since you said he was never there when you were growing up, you must be an adult, or at least old enough to be considered one.
You say your parents are still married, but he is coming for Christmas, so you do not have to travel and live different places with him anymore?
Will he be staying or leaving after the holidays?
Is there anyplace you can stay while he is visiting? A friend`s house?
If not, then the only thing you can do is stay out of his way when he is there. Hide in your room. Go out and visit friends, or the library, or the movies, or a gym.
If you do have to converse with him, be cordial. If he starts to say things you do not like then excuse yourself and leave or tell him that it is uncalled for and he may as well just keep his opinions to himself and then excuse yourself.
I do know that you do not have to like your father for what he did or still does, but you must respect him. It is a hard thing to do, but it is better than sinking down to his level.
You will be a better man for it.

Answer 2

As a father of three girls who love me dearly I can honestly say that you have no reason to feel bad about your feelings. I have always played an active role in my girls lives and this is why they love me. You reap what you sow.
Your father should be ashamed of himself. A parent should never make a child feel bad about themselves.
Try not to let this happen:
1. Don't let this affect your relationships, love life
2. Don't develop an eating disorder.
If you find this happening try to get therapy or at least someone to talk to.
Good luck

Answer 3

Dont feel bad about yourself.He`s the one with the problem...strange thing jealousy.I haven`t spoken to my mother for 4 months now..have tried to live up to her expectations for 30 odd years now & will never get there. Little sis is the blue eyed daughter & allways will b. Have realised I have my 2 wonderfull kids & hubby & to hell with mothers expectations. Live for yourself & go prove the swine wrong. (He`s not related to my Mum is he?!)

Answer 4

It doesn't sound harsh, just because he is your father it doesn't mean you have to like him. It costs nothing to be polite, so I am sure you can manage that. Any man can be a father but it takes a special man to be a Dad.
Just remember, be polite, it doesn't sound like he will be around for long, and any man that can try and put you down like that isn't worth wasting your energy by stressing over it.

Answer 5

You dont have to love your dad, but you should show respect to him. You are the bigger the person and are only hurting yourself by harboring such intense feelings of hatred. Treat his with respect when he comes and when he leaves, you will feel like a better person a not guilty for disrespecting him.

Answer 6

You shouldn't hate anybody! Try to be cordial to him for your Mother's sake. You don't have to be mean, just be distant towards him. He will get the message and if you get a chance, tell him how you feel and how he hurt you.

Answer 7

you don't say how old you are, are you old enough to spend some of Christmas enjoying your self with friends or another family relatives, I am sorry you do not get with your dad, does your mum know how you feel?

Answer 8

this kinda happened to me with my mom, i hated her so much i didn't want to see her or talk to her. but i realized taht she's my mom and that i love her.

Answer 9

you like your dad darlin xx