Oh my gosh, lately I mean for the past four months my son has been extremely terrible he screams over every little thing as loud as he can several times a day (he's nineteen months old) and it drives me nuts doesn't matter where we are or how I try to explain things to him he still does it. For example, we went to a store today and I took away a jar of olives from him for obvious reasons as we were checking out and he screamed and carried on all the way out to the car. Then once we reached the car he screamed because he had to go back into his car seat (which he hates but what can I do). We get home and he screams and screams when I tell him no, take things he don't need even if I explain why, try and change his diaper (he pooped like three times), and it seems to be getting worse. I try so hard to ignore it, but at what point does it become enough. I'm at my ropes end, and can't help but think if I did that growing up nineteen months old or not I would of gotten smacked. Advice?
2007-11-13 08:55:20 · 8 answers · asked by crymeariver 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I mostly try to ignore though, I certainly don't scream back nor do I hit. But is there a better way, because for some reason he has caught on to the importance of not hitting, but it's like he knows he can scream and there is really not a darn thing I can do about that guess baby's have a sense of freedom of speech.
2007-11-13 08:58:38 · update #1
I'm sorry to comment on someone elses answer, but it's impossible to reason with a 19 month old like Jay told you to. Why change the word no to something else? He's going to have to hear it when he goes to school and when he's an adult. It's simply impossible to reason with someone who can't even control their emotions or thought patterns. It's our job to give them the skills to control themselves, they're not born with it. That being said, the best thing to do si let him scream. Just keep doing your shopping while he's screaming in the cart. When he pauses ask him if he's finished. Sure you'll get some nasty comments from people who either don't have kids or if they do they let the kids control them, but who cares. They don't know you, and you'll probably never see them again anyway. I don't even put my son in his room at home when he throws a fit, because I don't want to react to him at all. I just sit there and pretend to read a magazine. He's 2, and he's figured out that it doesn't help to cry. He still does it occasionally, but not nearly as often as he used to!
2007-11-13 09:52:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
When my son started his screaming phase, I would always make it one level worse if I asked him to stop and he didn't. If we were at the store, I would say "If you don't stop, I'll take your toy away from you" and then "If you don't stop, we are going to go get in the car and put you in bed". My trick was to always let him know that the most important thing to me was that he listened to me while we were out and about. After a few trips home to the crib in the middle of grocery shopping, he knew I would do what I said, and he would stop when I asked. THEN, I would reward him, but never as "If you stop you get a prize". It was always "Stop now" and then "Very good listening, would you like a pretzel/cookie/etc".
Best of luck to you during the terrible twos!!
2007-11-13 13:34:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put him someplace safe, shut the door, and let him scream. Don't react. He's got you reacting to it (even just being frustrated!) and that's encouraging him. If you're out and about, put him in the car seat, make sure he's in no danger of freezing or roasting, and shut the door and stay outside. I can't tell you the number of hours I spent leaning against the side of the car while my kids screamed. Once they figured out that they couldn't scream and get my attention, the screaming stopped.
2007-11-13 09:12:55 · answer #3 · answered by KatJones37 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
We stopped the screaming by allowing it. Both boys (now 2 & 4) know the yare allowed to scream all the want, it just has to be done on their bed with the door shut.
When they started up we would scoop them up and plop them on their bed and say, when you're done you can come play and shut the door. Some days they were in there for hours, others minutes.
Now when they feel the need to scream, they get up, go to their room, shut the door, climb on their beds and let it all out. Sometimes they fall asleep for a bit afterwards, sometimes they just lay on their bed for a while.
When they come out, nothing is said to them about it and everything goes on as normal.
2007-11-13 09:09:18 · answer #4 · answered by alynette84 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Is there someone in your house that either screams or yells alot? If so, that could be his example and why he feels he needs to scream.
I hate to say this, but he could act that way because it's the only way he gets a reaction. If kids are ignored no matter what their age, they yell out for attention.
Why give him a jar of olives, bring a little toy bag with stuff for him to hang on to so you don't have to rip the item he's interested in out of his hands.
Don't say "NO" anymore, change it to something else. He knows what no means and he knows there is no way around it. I know this sounds silly but compromise. Ask him to tell you what he wants. You can calm him down by creating a "calm down" zone. Sit with him and let him chill out. Then try again.
I know he's only 19 months old, but he's going to get worse i f you don't nip it in the bud.
My son hated his car seat also so instead of just putting him into it, I'd ask him to get into the car seat on his own. If he went without complaining I'd hand him a treat and have him pick out his fav kids cd to listen to.
Lastly, have the Dr. check him to make sure nothing is medically wrong just in case its causing pain although I don't think it's that.
2007-11-13 09:03:09 · answer #5 · answered by Jason 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Well, I am a believer in the POW POW theory. As you said they learn really fast that you are not going to do a d**** thing.
You can say please don't do that just so many times until you have to get their attention (with a swat) and then say please don't do that.
I had a nephew that was a screamer and I made him a screaming place. When he needed to scream, I put him in the screaming room and told him to scream and scream all he wanted. We left him in that room by himself (door was open) and if he stopped screaming, we would say...can't hear you, you need to scream louder. Every time he got quiet we would repeat, can't hear you,....scream louder. Every time he looked like he was going to throw a fit or scream we sent him to the screaming room. It only took 2 trips for him to stop that nonsense. His goal was to throw the tantrum in front of us and when he didn't get his way he stopped.
2007-11-13 09:08:16 · answer #6 · answered by Lyn B 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I feel for you! Every kid goes through stages, you'll get through this one eventually! Hang in there! (good for you not hitting)
2007-11-13 09:03:03 · answer #7 · answered by Dwight B 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
take away his toys, make him eat vegies, lock him in his room, ANYTHING to get him to stop!
2007-11-13 09:02:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋