sounds silly but is love meant to be painful and achy? i dont know whether im just permently down but i hate it whenever i can't my partner becuase hes got things to do. i see him everyday but on the odd ocassion i don't i feel so crap. i always feel lonely without him he can upset me so easily. im sooooo paranoid about things the longer the realtionship is. thinking men never stay faithful. might sound silly but i feel like i love him so much it hurts or is that something really dumb? like i could'nt bare to be without him or lose him. your probley going to say grow up love but you can save that i just want to know whether other people feel like this to...its like the best yet the worst feeling in the world....:S:S:Sxx
2007-11-13 08:01:56 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
can i say that i do do alot of things without him and i do have friends and when i havent seen him for like longer than like a day it gets easier. im not obsesssed he asks to see me and hates it when i can't see him.i just wanted to whether other people feel weird feelings. and i've never felt more happy in my life.
2007-11-13 08:13:49 · update #1
you are feeling exactly the same way as anyone in love, yes it is painful, it certainly doesn't involve happy feelings all the time, so rest assured it is normal, your fear of getting hurt is normal too, we are vulnerable once our heart is given, and it's a scary thing. my advice is to go with the flow, and enjoy being in love
2007-11-13 08:19:30 · answer #1 · answered by chakra girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I know the feeling well. I love him but he treats me so badly. Now I'm not certain if he is seeing someone else and has been for the whole time we were together. I am so attached to him which hurts a lot. Especially because he took off and I don't think I will ever hear from him again. He is always staying away for long periods of time, that's nothing new. But now he left and I don't think he's coming back. I am so hurt and my wedding plans are all in pieces. He doesn't seem to feel the pain I feel when he's making me wait. He shouldn't throw away the love we had because he doesn't trust. Which makes me feel sad. I wish I had a crystal ball that could go back and change things so they wouldn't get the way they are today.
2007-11-13 08:07:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well it depends how long you two have been together, when you usually meet someone new and you really really like them you become infatuated and that is a form of love but not true love in itself. True love takes time to develop as you get to know the person and work out and accept differences in each other. Infatuation typically lasts a couple of months depending on each person. When I'm infatuated I miss my partner a lot and want to be by their side but I know that I have to live my life and have my space to be healthy in my relationship. Eventually this wears out and you become comfortable with each other and being apart for a day or two isn't so bad. As for you being painful and achy, maybe you are a little too attached and that can really hurt if by chance he decides to break up with you or something happens. Try to give him and yourself space and I know it's hard because It was for me and my girlfriend, but try not seeing him or calling him for a day and just work from there, eventually you'll get use to it and be fine, also trust him and his faithfulness unless he has done/doing something that questions your trust. As for being permanently down all the time, that may sound like depression, make sure you are not suffering from that because that can affect things too. Anyway, I wish you luck!
2007-11-13 08:32:19 · answer #3 · answered by charchar88 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel ya. Love, lust, and obsession can all be very, very painful. You'll have to find a way to be secure in relationship, have a life of your own to fall back on when he's not around, or you'll need to tell him good-bye. I know the idea of dumping him makes you madder than heck, but sometimes that's the smartest thing to do. I've gone through the same thing and I couldn't even fathom the pain until I felt it and cried every day for months.
Here's a little song for you:
Never treats me sweet and gentle
The way he should
Cause I got it bad, and that ain't good
My poor heart is sentimental
Not made of wood
I got it bad, and that ain't good
But when the weekend's over
And Monday rolls around
My man and me, we play some,
We gin some and sin some
He don't love me
Like I love him
Nobody could
I got it bad, and that ain't good
Now folks with good intentions
Tell me to save my tears
I'm glad I'm mad about him
I can't live without him
Lord above me,
Make him love me
The way he should
Like a lonesome weeping willow
Lost in the wood
The way I hug my pillow
No woman should
Because I got it bad, and that ain't good
Duke Ellington
2007-11-13 08:09:23 · answer #4 · answered by kerber22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apparently none of the people that answered you have been in love except for one. Yeah it hurts and yes it can make you ache. You just need negative thoughts and enjoy the aches and pains of love without the paranoia because that can destroy love and a relationship. If he does leave you or fool around on you that's just life and there's nothing you can do about it but remember that when it happens to you again you're going to feel those good aches and pains once again and keep feeling them until you meet the perfect guy for you. Isn't it great?
2007-11-13 08:08:32 · answer #5 · answered by Jamie B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally feel ya!
Love is a drug. It feels great initially, and u can't get enough at times. Sometimes it's too much. but then when it disappears, u just want another fix. Something to keep that high, because it sucks when the void is empty. ANd th thing is, when u haven't felt it, u don't know what it's like when it's gone. U feel like u'll do anything to keep it too. More girls fall prey to love than boys. That's y most boys get laid, because they know that if they simulate love, they'll get sex, and both will be happy...because they both have their fix.
Yes, I feel u there too. There are times i just stayed in the union just not to feel alone again...not that i didn't like being alone, but just that if felt nice to b with some1 too. Now I'm free of him, and it feels nice...but i'm with another, and I've gotta just start over, and hope this one sticks.
2007-11-13 08:45:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh God, to some extent I understand. Ive gotten more jealous and possesive with time, where as my boyfriend has gotten more trusting. I trust him, but not the women around him. I'm not with him tonight and I feel bored and frustrated. I get angry when he doesnt reply to my messages....
To be honest love, I think we have the same problem- we need to get a life. Ive lost a lot of friends who have moved away and stuff lately, and I think you and me need to become less dependent and develop back ups so we arent left bored and alone if out boyfriends are busy.
I think if we dont, it could push our boyfriends away. No-one wants to be with someone too clingy.
2007-11-13 08:09:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
after 28 years my wife suddenly decided she didn't love me any more and had to leave her i was never unfaithful to her but she obviously didn't think the same way ,and yes love hurt very much it is very lonely without the one you love and gets you down to me the ultimate proof of love is the bearing of a child for that person you say you love and its the first face you want to see when you wake up and the last when you close the for keeps so when you think of them in the terms that you would die for them with a smile then you do love them but it has to be a two way street
2007-11-13 08:16:43 · answer #8 · answered by FRANK B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love can be painful if you are insecure, and paranoid about the one you love. Make sure it's love you are talking about, and not infatuation. You sound like you are trying to depend on him to make you happy. In order for your relationship to work, you have got to have time for yourself for work or school or your personal goals. Don't shortchange yourself and diminish who you are. You ARE someone who is important. Give your self-confidence a big boost. Don't let having a boyfriend be what boosts your confidence.
2007-11-13 08:13:24 · answer #9 · answered by The pink panther 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no, I feel this way with my boyfriend...I cry at the thought that I truly do love him. I look at love as a new beginning, just as I do life. Don't be paranoid, as I read your question you are describing me. With pain brings growth, and with wisdom brings understanding. Fear....it's a frightful thing! But only you and God protect your heart, so with him you'll never get hurt. Ask him to walk with you, and reveal himself to you because I know he will. God Bless IM me if you need to talk spelbound_diva@yahoo.com
2007-11-13 08:09:42 · answer #10 · answered by bayoubelle504 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋